Why I procrastinate
Sometimes, it’s more than sheer laziness.
I am probably one of the biggest procrastinators I have ever met (and if you meet me, one of the biggest procrastinators you will have ever met). It’s almost the end of spring break, and I have barely touched my mountain of homework due this coming Monday. After a week of relaxing when I should have been studying, I have come to realize that my chronic procrastination may perhaps be a little more than the fruits of my utter laziness.
First of all, I would like to point out that I am a nitpicky, hard-to-please perfectionist. Everything I do must be perfect, and when I make a mistake (which I do often), I’m frustrated and I don’t want to do it. I leave it until later, when I’ve grown older, become more mature, and try it again. When I mess up the next time, I repeat the process.
Naturally, the combination of my perfectionism and my sloth confine me to a state of perpetual procrastination. As one of my good friends told me, “Procrastinator? No. I just wait until the last second to do my work because I will be older, therefore wiser.”
I find that this forces me to live in the future rather than in the present. I envision that the future me is better than the now me. Someone who will speak up in class because I’m afraid to now, someone who won’t be afraid to break social norms because I’m awkward now, someone who will be the version of me I want to be, but I’m limited somehow at this very moment from being that person.
That future me is the person who won’t procrastinate because she will be perfect and able to do whatever she wants correctly the first time. So now me doesn’t have to worry about it because she’s lazy and incompetent.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from procrastinating my way through the most academically rigorous year in my life, it’s that doing my homework every day at 2 a.m. does not result in better quality than if I do it at 4 p.m. I know this sounds ridiculous (no duh, you’re not going to be magically smarter in 10 hours), but hear me out. In some cases, it doesn’t really seem that out of reach.
“I’m skipping prom now to study for my AP test so I can get into a good college!”
“I’m missing out on parties and social events in college so I can get a good job when I graduate!”
“I’d rather work a boring 9-to-5 office job rather than pursue my passions so I can become financially stable for retirement!”
What do all of these have in common? You’re sacrificing your present for the future, which is neither predictable nor guaranteed. What’s guaranteed is the now, which is what you’re wasting.
Now, I’m not giving you an excuse to slack off, because preparation is also key to security. It’s a gratifying feeling to experience the results you worked so hard for. But don’t focus so much on something that doesn’t yet exist; enjoy life as it is right now.
The present is a gift. Make use of it wisely while you can.
So for me, that means finishing my homework before I pull an all-nighter on Sunday.
