PCD: Is This Thing Even Real?
PCD stands for Post Concert Depression. Have you heard about it?
If you ever attended a concert, in my case, a K-pop concert, you maybe have experienced it. K-pop concerts are always seen as a war zone, with bunch of armies. Those armies are enthusiastic fangirls with their hairband decorated with their favorite member’s name, or those who are crying their heart out when they see their favorite member notice them for the first time in such a close gap. They’re normal, and I’ve been a fangirl for years.
I began to watch concerts since I was in my second grade in high school, around 2015. My first concert was GOT7’s fanmeeting in Jakarta. For those who don’t know, a fan meeting and a concert are different because the former involves fewer songs and more fan service to enjoy, while the latter is the opposite.
On June 30th, I finally got the chance to see the loves of my life: GOT7, my favorite boy band from South Korea. The day started early, I was awake around 5 AM and was ready around 8 to see my friend that I’ve never get to see even though we have known each other for almost three years.
That day basically flashed by; I finished doing my business with my friends at noon and I went to the concert venue in ICE BSD. After I arrived at the venue I tried to find all of my internet friends; unfortunately, I didn’t see all of them but I managed to meet and take pictures with a few. Thinking about the meetings with them is quite bittersweet, because the concert might be the only chance for us to see each other.
At around 2 PM, I went inside to the holding area in Hall 6 and waited for three hours to get inside the concert hall. It was such a new experience for me, because from my previous experiences, I was always in the seated zone and this was the first time I braced myself to see them in the standing area. After I got inside the concert hall, I was beyond excited. A year and a half of anticipation and excitement culminated in meeting all of my friends, and the concert itself made the entire event deeply emotional.
Truthfully, I didn’t get the closest area from the stage because I was tight on money. I used this trip to forgive myself for my failure last year: not getting into my dream college. To put it simply, I was blaming myself for it and I stopped to really pay attention to myself. This trip was my sweet escape from a deep feeling of regret that I couldn’t shake.
Anyway, I forgot about the set list songs because most of them are my favorite songs and I could sing along without looking at the lyrics “cheat sheet”— but the one that I’ll remember until I die was when they performed their fan song “Thank You” with the fans as their backup vocal as well as “You Are,” because Jaebum’s voice simply mesmerized me. Even though 2018 isn’t over, that night will be the highlight of the year. When they announced they were going to do an encore and started to speak goodbyes, I tried so hard not to cry — and it worked because they burst into a dance club song so I was carried away by the excitement.
At midnight after I returned to the hotel, it didn’t feel real. It was my fourth time, but I still felt starstruck. Every GOT7 member was professional even though they were tired. Every member was so handsome, I might say. Every member sang their best. Every member would definitely have good memories in Indonesia because they performed so well in front of their fans.
The morning after the concert, I woke up with a strange feeling. I felt neither happy nor sad; I just didn’t want it to end. I wanted my everyday life to be just like this.
I guess I was having PCD. (I don’t know if such a thing even exists.) I feel like I want to cry but I don’t know whether it’s because I’m sad or because I’m happy. I promised myself not to cry after meeting GOT7 but I guess I was wrong. I shed a few tears because I just met them a few days ago, but I didn’t feel it like it was real. What makes me sadder is that I think it’s just another day at work for them, but it’s such a memorable day for my entire life. I think it’s normal to feel like this, but is crying after seeing them for the fourth time normal?
Nevertheless, it was so fun. I had a short break from my messy life. I finally understood that attending concerts was the best way for me to release my stress even though I had prepared this with all of my effort, money, and energy since February—all for just one night. But what a ride it was.
I won’t overcome this case of PCD for quite some time. Those of you who’ve experienced PCD after an amazing concert, I feel you: we’re on the same boat.
