About Her

I love talking to complete strangers.

My first true crush, if I am to remember, was a complete stranger. I ruined the first talk and then it never materialized into anything. The thing is, with strangers we can just focus on one thing — one specific thing — and be really excited about it for as long as we want. Maybe her eyes look intense, her hair has a striking fragrance. Her lipstick suits her skin perfectly. Things which go unnoticed or casual for friend zoned or book zoned people.

Most of all everyone is a stranger and we can handpick people whom we want to talk to or share our thoughts. Eventually, every stranger turns into a shit we don’t want to look back on. But there’s a certain difficulty associated with reaching out to people with only bits and pieces of info we have on them. Still, doing it anyway — and thus getting to know one more person — is what makes life interesting!

"Hello mam… I don't know about the implications but… "

I paused for a moment unintentionally while she looked directly into me.
For an instant I held my breath and continued,
"If you don't mind, I wanted to say something to you."

We had been in the same bus. Had probably shared some glances at each other. We dropped on the same station for home.

"Hi!"
"अं भन्नु न। "

I heard her say it twice, while I stood there silent — unable to hold on to my voice and start a conversation with a complete stranger I had only seen a few minutes ago.

I looked at her, that face which got me so interested. I wanted to talk to her right then, like life would be incomplete if I did not make that conversation. As soon as I saw her again, thoughts started to flow like it did when I saw her in the opposite seat.

"आई डन्ट नो, तर you just have a very thought provoking face."

She laughed with elegance. Absolute elegance. I wonder how some bold women laugh with such visible beauty.

I was certainly overthinking (which I do pretty often). But in that particular case, I was talking to her not because of what I thought but instead due to the thoughts that cropped up in me by her mere presence.

As soon as I said कि her face looked thought provoking she opened up and took on the conversation. It was इजी पिजी। 😂

"अं life मा कति कुरा हुँदो रहेछ, it's hard not to reflect."

She seemed to have that common intuition maybe that I had nothing more to say right then, so she continued. She looked way older than me though I can’t be certain. These days I have lost my intuition of how old or young I actually am. Life feels timeless. As things turned out for that moment, she did not have time to put her words into making me feel like a भाई or anything.

"जिन्दगीमा hard work गरेर मात्र नि नहुने रहेछ। आफुले चाहेर, सबै efforts गर्दा नि things don't go well. आफुले सबै थोक दिएपछी त काम बन्छ भन्ने expect हुन्छ नि - नहुने रैछ।"

Her gestures made everything she said and did intense and true. That those were the very thought she had before I talked to her. As she was passing by the road micro बाट ओर्लिएपछि she was walking slowly, looking at the clothes in the road-side shops. In her blue shirt, she looked like a bank employee. Her fair complexion, silky hair. Sweat in her forehead where the hair ends and in her upper lips, she was everything and beautiful.

"के भयो र? Job को Problem? "

"No, Settled job", she waved her hand with that confidence people show when they actually believe in themselves and in what they do.

I could not think of other “grown-up problems”. I could not ask if she her if she was married, that would be pretty inappropriate.

"मैले यसो भन्दा यो नसोच्नु होला - केटी मान्छे boyfriend को Problem होला भनेर", she looked at me again, maybe searching for a reply this time.

I denied and I remember having that big smile on my face, "No, सोच्दिन त्यस्तो केही।"

"Hard work ले मात्र नपुग्ने रैछ।
कहिले काहीं हुन्छ नि अरू केहि - Luck पनि हुन पर्ने रैछ। "

I looked at her as she spoke अनि unlike before it was not her perfect lipstick or that irresistible hair and that glowing face that kept me interested. It was the way she was speaking, the way she felt and at about a foot distance I could feel her emotions. It was the way her face turned so stressed and so keen to try again.

She never looked like the kind of person who would ever let God decide her fate. Hard working people with the right intentions have that kind of confidence in putting themselves up like this. She did not ask a question, never hesitated in speaking what she felt like. Maturely she refrained from telling me what had made her so.

I have never really kept my life on test for luck. Always denied the very existence of God and his freaking influence.

But when life hits hard, and we can't make any sense of it — bang, maybe God was not in our favor. Actually, Gods don't even care what happens on us. Then her terms changed.

"हुन्छ नि कहिले काहीं भगवानले नि साथ दिनु पर्न रैछ काम बन्नलाई ", she looked up to the sky as if she wanted to tell the Gods that it was their fault in not being with her despite her hard work.

We departed with minimal formality. And I believe things don't end well when they are meant not to.

We took different roads then.
"Okay, bye!"
"A, okay bye!"

No “all the best”, no nothing.

Just that charming face who gave her heart out for those few minutes.

That Friday evening I talked to her.
She was a beautiful girl who talked — of things worth listening to.

Zerone is an undergrad publication at I.O.E, Pulchowk focusing on People (their creative side, their thoughts, their lives) and Technology (the new, the old, everything).

Follow us for more articles, stories, poems and other cool writings.