How to Tame Stress

Restore Calm to a Chaotic Life

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow ~ Charlotte Brontë (Photo by ahmad gunnaivi on Unsplash)

Introduction
“We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.” ~ David Mamet 1999

It may well be true. Stress is a natural reaction as the body struggles against assailing negative pressures. Once these pressures become overwhelming they can be forerunners to anxiety and depression.

Insert an apple pie into the equation and observe. The mission of baking the pie reduces the baker’s heart rate and reinstates joy brought on by the slight acidity of honey crisp apples gently softening, caressed by cinnamon, lazing in a buttery crust as the sugar caramelizes. The taste imparts a sense of bliss.

Mercifully, in the absence of a pie of any flavor, stress is quite manageable. In fact, a little stress can boost your performance. This is often seen in students studying for exams, or athletes practicing for competition. Simple techniques, practiced frequently can help reduce stress.

If you are feeling anxious and interested in learning how to deal with stress, read on

Feeling Stressed
Stress can be defined as a response of the body to both external and internal demands placed on it.

External factors:

• Work
• Relationships
• Finances
• Deadlines
• Congested traffic

Internal factors:

• Health
• Hunger
• Arguments
• Amount of sleep

How to Deal with Stress
Learning stress management is a path to happier, healthier lives. Here are some tips to keep stress at bay.

• Maintain a positive attitude.
• Acknowledge that there are events that you cannot control.
• Assert your feelings, opinions or beliefs rather than showing defensiveness or passivity.
• Learn and practice relaxation techniques.
• Effectively manage your time.
• Set appropriate limits by saying no to requests that might cause excessive stress.
• Allocate time for hobbies, interests, and relaxation.
• Get enough rest and sleep to let your body recover from stressful events.
• Don’t depend on alcohol, drugs or obsessive behaviors to reduce stress.
• Seek out social support and spend enough time with those you enjoy.

What Is Stress?
Stress is the body’s reaction to real or perceived harmful situations. When you feel endangered, a chemical reaction, known as the “fight-or-flight,” or stress response, triggers a reaction intended to prevent injury. The response is a normal reaction to threatening situations, honed in our prehistory to help us survive threats like an animal attack or a flood. During a stress response, heart rate increases, breathing quickens, muscles tighten and blood pressure rises.

What causes stress in one person may be nonthreatening to another and not everyone is equally comfortable dealing with stress. In truth, not all stress is bad because in small doses, stress can help you achieve tasks and prevent harm. For example, stress triggers the action to slam on the breaks to avoid hitting the car in front of you. That’s a pretty good thing.

Our bodies are designed to handle small doses of stress, but not outfitted for long-term, chronic stress. Chronic stress leads to harmful consequences.

The Symptoms of Stress

All aspects of your life, including your emotions, behaviors, intellect and physical health are vulnerable to stress. While no one is immune, individual capacity to handle stress cause symptoms to differ. Since symptoms are often vague and may mimic medical conditions, it is important to discuss them with your physician. You may experience any of the following symptoms of stress.

Emotional symptoms of stress include:

• Becoming easily agitated, frustrated and moody
• Feeling overwhelmed, as if you are losing control
• Difficulty relaxing and quieting the mind
• Feelings of low self-esteem, loneliness, worthlessness and depression
• Avoiding others

Physical symptoms of stress include:

• Low energy
• Headaches
• Upset stomach including diarrhea, constipation and nausea
• Insomnia
• Frequent colds and infections
• Nervousness and shaking, ringing in the ears, cold or sweaty hands and feet
• Aches, pains, and tense muscles
• Dry mouth and difficulty swallowing

Cognitive symptoms of stress include:

• Constant worrying
• Racing thoughts
• Forgetfulness and disorganization
• Inability to focus
• Poor judgment
• Being pessimistic or seeing only the negative side

Behavioral symptoms of stress include:

• Changes in appetite such as overeating
• Procrastinating and avoiding responsibilities
• Increased use of alcohol, drugs or cigarettes
• Exhibiting nervous behaviors such as nail-biting, fidgeting and pacing

Consequences of Long-Term Stress

• Ongoing, chronic stress can cause or exacerbate many serious health problems, including depression, anxiety and personality disorders
• Cardiovascular disease like heart disease, high blood pressure, heart arrhythmia, heart attacks and stroke
• Gastrointestinal distress

Stress Reducing Activities
It might seem paradoxical, but physical stress placed on your body by regular exercise regularly can relieve mental stress. Here are a few reasons behind this:

• Stress hormones: Exercise lowers stress hormones such as cortisol and releases endorphins, chemicals that improve your mood and act as natural painkillers.
• Sleep: Exercise can enhance the quality of sleep, overcoming the negative effects of stress and anxiety.
• Confidence: Regular exercise boosts your competence and confidence, empowering mental wellbeing.

Engage in stress reduction activities you enjoy, such as walking, jogging, dancing, rock climbing or yoga that involve repetitive movements of large muscle groups. Mindfulness, music and laughter relieve anxiety with the bonus of expanding your overall work-life balance.

Relaxation Techniques
Relaxation techniques can reduce stress symptoms and help you enjoy a better quality of life whether your stress is spiraling out of control or you have conquered it. Either way, you can gather benefits by mastering relaxation techniques involving:

• Slowing your breathing rate
• Maintaining normal blood sugar levels
• Reducing activity of stress hormones
• Increasing blood flow to major muscles
• Improving concentration and mood
• Improving sleep quality
• Lowering fatigue
• Reducing anger and frustration

A tip for enhancing your success is to combine relaxation techniques with positive coping methods, such as positive thinking, sprinkling humor wherever possible, engaging in problem-solving, time management, exercising, geting enough sleep and seeking the aid of supportive family and friends.

As you learn relaxation techniques, you become more conscious of muscle tension and other physical sensations of stress. Perceiving the onset of a stress response enables a conscious effort to initiate a relaxation technique the moment you recognize stress symptoms.

Be aware that relaxation techniques, like any skill, improves with practice and patience. Avoid allowing your determination to practice relaxation techniques to develop into still another stressor. If one relaxation technique doesn’t work for you, try another method.

Types of relaxation techniques
Health professionals are capable of teaching various relaxation techniques, but you can learn some relaxation techniques on your own. It requires you to refocus your attentiveness on calming thoughts or circumstances that increase body awareness.

To harvest the benefits, regardless of the relaxation technique you choose, you must consistently and routinely practice relaxation.

Types of relaxation techniques include:

• Autogenic relaxation. Autogenic means something that comes from within you. In this relaxation technique, you use both visual imagery and body awareness to reduce stress. You repeat words or suggestions in your mind that may help you relax and reduce muscle tension.
• Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR). In this relaxation technique, you consciously tense and then release your muscles in groups from head to toe. This can help you focus on the difference between muscle tension and relaxation. You can become more aware of physical sensations.
• Visualization. In this relaxation technique, you form mental images to take a visual journey to a peaceful, calming place or situation. To relax using visualization, try to incorporate as many senses as you can, including smell, sight, sound and touch. If you imagine relaxing on a sandy beach near the ocean, for instance, think about the smell of salt water, the sound of crashing waves and the warmth of the sun on your body.

How to Relax

• Deep breathing
• Massage
• Meditation
• Tai chi
• Yoga
• Biofeedback
• Music and art therapy
• Aromatherapy
• Hydrotherapy

Following are six ways to reduce stress by inducing the relaxation response. Practicing the techniques will help you learn how to relax when stress seems to be getting the upper hand.

• Body scan
• Breath focus
• Guided imagery
• Mindfulness meditation
• Yoga, tai chi, and qigong
• Repetitive prayer

The idea of exercising may not sound particularly soothing, but rhythmic exercise that gets you into a flow of repetitive movement can produce the relaxation response. Examples include:

• Running
• Walking
• Swimming
• Dancing
• Rowing
• Climbing

Relaxation Time
Relaxation can be haphazard by way of collapsing on the couch in front of the TV when you are feeling stressed at the end of a workday. Trouble is, this is not an effective way to counter the damaging effects of stress. Achieving this important goal necessitates activating the body’s natural relaxation response, a state of deep rest that impedes stress, slows your breathing and heart rate, lowers your blood pressure, restoring your body and mind’s balance.

There is no specific relaxation time, but there are some guidelines that might help based on the relaxation technique used. For instance, the best times for meditation are right after waking up when you are well rested, refreshed and have fewer things on in your mind and before going to bed to ensure better sleep. If you are just starting out, meditating from 5 to 10 minutes every day or less is adequate.

How to Relax Yourself
Being relaxed can help ease stress, anxiety, depression and sleep problems. Relaxing can quiet the mind and the body, imparting a sense of peace and calm. There are many ways to relax, some designed to relax your mind and some to relax your body. But because the mind and body are connected in many ways, numerous relaxation methods concurrently work on both the mind and the body.

Perhaps you have a playlist of relaxing music that you listen to when you need to calm your mind. Music has a comforting effect on physiological functions, slowing the pulse and heart rate, lowering blood pressure and decreasing the levels of stress hormones. Music produces serotonin to relieve stress and physical pain.

Listening to music can have an enormously tranquil effect on our minds and bodies. The Solfeggio frequency is a well-known theory (though it’s not yet empirically proven) that extolls the benefits of frequency of 528 Hz on our body.

The 528Hz frequency is used in Gregorian chants and is essential to maintaining the geometry of circles and spirals consistent with maintaining DNA structuring and ultrasonic restructuring. Evidence suggests that 528 Hz has the potential to positively affect cellular water clusters to assist in removing impurities, thus preventing sickness and disease.

Whether it’s healing or not, we do know that music is capable of making changes in our mind and body.

Our brain is fanatical about music. It puts us in a peak mental state for reasoning and undertakings that involve spatial–temporal abilities, while also improving the connection between our two brain hemispheres, promoting faster communication between neurons.

Listening to relaxing music after surgery improves patient recovery and makes this critical time a bit more pleasant and less stressful. An article in Psychology Today explains that relaxing music eases the sensation of pain, produces endorphins and strengthens the immune system.

How many times have you laid in bed, dimmed the lights and submerged into the peaceful, pleasing world of music. Listening to relaxing music through headphones at night helps us sleep better. It helps us release our worries and those exhausting thoughts that tend to fodder anxiety.

How to Relax Your Mind
Take a deep breath. Hold it for a moment, and then exhale. Do you feel more relaxed? Breathing exercises are one way to relax. When you breathe deeply, the brain receives a message to calm down and relax. The brain then forwards the message to your body.

Mental stress activates your sympathetic nervous system, signaling your body to go into “fight-or-flight” mode. During this reaction, stress hormones are released and you experience physical symptoms such as a faster heartbeat, quicker breathing and constricted blood vessels.

Deep breathing exercises can help activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which controls the relaxation response. There are several types of deep breathing exercises, embracing diaphragmatic breathing, abdominal breathing, belly breathing and paced respiration. When you breathe in deeply through your nose, your lungs fully expand and your belly rises. This helps slow your heart rate, allowing you to feel more peaceful.

The symptoms of stress, increased heart rate, fast breathing, and high blood pressure decrease as you breathe deeply to relax. In addition, deep breathing is an excellent stress reducer because of the following:

• The breath affects the whole body.
• Breathing exercises help you relax, reduce tension and relieve stress.
• Breathing exercises are easily learned.
• You can do them whenever you want
• The exercise does not require special tools or equipment

There may be no better restorative than soaking in warm water to relax after a long day. It is less well known that relaxing with a hot bath can also help improve your health and literally wash your pain away.

“Your skin releases endorphins in response to the soothing warm water the same way that endorphins are released when you feel the sun on your skin,” says Dr. Bobby Buka, a dermatologist based in New York. He explains that submerging ourselves in hot water can be both therapeutic and reinvigorating because blood flow increases to the skin.

A warm bath can also improve breathing as the temperature of the water and pressure on your chest increases lung capacity and oxygen intake. A growing body of research has shown that passive heating can also reduce the risk of having a heart attack, improve blood sugar control and even help lower blood pressure.

One study revealed that soaking in an hourlong hot bath burned as many calories (around 140) as a 30-minute walk because the warm water makes your heart beat faster, giving it a healthy work out.

An hourlong hot bath may help:

• Improve blood sugar control
• Lower your blood pressure
• Burn 140 calories
• Protect you from illness and infection

Lounging in the warm water is also a good time to practice mindful meditation and focus on what is happening in the present moment without trying to change it. Listen to your body, feel the pace of your breathing, tune in to sounds, noises or the silence.

Meditation partnered with water is an excellent way to wash off your day and release excess energy.

Mindfulness describes practices that anchor you to the present moment. They can help combat the anxiety-inducing effects of negative thinking. There are several methods for increasing mindfulness, including mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, mindfulness-based stress reduction, yoga and meditation.

Lay or sit comfortably in a calm environment. Play some relaxing music if you like, or open the window to listen to the sounds of nature. Light some scented candles. Focus on the sounds, scents, and sensations you notice and enjoy each moment as it passes.

Meditating for 10–20 minutes a day can help you lower overall stress and even a brief 5-minute meditation when you feel overwhelmed can help refocus during a stressful situation or workday. You can do it sitting up or laying down, use mantras or guided imagery or just concentrate on your breathing. The goal is simply to relax your body and calm your mind.

Similarly, guided imagery during which you imagine yourself in a special setting that fosters calm and relaxed feelings is effective. You can use audiotapes, scripts, apps or a mentor to guide you through the process.

A terrific way to enjoy the sensations of relaxation is to write about your feelings in a journal. Scientists attest to the therapeutic, stress-coping mechanism of writing about personal experiences, dreams and feelings. In addition, expressive writing produces many physiological benefits such as improved memory, better sleep and enhanced immune cell activity.

While recording what you’re stressed about is one approach, another is jotting down what you’re grateful for. Gratitude may help relieve stress and anxiety by focusing your thoughts on what’s positive in your life.

How to Relax Your Body
Try yoga. Yoga is a mind and body practice that involves movement, breathing exercises and a focus on thoughts and feelings as they happen (mindfulness). While yoga styles differ, most share a common goal — to connect your body and mind.

Yoga achieves this by increasing body and breath awareness. In general, the benefit of yoga for stress and anxiety seems to be related to its effect on the nervous system and stress response. It may help lower cortisol levels, blood pressure and heart rate and increase gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), a neurotransmitter that is decreased in mood disorders.

Some studies have examined yoga’s effect on mental health. Overall, research has found that yoga can enhance mood and may even be as effective as antidepressant drugs at treating depression and anxiety.

Yoga is beneficial for improving core strength, flexibility, stress levels and encouraging better sleep, particularly if you suffer from insomnia. Performing yoga daily allows longer sleep, falling asleep faster and returning to sleep more quickly.

If you intend to incorporate yoga into your bedtime routine, select restorative styles of yoga like hatha and nidra and avoid energizing yoga types like hot yoga and vigorous vinyasa flow.

There are many diverse methods that can reduce anxiety, decrease muscle tension and help with your sleep problems such as:

• Progressive muscle relaxation sends the body the signal that it is okay to fall asleep.
• Make time to do things you enjoy can also help you relax.
• Get a massage or have someone give you a back rub.
• Have a warm drink that doesn’t have alcohol or caffeine in it, such as herbal tea or warm milk.

Relax After a Long Day

• Stretch.
• Indulge. Allow yourself to indulge in something special, such as a decadent dessert you may usually avoid or a glass of your favorite wine.
• Take a Bubble Bath.
• Get Some Fresh Air. Absorb Vitamin D.
• Get Some Shut Eye.

Relax after Exams
Finally, exams are over!

Try not to dive into an in-depth review of the exam straight afterwards as it will only make you worry about answers you can’t change and will unnecessarily create stress. Now is the time to reward yourself for working so hard. Try an aerobic activity similar to running, swimming, cycling, or even a brisk walk to decrease overall feelings of tension, improve your sleep, and elevate your mood.

Here are some ways to relax and unwind.

• Go for a long walk to re-energize and get your blood flowing after the sedentary exam period.
• Plan a route that goes through less congested areas and just start walking.
• Listen to music or podcasts and boogie on down the street.
• Take a vacation

Relax after Work
Although stress and anxiety may arise in your workplace, there are many simple ways to reduce the pressure you feel. These tips often involve getting your mind away from the source of stress.

• Get a massage to loosen up muscles cramped from slumping over your desk most of the day.
• Tidy up your desk
• Declutter your office

What to Do After a Long Day
Start with a hot shower or bath. Warm water increases circulation and relaxes your muscles, similar to getting a massage or exercising. Light some candles, play relaxing music and soak in the tub for at least ten minutes. A bath is an excellent opportunity for meditation or practicing mindfulness as long as you don’t fall asleep in the tub.

It may sound counterproductive to relaxation, but exercising helps clear your head by burning off all the mental energy saved up during a long day at work, school or around the house.

Stroll around the block or a nearby park if possible. Bring your dog along. Concentrate on enjoying the fresh air and sounds of nature instead of trying to plot a route or keep track of the time. If your body feels really tired, spend 20 minutes doing some deep stretches to loosen your muscles from the day’s activities.

What to Do After a Stressful Week

• Progressive muscle relaxation done regularly will help you notice when different muscles tense up during the day so you can relax them immediately and prevent compounding stress in your muscles.
• Listen to instrumental music or recordings like classical or light jazz.
• Reading a book or magazine or listening to an audio book is a great way to unwind and stop thinking about your long stressful day.
• Enjoy your favorite hobby. Whatever you love to do, ready a short and long task to run with on any given night to make yourself more likely to engage in something fun after a long or difficult day.
• Spend time with your pet. Bonding with your pet promotes relaxation and happiness. Without a doubt, your good friend missed you all day, so set aside some time to play with your dog or brush your cat. You’ll be spending time together and getting some exercise for both of you!
• Call or spend time with a friend or loved one. If you have family at home, do something special together when you get home, especially if your time together is limited. If you live alone, set up a date or phone date with your BFF or mom or sibling just to check in and share some laughs.
• Charlie Chaplin said, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
  Do something to make you laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. It releases endorphins that make you feel happy and can even increase your body’s ability to tolerate physical pain. It’s hard to feel anxious when you’re laughing. In the long term, laughter can also help improve your immune system and mood.
• Take control over the parts of your life that you can change and are causing you stress. One way to do this may be to say no more often. This is especially true if you find yourself taking on more than you can handle; juggling many responsibilities can leave you feeling overwhelmed. Being selective about what you take on and saying no to things that will unnecessarily add to your load can reduce your stress levels.

Inevitably we encounter days where nothing seems to go as expected. Exercise involving the stretching of your muscles can help you to relax after such a day. Yoga or Pilates help lengthen and loosen your tight muscles. A little exercise to end your day can also help you sleep better and will release endorphins that can improve your mood.

Relaxation Response
As we face stressful situations, whether minor annoyances or serious concerns, stress floods the body with hormones that set up a stress response. We can’t, nor do we want to avoid all sources of stress in our lives but we can develop healthier ways of responding to them.

One way is to invoke the relaxation response. The relaxation response, a state of profound rest that can be elicited in many ways, is the opposite of the stress response and with regular practice, you invoke a well of calmness to dip into as needed.

Following are six relaxation techniques to help you evoke the relaxation response and reduce stress.

1. Breath focus. In this simple, powerful technique, you take long, slow, deep breaths (also known as abdominal or belly breathing). As you breathe, gently disengage your mind from distracting thoughts and sensations.

2. Body scan. This technique blends breath focus with progressive muscle relaxation. After a few minutes of deep breathing, begin a body scan, focusing on one part of the body or group of muscles at a time, mentally releasing any physical tension you feel.

3. Guided imagery. Conjure up soothing scenes, places or experiences in your mind to help you relax and refocus. You can find free apps and online recordings of calming scenes and sounds. Make sure to choose imagery you find soothing that has personal significance.

4. Mindfulness meditation. This practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and turning your mind’s attention to the present moment without drifting into anxieties about the past or future.

5. Yoga, tai chi, and qigong. These three ancient arts combine rhythmic breathing with a series of postures or flowing movements, offering a mental focus to help distract you from competing thoughts while enhancing flexibility and balance.

6. Repetitive prayer. Silently repeat a short prayer or phrase from a prayer while practicing breath focus. This method may be especially appealing if religion or spirituality is meaningful to you.

Rather than choosing just one technique, experts recommend sampling several to see which one works best for you. Try to practice for at least 20 minutes a day, although even a few minutes can help. But the longer and the more often you practice these relaxation techniques, the greater the benefits and the more you can reduce stress.

Sounds to Relieve Stress and Help you Sleep
As anyone who has dealt with the effects of sleep deprivation knows, inability to sleep can create problems, affecting diverse areas of our lives.

Health experts say we should get 7–8 hours per night. A study showed that sleeping too little or at odd hours can increase your risk for diabetes and obesity because lack of sleep messes up your insulin levels and slows your metabolism.

But what if sleep alludes us?

The Doobie Brothers were definitely onto something when they wrote the song “Listen to the Music.”

With the help of a sleep app or other external support, soothe yourself into sleep listening to music and nature’s serene sounds. The spatter of rain on the roof, birds chirping, waves crashing on a beach, a babbling brook have a cathartic effect on the body, focusing our minds and liberating our bodies at the same time.

You’ll feel an inner calm, manage stress better and increase your ability to concentrate and focus. Because nature sounds are so calming, they’re often incorporated into relaxation and meditation music to promote peaceful feelings and happiness and improve the quality of your sleep.

Sweet dreams.

Summary
We have seen how stress can negatively affect health and wellbeing and have been relieved to know that there are techniques that can relax and restore you. After a stressful day at work, school or just dealing with the natural stress of life we are ready for a night of rest, sleep and revitalization.

Stress is a natural reaction as the body struggles against assailing negative pressures. Learning to manage stress is a path to happier, healthier lives.

All aspects of your life, including your emotions, behaviors, intellect and physical health are vulnerable to stress and anxiety. Cardiovascular disease, obesity and other eating disorders, skin, hair and gastrointestinal problems are long term effects of stress.

Regular exercise can relieve mental stress particularly when engaging in stress reduction activities you enjoy, such as walking, jogging, dancing, rock climbing or yoga.

Relaxation isn’t just about peace of mind or enjoying a hobby. Relaxation techniques help you cope with everyday stress and with stress related to various health problems such as heart disease and pain. Regular exercise can deliver important health benefits, help lower stress and anxiety by releasing endorphins, improving self-image and sleep quality.

Deep breathing activates the relaxation response. Multiple methods such as yoga, mindfulness, music and laughter can help you learn how to breathe deeply enriching stress reduction, lowering stress hormone levels and symptoms of anxiety and depression. Keeping a journal can help relieve stress and anxiety, especially if you focus on the positive.

Not all stressors are within your control, but many can be if you choose to make it so. Try not to take on more than you can handle. Saying no is one way to control your stressors. Find the humor in everyday life, spend time with funny friends or watch a comedy show to help relieve stress.

Find a few minutes every day or at least once a week to “play.”

Conclusion
Sleep is the golden chain that links our health and our bodies. Sleep is seen by many as a highly pleasurable experience to look forward to after a tiring day. A solid block of time dedicated to complete relaxation and providing valuable time away from the world is a reward for all our hard work. In today’s hectic, on the-go society, it is easy to comprehend the awesome deference in which we hold sleep, the great restorer.

While stress often seems to be ubiquitous, a relaxing day is a secret longing for many of us. Don’t despair, it is possible and, with planning and determination, highly likely.

The key is to maintain a balance among the stressors, calming influences, your mind and body. If you can keep each running at an even keel and rein in any factor that appears to be spiraling out of control using the techniques and suggestion offered above, you will rise above the turmoil of stress and ill health, have a good day and enjoy sound, restful sleep.

When the responsibilities of adulthood bring your stress levels to an all-time high, try finding your inner child. Turn to the memories of the healthy fun that made you happy as a kid and find time to relive those moments.

Childhood abounded with naps, bubble baths, imagining, dreams and was chock full of time spent playing outside, soaking up the sun and feeling the breeze tousle your hair. All of these activities can work wonders for providing you with a moment of relief from the stresses you face as an adult.

So, go ahead and embrace your inner child and tap into the kid you once were.

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