Book Review | Building Resilience from Series of Adversity
Enjoying your present because we never know what is going to happen in the next moment.
I read Option B recently which was recommended by Female Power SV who has worked in cut throat Silicon Valley for about 10 years. There are two reasons why this book attracts me at my first glimpse. Initially, I just want to challenge myself to read an English book, which is not my native language. The headline of this book is quite simple that makes me curious about what kind of Option B it may be? On the other hand, as a student who major in Journalism and Communication, or as a human being, I think it is necessary for me to read a variety of books to have a different perspective to judge things.
Despite the fact that I am not proficient in English writing, it is good for me to write some reviews and try to use vocabulary more precisely and accurately, not only to train myself, but also to share my reflection with you.
Option B was written by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant and published in 2017. Sheryl is chief operating officer at Facebook. She wrote another book Lean In in 2013 which is one of the best-selling books in the New York Times. On the other hand, Adam is a psychologist and the New York Times best-selling author of Originals and Give and Take.
Overall, the book teaches readers how to face adversities, such as being diagnosed cancer, losing an important family member, or suffering sexual abuse, and provides advice to help people rebuild their lives and to love and laugh again. With plenty of life stories shared by the author, Sheryl, I realised that everything is possible, since hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. For instance, children and pets often play an essential role to give adults a strong support.
Starting from the sudden death of Sheryl’s husband, she felt certain she and her children would never be happy again. She worried that her children would grow up without a father, she would no longer have a chance to discuss the problem and make decisions with her husband before bedtime. She mentioned several people she met and interviewed, including the survivors of assault, sexual abuse, soldiers, and so on. In my opinion, perhaps people can understand what the tragedy feels like only when they suffer it.
Recently, one of my best friend’s father passed away, which let me recall my aunt who left us because of the bone neoplasm when I was in senior high. With the deepest grief and sadness, I don’t know what I can do for my friend. Sheryl mentioned in a book that there are two different emotional responses to the pain of others: empathy, which motivates to help, and distress, which motivates people to avoid the tragedy. I think most of people tend to choose the last one. I am afraid that if I said the wrong thing, it would make my friend more painful.
Although tragedy can make people have difficulty trusting people, tragedy can also motivate people to develop new and deeper relationships, which can fortify the bonds between people and drive people to build stronger connections. Most examples in this book showed that people can recover from adversities when they join groups and meet others who have similar experiences.
To fight for change tomorrow we need to build resilience today.
A psychologist Martin Seligman found that three P’s can stunt recovery: personalisation, pervasiveness and permanence. Personalisation, the belief that we are at fault. Pervasiveness, the belief that an event will affect all areas in our life. Permanence, the belief that there is no possibility to recover and the trauma is permanent. Recognising that negative events are not personal, pervasive, or permanent makes people less likely to get depressed and better able to cope.
After reading Option B, I learned life lessons from different stories. All of us may encounter adversities in an unpredictable future. After all, every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. The story made me cherish more about every person in my surroundings, a group of people always give me spiritual support and advices. Just as Sheryl said, “Even when you’re in the darkest hours you can stay hopeful. That’s the thing about faith. It helps you know that sooner or later this too shall pass.” I believe that people will become stronger when they try to seek solutions to seeming roadblocks or dead ends.
Afterword
A few days after I read Option B, I received an email which was automatically sent by TED Recommends. The video they recommended me was the speech delivered by Adam Grant, and the topic was ‘Are you a giver or a taker?’. I was surprised when I saw the mail because I had seen this video which impressed me, but I didn’t notice the speaker at that time. I read the book he wrote and his video coincidentally. I think I really admire this person who keeps delivering positive thoughts and experiences to the public.
If you are curious about Option B and Adam’s TED Talk speech I mentioned before, here is the further information.
