“Dude, what on Earth are you talking about?”
How many times did you hear that today`s kids are incapable of paying attention, have poor listening skills and they do not follow instructions?
I met teachers, educators and many parents over the last ten years, all exhausted about trying different methods to grab the attention of their kids and students.
I red books and articles about how to make kids listen and follow instructions and met people who applied different educational models, with not much or long term success.
Adults get so frustrated over time and kids do too!
It is frustrating when you see all these eyes, looking at you and having the same question in their eyes:
“Dude, what are you saying?”
Your frustration goes to the roof, like: what`s wrong I speak plain English, what is that they do not understand?”
And frustration is the root of ever-growing fear and fear builds conflict.
Kids become unresponsive, it seems as they look over us and just do what they think they have to do.
With time, communication stops, and silence takes all over…parents are not talking anymore to their kids, educators burn out under the pressure from the parents, and responsibility to educate…kids feel neglected…and when communication stops it builds up tension and tension brings to stress and anger.
This was my observation in schools, in families and watching parents and kids together in everyday life situations, and educators in schools.
What is happening?
Kids do want to learn, they love exploring new things and they do love our attention.
Especially today`s generation: they are looking for instant gratification!
I saw kids coming into schools smiling and willing to learn.
I saw them smiling and entering the classroom happy and excited!
They were ready to listen and learn.
But when the teacher starts talking, in the following 2 minutes they completely lost interest and start playing, talking and disrupting the class.
What is happening?- I asked myself over and over in the long hours of observation.
Even teachers that brought in playfulness and fun in the teaching process, were losing their student's attention after the first 3–4 sentences they tried to explain the most simple things.
I could not accept either, the idea that all these kids are having ADHD and other disorders. It was never before such a high number of students that would be diagnosed with so many learning deficiencies in human history!
Most of the students get “labeled” to easily, and the truth is that in most of the cases they are just bored or ignored and they are just looking for attention.
So, why they do not pay attention to us?
One day I was observing a very interesting workshop for kids and there was the same: the teacher was explaining what will be going to happen and even though that all kids came in looking interested, smiling, excited… after a few minutes, they become distracted and looked bored.
As I was observing them I noticed that they all sit and look at the teacher but in the same time I could see that they were transmitting a desperate message: “Dude, what on earth are you talking about?”
The teacher was explaining simple facts in everyday words, taking time to stop and making sure that all kids understand and follow.
Despite trying to keep a continuous connection, she was losing the attention of more and more kids!
At that moment I suddenly got the message: kids do not understand our BODY LANGUAGE!
We all know that 70–80% of our communication is the body language and only the remaining percentage is words!
So I started observing different age groups and situations in school, workshops, families on the streets, playgrounds…and it all seemed to be the same.
After every observation, I was more and more convinced!
Our body language is OUTDATED!
Our body language reflects the era that we had to grow up, the words that we say are reflecting the way we interpreted the words, the emotions and feelings that we had at that time, before technology entered at full force in our lives!
Most of teachers and educators were born before 2000, before the technology started to flee into our lives, bringing new words, languages and changing the speed of our everyday life.
The kids that we have today up to high school they only understand one world and one language: the world and expression after 2000, filled with technology!
This is why is more easy for them to communicate in messages and writing: they cut out this way the confusing body language!
So, when they listen to us they hear the words, but our body language is confusing them. They do not have listening deficiencies, they simply are confused!
They hear the words, but they are confused about the “body language” they see.
I experimented step by step:
Kindergarten and primary kids respond the best when they can experiment and learn through senses and movement.
Middle schoolers love to use computers to read more and they enjoy anything written and transmitted this way, and also love video tutorials, that are not longer than 3- 4 minutes.
So, the question is: do we need to stop teaching them by speaking and lecturing, as we did it in the last 100 years?
YES!
So do this generation need parents, teachers anymore? Is there anything that we can still teach them?
Do not panic! They still need us, but we need to “reposition” ourselves!
I truly know that today teachers have to become facilitators that have the role of keeping the educational process in flow, but allowing the students to learn the way they understand better. using technology for research and getting information.
Educators need to facilitate the process of learning.
We need to understand and accept: we are not anymore the only source of knowledge.
The students of today are bombarded with information. They do not need more information, told from the perspective of a person that has been born in the industrial age or even earlier.
They all have the information, all they need is a facilitator that keeps them on track, follow up and most of all reassure them every second that they are doing the right thing.
Allow them to express themselves, let them explain to us what they understand and guide them towards the right answers.
The era of teaching has ended.
We need to accept: we are in the era of knowledge!
I only got to understand today, what I read 6 years ago in the “12 Elements of the Winner Matrix” book, written by a truly “gamechanger”.
He said: we need to step back from the front of the classroom from speaking and demanding kids to listen and move to the back of the classroom to facilitate and guide the flowing of information.
So what is the solution?
Educators, stop standing in the front of the classroom but instead try to ask questions and allow the students to come up with their solution, support the process and celebrate the learning.
Parents, stop the preaching, and ask questions and start listening, learn to be supportive. Do not be control freaks, you can`t control a generation that has the freedom of the fourth dimension that is the internet. Not even by banning them in your homes!
Build trust and collaboration, that is the only way to keep it safe!
Kids today have more knowledge than us in many areas, but what they do not have is the experience.
Let them find and interpret the information, and share with them your experience. Support the process of learning instead of demanding them to learn from you.
Step back and guide!
Soon you will notice the smile in the eyes and you will be able to read the message:
“ Now, I got it, dude, I got it!”
Let me know your thoughts and share with us your experience!
