Discretion
Admittedly, discretion has in no society been a universal virtue. But as with many virtues, it can be uniquely untaught by the anonymity of the internet. *Insert obligatory comment about how I don’t hate the internet.* Using Reddit and Google, you can ask any question to an army of strangers, and someone will answer you. Taboos are corroded. Sometimes we get our first practice at asking hard questions tactfully through the mask of the web.
But I wonder if we begin to think that any subject, if handled well, may be broached to anyone, anywhere, anytime?
If we ask nicely, can we ask our acquaintance the scoop about their messy breakup?
May gross health issues be discussed in public?
I hope that this little post is more of a question than a statement of opinion. I recently saw a video of women discussing their menstrual cycles in public, and some nearby men asking them to stop. I’ve talked about menstruation with my friends. I think most women do. The video was made with the idea that, because there is nothing wrong with our cycle (it is natural and important), no one should be offended by it.
It was a shout-down.
An I’m-right-you-suck.
And that seems like a poor approach to an appeal for discretion.
Now my post isn’t, and shouldn’t be about when to have discretion or on which topics, but rather whether it still has a place. People will always disagree about where to draw the line, and I think that’s alright. I, for instance, disagree with the men in that video. There are two sides that have a point. One states that if a thing is alright, then it is alright in public. Things we talk about, things we see, and things we do. If the thing isn’t wrong, then why shield people from it? The other side of the coin is that there are many things which I very much think people should do, that I likewise don’t want to see, even in passing or on accident. This is why we have doors on bathrooms. There are things that I’m glad exist that I don’t want to see, like spiders. There are conversations that should happen that I don’t think I should be privy to. Is it wrong to request discretion? Is that a crime now?
I just wonder if taboos aren’t gone at all.
I wonder if a plea for discretion is taboo.
I wonder if we only listen to voices that are loud and extreme.
I wonder if we lose the moderate and the discrete.
I wonder if it matters.
