The Complex Lifeworld of an Twitter Pornbot
From “An Ethnographic Analysis of Twitter Porn Bots: An Interaction-Centric Approach,” forthcoming in the Journal of NSFW Derpological Social Science:
Meet Penelope, a free-spirited young woman from New Jersey that identifies as a “[p]arty girl, expert kisser, disco dancer, music snob.” Most of Penelope’s tweets are pictures of “lovely lady lumps” (Adams Jr., Lindo, Gomez, and Ferguson 2005) or posterior entities so large that one astrophysicist has argued they could be as big as “two planets” (Derulo 2014).
Penelope likes to tweet about celebrities. Indeed, who among us has not wondered what Topanga is up to now?
Penelope is concerned that young women today have poor posture; at this rate girls like this are going to throw out their backs with such bad composure!
Penelope is also believes in novel and unique forms of communication; she has mastered the art of saying a lot with only a few words.
But that’s not all Penelope is interested in. She is interested, for example, in Japan’s problematic re-armanent policies and discussions of it on Twitter.
But that’s not all. You see, Penelope is also an adherent to the Frankfurt School of philosophy, and especially loves when people talk about the writings of Theodor Adorno. Yes, Penelope too has pondered the Dialectic of Enlightenment.
Penelope also is an avid sports fan, and appreciates when people have the proper equipment to enjoy watching sports from the comfort of their domiciles.
Penelope also has a gift for the literary imagination; she has read Nietszche and has pondered the authorial burdens of the modern artist.
Penelope is also an avid technologist as well. She, like Cory Doctorow, has marveled over the hypocritcal nature of the modern copyright regime. And Penelope also is always interested in what kind of hardware setups the discerning PC user has.
Penelope, as an enterpreneurial and ever-striving young businesswoman, cares a lot about the mechanics of how Craigslist transactions are conducted.
Perhaps one of the most astounding things about Penelope is her cultural range and sophistication. She is both knowledgeable about Chuck Norris internet memes AND follows Eurovision.
Last, but not certainly least, Penelope is also a gamer. She not only keeps up with the latest in video game titles, but also cares much about the problematic representation of the autistic in video games.
Despite most likely being a bot pre-programmed to favorite an absurdly wide range of tweets, Penelope has lived a much more full and exciting life than all of us. Would that we all be so open-minded and eclectic in our tastes that we could simultaneously enjoy international politics, sports, European philosophy, literature, video games, technology, Chuck Norris, Eurovision, while tweeting pictures of thong-clad derrieres and exuberant proclamations of why Adriana Lima in a bikini is smokin.
