Domestic Violence Not Only Involves Women
In the reading, “Feminism Is for Everybody,” by Bell hook, she talks about cultural awareness of domestic violence and how it should be reduced. She also talks about not only male to female violence, but same-sex as well and violence on children. Additionally, Bell mentions patriarchal violence, which is the “belief that it is acceptable for a more powerful individual to control others through various forms of coercive force.” This alternative definition of domestic violence covers “male violence on women, same-sex violence, and adult violence on children.” Patriarchal violence, stated by Bell, is linked with “sexism and sexist thinking, to male domination.”
Bell goes one to explain how domestic violence “has been used as a soft term.” By this she means that it is a phrase that has been used to describe confrontations between males and females in a private setting which are less threatening and violent. However, she then explains how this idea of domestic violence is not true, especially when there are more women assaulted in private settings than outside their homes. Also, Bells mentions that many think there is a difference between domestic violence, presented by males and females, and violence inflicted on children. Again, Bell states that this idea of domestic violence being different from violence against children is not true. She says that in many cases children are trying to defend one of their parents which results in them getting injured. It is unrealistic to think, in today’s society, that domestic violence is a “soft term issue,” when there are statistics that prove these ideas completely wrong.
For instance, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence database states that every 9 seconds in the U.S. a women is assaulted or beaten, or even more surprising, during one year, there are more than 10 million women and men involved in domestic violence.
The National Violence Against Women survey found that 21.5 percent of men and 35.4 percent of women living with a same-sex partner experienced intimate-partner physical violence in their lifetimes
Sexism and sexist thinking play a crucial role in domestic violence. Many men believe that they are the ones that have to make more than women and that they are to be the dominate ones. However, this results in many domestic violence problems. Like Bell reveals, sexism is a way of thinking that many men would deny having any connection with domestic violence. It is a difficult connection for men to make, because “it requires challenging and changing fundamental ways of thinking about gender.”
In addition, however, Bell mentions that feminist thinkers often reveal themselves as the main and only victim of domestic violence, yet Bell counters this by explaining that domestic violence also deals with children. Children become victims of assault by adults or are led to witness these harsh confrontations. This is as much of a problem as violence inflicted on to women. Children who witness domestic violence, after they are led to believe that their parents only want the best for them, may reveal signs of fear, guilt, shame, sadness, etc. These signs may follow them through their whole life and can result in them getting involve in domestic violence with their partners. Therefore, domestic violence, or patriarchal violence, is not limited to violence between males and females, but also includes children witnessing this form of violence.
Some effects can be seen as early as infancy: one-year-olds who have been exposed to domestic violence are more disturbed than other babies when they hear adults arguing.
However difficult it seems, sexism and this one sided view of domestic violence need to be challenged along with patriarchal violence in order to end thi0s form of violence between males and females, same-sex partners, and parent with their children. Bell provides an insights on the issues that make domestic violence, or patriarchal violence, difficult. She explains how feminist thinkers often portray themselves as the main victims in domestic violence without including violence inflicted on children. Also, Bell explains how this sexism idea that many men have, is an idea difficult to challenge as it would leave men to question how they are to behave in their gender. It is an arduous topic, in general, to end as there are many ideas, beliefs, experiences, and cultures that alter the roots of domestic violence.
