Mexican American or Chicano, Does it matter?
It was a nice Thursday Morning and I was waiting for the Metro Rapid at a bus stop in the Los Angeles area. This particular day was like any other with the exception that I was very glad my school week was almost over. As I sat waiting on the bus stop bench, two men sat next to me. These men- one possibly in his 30’s and the other much older resembled what has come to be conceptualized as stereotypical ‘’Cholos’’ or “gangsters”, for lack of a better word. They were both dressed in dark colored hoodies and over-sized jeans and white sneakers, both of them with shaved heads and prison-like tattoos. The older man was blasting music on his phone while drinking a Bud Light (yes, at the bus stop at 10 in the morning).
A few minutes later, the bus finally arrived and I boarded along with these two men. The front of the bus was crowded per usual so I made my way to the back of the bus which was surprisingly empty, the men followed. As I sat down I heard the younger male say to the older male ‘’Ah, you’re still listening to that wetback music’’, to this, the older male responded by saying ‘’Shut up! You’re Mexican too’’, then he caught my gaze as I watched in amazement and said ‘’That’s a Chicano for you’’. I quickly nodded in disagreement and without much thinking and seemingly full of anger acclaimed ‘’ I was born and raised here but I still consider myself Mexican!’’.
The men soon arrived to their destination and exited the bus, but I still sat there in deep thought. I really could not believe what I had just experienced. My sudden and unconscious reaction revealed to me more than just feelings of anger and amazement but it also made me think about how I identify myself in terms of my ethnicity/ nationality and how it affects the way people perceive me.
The terms ethnicity, nationality and culture are often used interchangeably, but the reality is that they are three different components which together influence an individuals cultural identity. The concept of ethnicity is defined as a social group’s distinct sense of belonging as a result of common culture and descent. On the other hand, a person’s nationality is commonly referred to as their country of birth. For example I was born in the U.S. to Mexican parents so my nationality is American, while my culture and ethnicity is Mexican. Culture being the set of attitudes, values, beliefs and norms that are shared within a group and are transmitted across generations (Organista, 2010). The fact that I’m Mexican American has influenced my life in both positive and negative ways because sometimes I feel like I don’t perfectly embody my American identity.
The term Double Consciousness, was coined by W.E.B Du Bois in his 1903 publication titled “The Souls of Black Folk”. Double consciousness, as explained by Du Bois, describes the individual sensation of feeling as though ones identity is divided into several parts, making it difficult or even impossible to have one unified identity. Du Bois spoke of this within the context of race relations in the United States of America. He asserted that since American blacks have lived in a society that has historically repressed and devalued them, it has become difficult for them to unify their black identity with their American identity. Du Bois states that, “It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity.” Here Du Bois illustrates how minorities, such as myself wrongfully evaluate our sense of identity, through the eyes of the majority.
“It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity.”
As a Mexican-American I have always felt as though I’m not entirely Mexican or entirely American. I can really relate to how Du Bois conceptualized the term double consciousness because at many points in my life I have felt the struggle of reconciling my identity as a brown girl and an American citizen. Many people have asked me if I identify with the term “CHICANO” and i always respond that I do not, this of course enrages some people but i believe that the term Chicano is extremely restricting. I do not consider myself Chicano , Mexican or American, I’M MEXICAN-AMERICAN.
This short scene from the 1997 movie Selena illustrates hows it’s like to be Mexican American in the United States:
