A Bandage Fixes Nothing

As much as we all wish we could take them back, our mistakes happened, and they can never un-happen. They may never be forgotten, and even with an apology, they may not be forgiven. If you punch your sister, and her arm breaks, there is nothing you can do to un-break her arm. It’s broken. You can apologize. You can take her to the hospital and get her x-rays and a cast. You can bring her balloons, but her arm will still be broken. What should you do? Wait. Eventually, the bone will probably heal if she treats it right. Likewise, her trust may not (and probably ought not) immediately return upon your apologizing (no matter how sorry you are). Your apologies, like a bandage or cast, heals absolutely nothing. She is doing the healing, and those other things help. With time, you might earn that trust back by acting correctly, by respecting her, but she may not.

She may never forgive you. She may never trust you again (which is different than forgiving you). She might do both, but absolutely cannot force her to trust you or forgive you from the power of your sorriness. Give her space. Give her time. Give her respect in the way that she needs respect. The ball is in her court, not yours.

PS, one resource for how to apologize is here: https://youtu.be/qc_XWlqURTg

I’m starting to realize how much the vlogbrothers affect the way I think by how much I link to them on this blog…