Ugrrrr I had to wake up At 6am and go to the History museum this morning with Vietnamese Studies class. Not really interesting, but it can be considered to be great in term of getting to know new friends.
A brief summary: I talked to Do Nguyen, a new student, about how to handle peer pressure at Fulbright where you have to compete a lot to get recognition. Then I had coffee hangout with Ba Pham, also a new student from my “high school neighbor”.
Hmm, after hours and hours of talking, I just realized that I have a strong feeling of insecurity. It’s hard to believe in someone and I don’t wanna show them my “real me”. Maybe I’m scared. I’m scared of being betrayed. And I’m afraid that one day they will leave me. I thought they might spread my secrets around like what my “friends” in this school did to me. Then people will make jokes about me. In this school, I feel unsafe to share my stories. It’s weird when I feel that because they always embrace a safe environment for students to share their opinions, their feelings even good or bad. However, after one year “surviving” in this environment, I think I’ve become more and more skeptical about “human being” and nervous to show the my true personality.
Some things I told new friends today
- You cannot make all people happy but you can make you become the happiest person. Therefore, stop comparing yourself with others and start satisfying yourself.
- You have to know exactly what you want to achieve then following your goals.
New things I explored today
- Insight week is a short internship, about 1–2 weeks, to know more about consulting and investment banking.
- I should make flash cards by recording my notes.
- Gay people have many events which sounds like “hook up events”
Things I will do tomorrow
- Practice Guqin (love it)
- Make meal plans for next week. Maybe I should start a cooking journal :>
- Draft email to send to my networks in investment banking.
