Female and Mexican.
There is not a day that goes by that I do not hear my grandma’s voice in my head. I can hear her small voice in the distance saying, “Ya estás vieja, ¿porqué no tienes un esposo o hijos?” “You are old already, why don’t you have a husband or kids?” Making me wake up everyday feeling the pressure of living up to the Mexican culture standards of an ideal Mexican woman.
What are those standards one might ask? Well I can simply put it as, a woman who is a housewife with more than four kids, no job, and little schooling, relying on and giving control to mainly the man for everything. These are the standards that many women in the Mexican culture seem to follow. They sell themselves short of a successful life because they don’t want to be a disappointment. It is already a struggle to be of Mexican descent living in the American culture, but even a bigger struggle being Mexican descent in a Mexican culture.
“How does it feel to be a problem?” - W.E.B. Du Bois
The problem occurs right when the mexican female decides to become something of herself, and steers away from the tradition of being that ‘ideal Mexican woman.’ The feeling of knowing you’re the problem is never a feeling that sits well in your stomach. Not only have I experienced this myself, but as time goes on, I am not the only Mexican woman that has struggled with trying to keep the family culture happy with its traditions.
Mexican women are easily frowned upon if they decide to educate themselves for the better of not only their future but for the gaining of more knowledge. A Latina attorney that goes by the name of Josefa stated that, “One of her greatest personal challenges has been with her traditional Latino family stating it has been very difficult “to be taken seriously . . . being taken seriously that this was my career choice and that I would be good at it.” I, as well as many other Mexican women would say this quote represents the view from our families eyes every day. When you take the time to present to your family the ideas and goals you have set for yourself rather than the goals and ideas they have set for you, you are viewed as a woman of disrespect and disgrace. Once you let these two words sink in, it leaves you asking yourself one question…
Why did God make me an outcast and a stranger in mine own house?- W.E.B. Du Bois
The answer to this question will never be clear. However, what is clear and understood is that not all Mexican women are striving to be that “ideal Mexican woman’ any longer. Because of all the struggles they have seen the women in their family go through, they are deciding to take the other route. The route of being successful by going to school, traveling, actually getting to know themselves, most importantly being independent, and simply living life to the fullest.
Not saying I or these Mexican women will never be housewives with kids and a husband, but for now that is not our main priority. The main priority is to show our family and culture that it is an amazing experience and inspirational movement when one Mexican woman is successful and does it for her culture. We see things different than the traditions that are put upon us because we know there is so much opportunity to become something great. We as Mexican women want to break those sterotypes by being different. Regardless of the dirty looks, disrespect, or shamefulness our families or culture may give us, we know when we achieve what we set for ourselves, they are going to be orgullosos y felices. Nothing but happy and proud screaming, “¡Arriba por las mujeres Mexicanas muy CHINGONAS! Big ups to the most badass Mexican women!”
