Fuck up some coffees
Day 1: Shinjuku, Tokyo
You can buy coffee from vending machines here.
I don’t think ya heard me:
YOU CAN BUY COFFEE FROM VENDING MACHINES.
When the shops are shut, and the cafés are closed, and the cupboard is bare, you can still get your fix.
Just as it should be.
So, for my fellow caffeine addicts, here are some iced insta-brew mini-reviews:
Starbucks Pike Place Dark Roast
The green lady has a bad rep, as the cash-coloured face of greed and globalisation. But the reason Starbucks have an outlet on every corner, dispensing a thousand varieties of caffeinated bevs to (maybe) millions of customers every day, is: consistency. This pitch-black, slightly syrupy shot of love could have come straight out of the chiller in one of their many, many Tokyo stores. The (caffeine) bomb.
Georgia Emerald Mountain Blend
Boy, if this doesn’t live up to its exotic name! More like day-old coffee, shoved back in the fridge for an everyday emergency.
Tully’s Barista’s Black
Same. Flops face-first a good foot short of that overly-ambitious name.
Boss Black
SAME.
Biz Time Black
OMG these machines also dispense HOT COFFEE! However, I’m starting to think that this is all the same liquid, poured into different packaging and served at variable temperatures. I know, I’m the first person to discover that marketing is a sham. Still, this bottle boasts that “this coffee wakes you up as your business partner”. So if I had to pick a brand…
Boss Rainbow Mountain Blend
These names! A sickly-sweet, super-strong espresso that’s probably the worst thing to put in your body first thing in the morning. Needless to say, I love it. Crashing in 3, 2…
