TAKE SCIENCE!

Free Will Is A Lie, And I Don’t Give A Rat’s Fanny

With all due respect to rats

by author

Because of Rocky Road ice cream, I don’t believe in free will.

When my tongue bumped into that taste for the first time, it was already ready to say yes. I didn’t have to think about it. Didn’t make a choice. Something in the tongue had made up its mind prior to contact and was just waiting for what?

Contact.

And before I knew what was happening to me, I was fifteen spoonfuls deep. No turning back.

Because genetics.

Because nature.

What about nurture?

The way I was nurtured is based on the genetics of the nurturers. They couldn’t have done it any other way. They weren’t any freer than me, friend.

YOU: Prove it. And we’re not friends.

Fine.

Proof: When a bowling ball rolls down a hill, doesn’t it look like it’s making choices, going this way and that because it wants to? Hopping here. Speeding up or slowing down there. Crashing into the picnic date of two people cheating on their spouses in public.

Bowling ball shape + hill shape + gravity = if you could know every detail of each factor…