A Different Side of Domestic Abuse

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of domestic violence? Many of us think of it as the husband/male partner being abusive towards their wife/female partner. It doesn’t really cross our minds that abuse towards children falls under that category as well. And many times we only think of the father being abusive towards their kids when in reality there are also mothers who are abusive towards their kids. There is also sibling abuse that occurs in the house. That is another topic that is not touched on very often. Children usually become victims because of how vulnerable and helpless they can be. Kids depend on their parents for protecting, caring, and loving them. And when the mother becomes the abuser many times kids feel helpless. There is also the problem of manipulation, a parent or sibling might make the child feel like it is their fault. Abuse comes in many forms, it is not only physical; it can also be emotional abuse, sexual abuse, or verbal abuse. Bell Hooks talked about domestic abuse in her chapter Ending Violence. It is a touchy subject but I believe that more people should be aware that anybody can be the abuser or victim. Why is it that when it comes to domestic abuse people do not want to get involved? It is frustrating to hear about stories where moms are abusing their children. And it is even worse when people know what is going on and do not do anything about it. Hooks made an interesting point, she said:

“Adults who have been the victims of patriarchal violence perpetrated by females know that women are not nonviolent no matter the number of surveys that tells us women often are more inclined to use nonviolence. The truth is that children have no organized collective voice to speak the reality of how often they are the objects of female violence. Were it not for the huge numbers of children seeking medical attention because of violence done by women and men, there might be no evidence documenting female violence.”

At times it seems unbelievable to hear of stories where mothers are abusive towards their children especially if it is physical because we view moms as loving and nurturing parents. We are just so used to hearing of fathers using physical force towards children. Sadly the act of physical punishment has become “normal” to some people because it is a form of correcting bad behavior; but the problem is that abusive parents do not have limits when it comes to hitting their child. Physical, verbal, emotional abuse all ties in together. When the parent or sibling is abusive towards kids they tend to be very insulting towards the victim. Another type of perpetrator that is often not really talked about is when the sibling is the abuser. Many times in these situations parents do not pay much attention because they see it as play fighting. Unfortunately parents will not do something about it until serious harm has been done. When should parents step in to stop sibling abuse? And what would be considered sibling abuse when we are so used to seeing siblings play fight? Many times the most vulnerable one becomes the victim and in many cases children are the easiest targets. I wanted to explain the first picture of this article, it says, “Why is it so hard to see black and blue?” The dress that she is wearing in the picture was so popular among social media. Some people would see it as black and blue while others would see it as white and gold. The Salvation Army had actually used this as a campaign to stop abuse against women. I thought that was pretty clever, especially when the quote about seeing black and blue is referring to her bruises. Even though the ad is about abuse towards women it is something that can be focused towards children as well. More people should be aware that mothers can also be abusive towards their kids’ not just fathers. I just find it clever how they used a topic that went viral on social media and used it to shed light on a very touchy subject.