Prom is Overrated
PROM — the penultimate high school rite of passage. It’s your last chance to see everyone and have a good time before graduation, where there will inevitably be stale celebratory cupcakes and awkward “age-appropriate” conversations amidst swarms of parents.
I was that girl once — feeding into the trivial media-propelled prom frenzy. I’d spend hours poring over makeup tutorials, fingering elegant ball gowns at the mall, and visualizing how the festivities would potentially play out. I wanted my date to be enviable eye candy. I wanted a huge obnoxious public promposal in front of the whole school. I wanted an expensive dress. I wanted perfect makeup, hair, and nails. I wanted to look better than everyone else in my photos. I wanted other people to be jealous of my spotlight. I wanted, I wanted, I wanted. (Don’t worry: publicizing all of this makes me internally cringe too.)
From day one of existence, the media conditions us to worry about prom, prom, prom. You see it on TV when those fickle high school dramas air. (You know, those shows where they cast actors who look 30 to portray high school students.) You read it in young adult books. (I’m personally guilty of Prom and Prejudice, Princess in Pink, and Perfectly Dateless.) And you might say, “That’s easy! Just stay away from that trash.” Well, when you’re in the eighth grade and you’ve taken it upon yourself to do some research about high school life, these sources of media are pretty much unavoidable.
The more I think about it, the more pissed off I feel. Brainwashing kids like that? It’s messed up. Kids who can’t afford expensive trendy clothes feel self-conscious and embarrassed. Not having a date to prom equates to social suicide. They feel unwanted, unpopular, and discouraged from going to prom. Girls who don’t get elaborate promposals feel inadequate and undervalued. Boys feel pressured into blowing all their allowance or minimum wage earnings on said elaborate promposals. And there’s that pressure on everyone to do it after prom is over.
No, no, no, no, no, no, NO. Don’t let what you think other people think or expect of you influence your self-worth. But if getting ready and feeling hyped for an event is something you’re into, then you deserve to have fun your way. Just keep in mind that your value is not determined by how designer your dress is or how hot a date you can snag. Prom really shouldn’t be the defining moment of your entire high school experience. If it’s not what you expect it to be, just let it go. It’s not worth it to let a tiny mishap blemish your entire high school experience.
The photos, the material things—none of it matters in the long run. And spending all that time freaking about those material things that ultimately contribute nothing to your life (and frankly just make you more anxious than happy) is pretty toxic. Remember that prom is insignificant compared to the other milestones you’ll reach in life.
As a high school senior now, I don’t feel the hype anymore. All I really want is to have fun. I’m going with my best friend, who beat me to the punch by promposing first in a private and thoughtful way. But I know I wouldn’t have minded going without a date because I would have been surrounded by friends anyway. I’m doing my own makeup, wearing my sister’s decade-old prom dress, and borrowing my mom’s sparkly high heels — but not because I can’t afford going all out for prom. It’s just that I don’t see the need to be wasteful when I know I don’t need all that excess stuff to have a good time.
So screw anyone who tells you that you need to take a date. Screw anyone who pressures you to ask someone. Screw anyone who makes you feel bad for going alone. Screw anyone who judges if you’re a girl and you want to ask a boy. Screw anyone who judges if you’re a boy and you want to ask a boy. And finally, don’t screw anyone if you don’t want to. Do what makes you feel comfortable, confident, and happy. You do you. Just don’t forget to have fun!
