BOXED BLISS

Unboxing Childhood

Watch as I rescue 1983 from a 42-year imprisonment

by author

I love vintage Star Wars toys so much. Some well-intentioned people — let’s call them “family” — say I love these toys “Too much. Like there’s something missing from your heart and you think vintage Star Wars toys will fill the void.”

Ouch.

And also, correct.

For example, I just spent 65 dollars on the Rancor Keeper.

He’s still in his box!

A box still bearing its Kmart price tag:

by author

$2.78 + inflation + something missing from the customer’s heart = only 65 dollars!

The plastic that holds Mr. Keeper has yellowed with time, making it look like he’s been farting in there since 1983.

I’ve been farting out here since ’83, and then some, but I have the luck of wind, wide open spaces, and the freedom to blame others, whoever’s stationed with me in houses and work places at the time of the incident.

The yellow plastic also makes it look like it’s the 70s in there. That yellow tint to everything. All…