Texting Peeves

Texting is just an innocuous form of communication to deepen people’s relationships … right? Not quite. Here is a list of irritating texting habits people have that make me ‘read’* them:

*read: opening a message and deliberately ignoring it

1. Using noncommittal, minimal responses

a. ‘k’
Honestly, is it really that much harder to type “okay” or even “ok”? The worst is when I meticulously type out a whole paragraph detailing every specific point, and you get a ‘k.’ Am I boring you?

b. ‘y’
Listen here. I believe you are asking me a question. And I have an answer to your question, and yet I do not get a word. All I’m looking for is a word, not even a sentence.

c. ‘mhm’
What do you even mean? Is that a thinking ‘mhm’? Is that a I-see-you-but-you-don’t-deserve-a-response ‘mhm’? If you can’t think of anything to say, just give me an emoticon.

d. ‘ty’ or ‘thx’
Wow I did something for you and you’re repaying me with ‘ty’/’thx.’ What is this? An obligatory thanks? I’m so impressed with your sincerity. Thx for the effort. HOWEVER, if you use ‘tyyy’ or ‘thxxx,’ essentially an enthusiastic variant form of the abbreviated thanks, then using the abbreviation is absolutely okay.

Exception: using these responses sarcastically to reply to less intelligent texts

2. Using number abbreviations

• “gr8!” for “Great!”
• “88” for “bye bye”
• “some1” for “someone”
• “g2g” for “got to go” (if you must, ‘gtg’ is a better choice)

Excuse me. I’m not here for math class. When I see numbers, I expect to be doing calculations. Why are you confusing me with numbers?

3. Repeatedly messaging me without getting to the point

• “u thr?” *5 mins later* “u thrr???” *10 mins later* “r u thr????”
• “Claire” *2 secs later* “Claire” “clairee” “claireeeeee!!!”

Bruh, I see you and can you get to your point without me prompting you? I want to see what you want before pretending I didn’t see your message. Now I’m frustrated because I’m waiting for your point.

4. Saying ‘brb’ without coming back

There is a variant of ‘brb’ that says you are not coming back. It’s called ‘gtg.’ Use it if you are leaving. I’m pretty sure ‘brb’ means be right back, which denotes that you will message me again when you are less busy. I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me ‘brb,’ in the back of my mind I take note and I don’t go offline.

5. When people are obviously there but take an eternity to reply.

Hey, you just replied to me and now you’re just gone. And I asked you a question too, so it’s not like you don’t have any thing to say. Thirty minutes later, you come back with a “Oops, I was out.” I was waiting for your answer for thirty minutes. I am not a puppy for you to pet when you feel like it. Can’t you at least warn me if you’re going to take a while to reply?