The Adventures of Floating Clausewitz Head: The OODA Loop and the Journey into the Chinese Room: Part II

Continued from Part I:

Suddenly, the ground shook as bombs started to fall everywhere. The Navy and Air Force were using AirSea Battle to attack Colonel Meow’s fortress, as they had Pivoted to Asia and unleashed the Wu Tang Clan as part of the Third Offset Strategy.

Suddenly, Darth appeared, riding a robot cheetah.

“Come with me if you want to live!” Darth said. Floating Clausewitz Head and Doctrine Man leaped on the cheetah’s back as it galloped off.

JFK and Bill Clinton appeared and courageously held off the Wu-Tang Clan long enough for Darth, Floating Clausewitz Head, and Doctrine Man to escape.

After fighting the Wu-Tang Clan long enough, the Wu-Tang clan members suddenly morphed into fly ladies wearing Wu-Tang Clan T-Shirts. JFK and Clinton suddenly realized that they were actually living in a highly detailed simulation and that Nick Bostrom was right.

Clinton and JFK delighted in their good fortune. However, Clinton was suddenly impeached and thus could not mack on the Wu-Shorties:

If I understand the history correctly, in the late 1990s, the President was impeached for lying about a sexual affair by a House of Representatives led by a man who was also then hiding a sexual affair, who was supposed to be replaced by another Congressman who stepped down when forced to reveal that he too was having a sexual affair, which led to the election of a new Speaker of the House who now has been indicted for lying about payments covering up his sexual contact with a boy.

JFK, alone with the Wu-Shorties, grinned. “Ask not what you can do for your country,” JFK said, “ask how you can back dat ass up.”

Doctrine Man gave Floating Clausewitz Head a lead as to how to find out the truth behind the pronbot conspiracy. He told Clausewitz Head that the answer would be found in a Chinese Room.

First, Floating Clausewitz Head, knowing that Chinese hackers had been in the news lately, decided to go to a room where such hacking took place. He walked into many such rooms, but found no answers. Just an endless stream of binary numbers.

To make matters worse, someone replaced the Enter key on his computer with a Chinese flag. And he could not type without wearing a glove and a hoodie.

To be continued……

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