It’s Not Too Late to Back Out
Day 2 of a writing challenge during National Novel Writing Month in November 2021.
I’m not cut out for this.
Daily writing seems like such a pipe dream. One of those on the bandwagon, off the bandwagon, teeter-totter situations.
I WANT to write daily, but the problem is I DON’T.
Insert exasperated SIGH here.
I always stood in my own way like that. Almost as if the possibility of getting an amazing story out into the world written by me was just not a reality this lifetime.
I could stop writing now. I’ve done it before.
It’s all true and I wish it wasn’t.
The truth is I have stopped before. I was on a roll, the words seamlessly flowed out then, BAM!
I just stopped writing.
Was it no motivation?
Was it a fear of being successful?
My mind traveled back to allowing it all to NOT matter.
No one knew that I started this challenge of writing every day. Emphasis on CHALLENGE. I could just NOT write and then I would be stress-free.
Or so I thought…
The reality of it all is that a year ago I was JUST FINE with the action of stopping my own writing flow and not continuing.
This is an absolute fact since that is what I did.
Wasted writing time.
So much wasted time not writing over the past year.
When I think about it, so much disappointment sets in.
Well, GOOD!
If I had been dedicated with THIS fire last year, I would have had one, two, or maybe even all 3 books of The Trilogy outlined already.
It’s WILD when I think about it.
WILD-ly disappointing.
I suppose I do not have to be THAT hard of myself considering I am making another attempt at The Trilogy this year.
I only have plans for success moving forward because there has been far too much disappointment in myself.
There is such a fine line between failure and success.
It is incredibly eye-opening to understand that it all depends on me.
Me, Myself and I.
That is it.
That is who I have to depend on when it comes to writing. If I do write daily or if I don’t, that is all up to me.
Me, Myself and I.
No amount of accountability partners will assist in getting The Trilogy written. No writing group is THE ONE to help me pump out more words on a daily basis.
As a matter of fact, there is only me to thank for any success and failures that come with The Trilogy.
The way I see it, the only failure here would be not doing ANYTHING.
Thanks, ME, for doing nothing.
Or maybe, having so much time in a day and not using any of it to write.
Gracias MYSELF, for not dedicating any of that 24 hours to my passion.
I am going to attempt to create writing into a habit for myself.
A habit like drinking water.
It has got to be done daily.
