Rock God
A poem about finding a resolution to an unsatisfactory liaison when they reach out after ten months of no contact.
Rock God
There is no such thing
Just a bit of fun
To let you know that
I was your biggest fan
Cheerleader with a pom pom
I loved you in song
But in life too
In my words sprawled across the paper, I expressed it so to you
But it’s a little late for stage and glory
Time has passed and not been kind
One year on since all that
Too much of the amber sap
Memory fails you
So gaslighting is on your mind
Our Connection like the lyrics of a song
You cannot deny
As much as you try
Unreal but enchanting
No more than a web of ego-plumping
Invisible gas flaring into the ether
Meeting your needs for moments of time
Ego centricity no empathy though for mine
Scripts and promises empty noise
Keeping me tight to engage in this fantasy of yours
When real looms though
Run for the hills
Deny and minimise, take a pill
Reaching out but no different decision
Boring and repetitive like I was just that adoring
But not so much as you thought
Deeply missed you said
But really, I’m just snoring
Rethink the whole thing, a genuine change of heart
Not likely
I get that you missed me
I gave a lot
But what I got was not
You won’t forget me
Because the sound of my words will follow you home
The love I gave you put you on a throne
But if your words meant anything
I would have held your hand till you walked to the light
but instead
When the stage lights dim and the crowd goes home
Old friends move on
Keeping only that your words had no meaning
The act, well it was quite demeaning
Distorting the truth to suit your needs
Playing a game pendulating in deeds
Dementia may visit but the truth will be told
Overwhelm you might feel when I called you home
Playing out the dismissive-avoidant drama, yes, you’ve got issues, you’re not alone
Well, my darling, it was a blast
But life got real and now I have to pass
Apology accepted but access denied
To retain contact at a distance is to perpetuate the lie
Just sing your song and dance your dance
Go on with the story you’ve woven inside
It’s just too late for me to revive
Goodbye baby goodbye
There is no such thing
Just a bit of fun
To let you know that
I was your biggest fan
Cheerleader with a pom pom
I loved you in song
But in life too
In my words sprawled across the paper, I expressed it so to you
But it’s a little late for stage and glory
Time has passed and not been kind
One year on since all that
Too much of the amber sap
Memory fails you
So gaslighting is on your mind
Our Connection like the lyrics of a song
You cannot deny
As much as you try
Unreal but enchanting
No more than a web of ego-plumping
Invisible gas flaring into the ether
Meeting your needs for moments of time
Ego centricity no empathy though for mine
Scripts and promises empty noise
Keeping me tight to engage in this fantasy of yours
When real looms though
Run for the hills
Deny and minimise, take a pill
Reaching out but no different decision
Boring and repetitive like I was just that adoring
But not so much as you thought
Deeply missed you said
But really, I’m just snoring
Rethink the whole thing, a genuine change of heart
Not likely
I get that you missed me
I gave a lot
But what I got was not
You won’t forget me
Because the sound of my words will follow you home
The love I gave you put you on a throne
But if your words meant anything
I would have held your hand till you walked to the light
but instead
When the stage lights dim and the crowd goes home
Old friends move on
Keeping only that your words had no meaning
The act, well it was quite demeaning
Distorting the truth to suit your needs
Playing a game pendulating in deeds
Dementia may visit but the truth will be told
Overwhelm you might feel when I called you home
Playing out the dismissive-avoidant drama, yes you’ve got issues, you’re not alone
Well, my darling, it was a blast
But life got real and now I have to pass
Apology accepted but access denied
To retain contact at a distance is to perpetuate the lie
Just sing your song and dance your dance
Go on with the story you’ve woven inside
It’s just too late for me to revive
Goodbye baby goodbye
