Why may it be a norm for certain phrases?

For the readers out there, this is my background. I was born and raised in Long Beach, the east side of Long Beach to be exact. I lived on the same block for 20 years. My neighborhood or “Block” was considered to be dangerous. Growing up, we had the occasional drive-by on the block and people dealing around the corner. For me I grew up around the gang violence and the music always playing was hip-hop.

Did you smash that? Did you hit that? Did you fuck that? Did you bang that?

For most who grew up in the “ghetto’s” or hood. It seems like a normal everyday saying heard. As a child playing outside, I would always hear these phrases from the young adults and adults. Not knowing what it meant, I continued on just playing. It wasn’t till I was a freshman. When I was asked the question “did you smash that?” from a friend who saw me talking to a girl, to which I responded no, and that we are just friends.

Hearing that question being asked to me felt just like any normal question being asked. I would say the reason why it felt like a normal question was because of how I always heard it when growing up. Listening to music from Hip Hop artists like NWA, Naughty by Nature, Snoop Dogg, 2pac, Notorious B.I.G and ect… The media plays a huge roll when it comes to having these phrases treated like an everyday norm.

I would have to admit to being guilty, in that I have asked a friend “Did you smash that?” or “Did you hit that?” It felt normal for me; I didn’t feel it was sexist. But through taking gender courses in college, I’ve learned how others feel about these phrases. Some felt using these phrases was a normal and that they too heard them while growing up. Others, however were offended by the phrases and would then explain how they feel if someone were to ask them those kind of questions.

One thing that comes to mind, is whether or not the locale where a person grow up affects the reason why certain things feel normal. Such as, a person growing up in South Orange County, compared to those who grew up in Compton, Long Beach, East Los Angeles, and South Central. Can the environment that we are expose to play a factor?

One way we can prevent the use of these phrases, is by acknowledging the damage they can cause and ceasing to use the phrase ourselves. So that the younger generation(s) around us won’t use them.