My Summer Diary — Day 1
Hey there! You might be surprised if I say that my summer will start today! Sound weird huh? It’s August 12 already!!!
Yes, I’m not kidding. I just finished my 1.5-month internship at Schoolab and decided to take a “real” vacation.
Real vacation: A period of time when you only spend time doing your hobbies and exploring yourself.
There is a question that I’m still not sure about the answer: Who I want to be in the future?
A brief introduction: I was born in a traditional family then attending gifted school in secondary and high school. After that, as usual, I got into a prestigious university with huge reputation on public policy and economic analysis. Well, my career path maybe look like “go to a well-known MBA program then becoming a consultant or manager at an elite company”. That’s exactly what people think like will be in the next 10 years. I thought that, too.
Oh, if it’s that simple, there is nothing to write about :)
It was a “brave” decision when I came to a conclusion that I want to experience Me-time in my last 3 weeks before going back to school next September. Why do I say that? Because I’m such a workaholic and FOMO is a huge dark part inside me. “I have to be the top 1”, “If I stop trying, I will be nothing to others”, “why can’t do that while I have more than others?”. I’m always comparing myself with others: classmates, friends, and even people who are much older than me. My ambition is kind of infinite :)
Then, just suddenly realized that most of time I cannot feel happy. And I lose my ability to be happy and to define happiness. I scheduled several meetings with a personal therapist, and it was very interesting when she said “Zay, you’re so rational. You’re looking for answers that you already had. Another way to understand is that you don’t really need the answers.” My therapist told me to practice the PERMA model of happiness. Wow, it was helpful, but only for a short time and it stopped when I’m no longer meeting her.
After that, I was dealing with instant struggles until I understand that we have to be the person bring happiness to ourselves. Not anyone else!
I wrapped all my current projects up and booked flights to come back home. I set “Unavailable” status in all channels: Whatsapp, Gmail, Facebook, etc. I never ever do that before. I will make my next 21 days become an unforgettable memory: A REAL VACATION!
