Pronouns in Singapore: The Untold Stories You Need to Hear!
Did you know? Almost 6 in 10 LGBTQ+ individuals reported that they would consider severing familial ties if family members continued to address them with the wrong pronouns? OPPI recently conducted a study with 103 respondents from the Straight and LGBTQ+ community respectively, to study how the evolving pronouns would shape our society.
Singapore places a lot of emphasis on families, and we are probably the only country in the world with a “National Family Council” celebrating Families Week. With ~60% of LGBTQ+ respondents reporting their consideration to sever family ties highlights the sheer importance of gender pronouns. It also brings to light that it is not just a mere trend to keep up with but a phenomenon that should be addressed with utmost sensitivity due to the emotional aspect that directly affects individuals in the LBTQ+ community.
As cis-gendered, heterosexual individuals, or in this study referred to as the straight community, we will probably never have to face the struggles that our trans friends would. In fact, we will not even be close to understanding their situation. What we can do is carry ourselves with empathy and respect and cultivate a culture that welcomes, celebrates and affirms the identity of those who identify with a gender that is dissonant from their sex at birth.
Good news is, more than 75% of Singaporeans are open to embracing the use of gender-neutral pronouns. This evokes an encouraging sense of optimism as one respondent aptly puts it across, “Embracing gender-neutral language creates a more inclusive and welcoming environment for all individuals, regardless of their gender identity. It helps avoid assumptions and biases based on traditional gender norms”. Another chime in saying, “It’s their choice and request? Why (should we be) uncomfortable? It’s respect”.
Afterall, at the heart of the gender pronoun debate lies the quest for gender affirmation. It’s all about recognising and supporting individuals’ gender identity and expression. Gender affirmation involves receiving social recognition and support for one’s gender identity and expression. It’s like getting a high-five for being your true self! One critical aspect of gender affirmation is how we address each other using pronouns that align with our gender identity.
Imagine this: you’re at a party, and someone addresses you by the wrong pronoun. You have corrected them but they insist on using the wrong pronouns on you. I bet it feels disrespectful and even a little unsafe. Likewise, our study revealed that 81% of LGBTQ+ and 50% of straight respondents agreed on the hurtful aspect of misgendering. However, it’s important to note that gender pronouns are still relatively new, and most misgendering happens out of ignorance, not malice. As one respondent wisely put it, “Sometimes people slip up, and that’s okay, as long as they respect my gender identity.”
Singaporeans’ attitudes towards the embracement of gender pronouns are overall very promising. However, 58% of LGBTQ+ individuals and a stark 80% of straight individuals responded that they assume gender pronouns based on outer appearances, such as dressing and gait. This is reflective of our natural tendency to rely on available information when determining the preferred gender of the other party. With a larger proportion of straight individuals having the tendency to make such assumptions, the group acknowledges that identifying men and women are concepts that were “instilled in [them when] growing up”. They highlighted that it takes a conscious effort to “actively stop that thought and ask the person what they like to be addressed”. With scripts that we have learned from young interfering with the new practices today, it brings to light the complexity of navigating pronouns and the need for continued education and personal growth to acclimatise to a sensitive use of pronouns.
Here are some tips inspired by our findings and the wise suggestions of our respondents.
1. Ask and do not assume
When uncertain about someone’s pronouns, don’t play the guessing game. Instead, address the person by name or use a gender-neutral pronoun. Politely inquire about their preferred pronouns. And hey, if you’re meeting someone new, you can even do a quick outline profile check for any indicated pronouns preferences. Let’s avoid those misgendering blunders and create a safe space to share pronouns.
2. Share your Pronouns
Be a trendsetter! Foster a culture of pronoun sharing by actively introducing yourself with your pronouns. Nowadays, it’s also simple to declare your pronouns on your social media. It’s like wearing a cool pin that says “Hey, this is who I am, and I want to know who you are too!” But hey, remember that pronouns are a personal choice, if you’re not comfortable sharing them yet, no pressure. You do you, and when you’re ready, the pronoun parade will be waiting!
3. Be a Pronoun Ally
Show your support by using correct pronouns when addressing others. If you slip up and misgender someone, apologise sincerely and make an effort to correct yourself. We’re all human, and mistakes happen. Taking responsibility and showing genuine commitment to using the correct pronouns can go a long way in fostering understanding and respect. And hey, if you hear someone else make a mistake, politely help them correct it too. Teamwork!
In our ever-changing world, it’s crucial to create an inclusive and respectful environment that embraces diverse identities. By taking simple yet powerful steps like asking for preferred pronouns, normalising pronoun sharing, and sincerely apologising for mistakes, we can create an environment that celebrates diversity and promotes a sense of belonging.
Let’s strive for a future where everyone’s pronouns are acknowledged and honoured, where individuals feel seen and respected in their authentic identities. Together, we can contribute to a society that embraces the rich tapestry of gender diversity and paves the way for greater acceptance and understanding. And remember, navigating gender pronouns can be fun, respectful, and uplifting. So, let’s do it with a smile!
