Finding a Professional Mentor
I recently met a friend/former co-worker for happy hour and as we were sharing stories about our current workplaces, she began telling me about one of her colleagues and how the woman had undertaken an initiative that was strikingly similar to something I had recently done. The more my friend described this woman and her accomplishments, the more I focused on how much I wanted to meet her and pick her brain. As a young professional in the field of HR, a field generally described by some as boring or non-glamorous, it is somewhat difficult to find connections that are as interested in the future of HR and employee engagement and as psyched as I am when I read or talk about these things. This was my moment, I had identified a mentor for myself I hadn’t even met yet– now what?
To many of us, approaching someone and asking them to help our personal development seems like a daunting challenge, here are some tips for making it happen.
1. Mentoring doesn’t have to mean what you think it means
There are many forms someone can take as a “mentor” — an experienced coach already established in your field, a colleague that you admire the work style of, a professional in your similar role doing great things you’d like to learn from. It doesn’t really matter what “step” in their career they are at. If you identify someone you value the wisdom and experience of, young or old, then they’re probably at least worth talking to. Your own career and professional outlook could be bettered by meeting with them and hashing out your ideas and plans. Doesn’t have to be an extremely formal connection, or one that spans years, play it by ear based on your mutual conversational and working styles.
2. Start small
Maybe there is someone at your current workplace whose job you’d be interested in a few years. Maybe you met someone at a recent networking event that works at your dream company or is in your dream role. Chances are, people that are already in your network somehow, be it current employer or in similar professional circles, is bound to be open to having general discussions, if not informal chats with you about careers. Always look to your current connections and circles first, you may realize that there is someone you already have a good report with whose opinion you could leverage.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask
Honestly, what is the worst that could happen? Why are we so afraid of this? You send a quick email, you don’t hear back or you get a polite “no” — ok, on to the next. There is no shame in stepping out of your comfort zone and taking the initiative. Some of my best professional relationships at my current company were spawned from me taking that extra step to learn more about the person or how they got there. Many established professionals have been in your same shoes and done the exact same thing, so often times, as long as you are asking in a professional manner and within the realm of reason (i.e. no “Can we meet for lunch at the Met, your treat?”).
4. Be clear, be ready
Make sure, before you reach out to someone, that you have spent the time clearly aligning what you’re interested in learning and why you’ve come to them. Nothing cuts a networking coffee meetup shorter than having absolutely nothing to talk about. You identified this person, you took the initiative and reached out, and now you got them here- what do you want to know? Why do you admire what they’ve done? What are you hoping to accomplish that they can advise on? It sounds hokey, but writing down a list of questions or statements of purpose for your conversation could save you from some awkward silence and unproductive meetup time.
For me, I eventually did ask to be connected with my friend’s colleague, and after a few emails she invited me to a professional event she was hosting and I learned some valuable insights on wellness event planning from her. I promise, it wasn’t as daunting or nerve-wracking as it may sound. Again, she could have said no, she could have ignored the email, but hey, she didn’t, we spoke a few times, and now I’ve learned something valuable that will help me in the future.
Don’t be afraid to take that first step, there are some really smart, experienced, innovative people out there, and it could only better your own professional outlook to learn from them.
