Private Rape
There is a private matter that happens in many homes throughout the world. Domestic abuse, whether violence or sexual, is the reality and a constant threat in many homes. My focus are not the spouses, but on the children in the home. This home based abuse against children has been kept hidden long enough. Sexual abuse in homes is the terror many young children, especially young children face.
The fact is we stray away from the topic due to its privatize state. When we think “private” we seem to mind our own business and look away. In United States, we protected and prefer the “private”. When we think about our homes it tends to be our image of safety, but that image seems to be an illusion for many. Many individuals, especially children, are brought up to never talk about the private matters regarding the home. Parents teach their children the appropriate subjects to talk and not talk about.
The home is a private institution that serves as our fountain of knowledge and life. What we learn in this private institution is at the power of the household leader. Our head of house hold and home acts like a government. They use their authority to control their private institution and reinforces their power.
Children are vulnerable and docile to the leader and their rules. They blindly follow their authoritative parents/guardians because that is what they are taught. Whether children are taught rightfully depends on the home and the parents in charge, but it can take a child down a horrid path if it’s the wrong one.
As a female in her mid twenties, I am flabbergasted at the amount of people I have encounter that have been victims of patriarchal rape within their very home. I have met men, women, and children that have lived in this private nightmare and have endured things that no one should ever endure.
I often wondered why speaking about this is so taboo? Why do many see this as a private matter? My heart wrenches when I simply just ask “why”.
Many of these victims of patriarchal rape are typically female, but there are male. Typically if there are several siblings, it is likely more than one child will experience some sort of patriarchal abuse. When I say “patriarchal” I mean the men in the home, whether father, uncle, cousin, or any other male family member.
Patriarchal violence outside the home is a constant threat as well because we live in a violent and rape culture. Our school institutions, our government institutions like the army, our homes, our music industries, our ideological state institutions are all at risk. The popculture and media naturalizes patriarchal violence and rape on a daily basis. It is no wonder as to why it has seeped into our homes and onto our children. It also explains as to why victims remain silent, when we are exposed to it every time we blink.
The nation and the home mirror each other with the violence in the nation. The sexual violence against women and children seems to never end. The reality of our rape culture is everywhere. Men are commonly the perpetrators that prey on others for power. The image of the masculine male has long filled society with this role since the time of Darwin. Male dominance knows no limits when searching for their role in the world.
“Men are socialized by ruling-class groups of men to accept domination in the public world of work and to believe that the private world of home and intimate relationships will restore to them the sense of power they equate with masculinity.” -Bell Hooks
Patriarchal rape is just another form of power through violence. A power that effectively works to creates ultimate submissiveness through fear to create docile and vulnerable bodies. Men must reinforce patriarchal power and domination through their homes and their government.
Our path to freedom and equality lies in speaking against theses abusive patriarchal private institutions. We must break the mold of obedient, docile bodies. Fighting against the home abuse and state abuse will gradually change our environment for the better and challenge everyday injustices.
Unfortunately, human beings have evolved into a civilized manner, but continue to embrace their aggressive, animalistic ways for territory and power. We live in a sexist society that creates weak and docile beings due to their very own insecurities. Patriarchal rape is the consequence of a much bigger picture. It is a clear representation of how males view, treat, and value women and children. Taking control of our bodies and breaking the silence may be the only realistic tactic to challenge theses private oppressive states.
To my friends, family, acquaintances and the children I have worked with, I thank you for breaking your silence.
Further reading Bell Hooks Feminism is for Everbody https://excoradfeminisms.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/bell_hooks-feminism_is_for_everybody.pdf
