大學教育 v. 職業教育，美國移民局當裁判
在美國待過的留學生，除了得天獨厚或後天優良擁有美國公民身分或綠卡的人，大概都曾經歷過H-1B的磨難。
獲得H-1B工作簽證是留在美國工作的鑰匙，對許多留學生而言H-1b更是爭取時間空間獲得：選項一獲得雇主認可贊助申請綠卡，或者選項二找到真愛兼靈魂伴侶兼一生的配偶兼可能的長期飯票（重點是要美國公民，或者傳說中的485男/485女，這我們留待有空再說）結婚辦綠卡的重要敲門磚。
然而，H-1B的取得過程卻是重重困難，大致上可以分為四個步驟：
第一必須先找到工作（廢話不工作簽證是在幹嘛打手槍嗎）；
第二雇主必須願意贊助你的申請；
第三你必須求神拜佛求耶穌拜基督祈禱你能抽到現在中籤率一年比一年低的H1B大樂透(目前大概四分之一機率)；
最後就算抽中了也不要掉以輕心，因為在審批的階段如果你的雇主公司不夠大牌、錢賺得不夠多、規模不夠大、人雇得不夠（總之就是不夠高大上）或其他種種原因，很有可能好不容易燒了三輩子香連亞馬遜雨林都燒掉換來的一支H1B大樂透簽就這樣被移民局大筆一揮說了一句：「Denied」（加上一篇很有誠意地複製貼上的理由）就再見再也不見了。
在種種被拒絕的理由中，最常見也最讓僱主們頭痛的一種就是對於這個職位是不是「專業職位」的質疑。
H1B工作簽證的特性是一種暫時性的工作簽證（它不是綠卡），而要符合要求該職位必須滿足下列四個條件至少一個：(1) 大學或本科學歷是該職位的通常最低要求，(2) 對於該同領域內類似職位而言本科/大學學歷為普遍要求，或者該職位的工作職務極為複雜且特殊因而只有大學/本科學位擁有者可以擔任，(3)該雇主常規性地要求該學歷作為該職位的必要條件，或者(4)該職位的職務本質極為專業及艱深因而完成這些職務需要的知識必須透過大學/本科學位才能取得。
看得頭昏考眼花的四項條件，其實說穿了以美國移民局現行的審查標準來說就是：「你他媽的念‧什‧麼‧專‧業‧就‧給‧我‧做‧什‧麼‧工‧作！」本人就曾經處理過許多H1B案件，並且發現最容易獲得移民局青睞一個字都不問直接給你過關的莫過於念的學歷就是專業學歷的科系，什麼意思呢就是法律系=律師、會計系=會計師、化學系=化學家等等專‧業‧對‧口‧到一個不行，彷彿念出來你不走那個專業就會天打雷劈十惡不赦的概念。
可是，wait a minute鳩斗馬得，給我稍微等一下，大學/本科學歷是這樣在玩的嗎？(說好得由你玩四年、畢業即失業呢?)
換句話說，其實大學學位好像‧從‧頭‧到‧尾‧都不是一個職業訓練啊！為什麼移民局會期待一個大學畢業生念的科系必須所學與工作完美結合緊密到「只有一個科系」可以符合一個工作職位的需求？（沒錯，他們要的就是這樣，微笑。）
美國移民局又到底把大學當什麼了？學費貴死人不償命的職業訓練所？
如果真的是這樣，那美國知名大學中大概有一大部分需要裁撤‧包括（沒用的）哲學系、人類學系、政治學或者數學系之類的。就算是在一大票看似應該學以致用的學系中，到底又有多少人真的可以理想地「學以致用」？而大學跟工作的關聯性，除了少數極為特定的專業之外，真的有那麼高嗎？更別說有許多現實世界的工作根本是你在念大學時想破頭都想不出來的。而弔詭的是，如果認為工作真的那麼重要，卻又有些有些工作大概八百萬年也不會出現在大學的科系清單裡，例如木工、開卡車等。
舉例來說，美國的高等教育中，法律並不是一個大學中可以修習的學位，想念法學院就算你再怎麼意志堅定年紀輕輕就立志從法，你也必須先念一個跟法律沒有什麼關係的大學學位之後才能在研究所階段讀法律。為什麼？道理很簡單，法學院是一個非常明確的職業教育機構，他教你的東西是非常特定職業取向的，而這種（太過現實、骯髒、一點都不學術高尚）的東西是不該出現在大學殿堂中的。
所以說到底，大學的學位到底是什麼？而我們到底又期待從大學學歷中獲得什麼？
上大學是為了什麼？當然是為了把妹啊！喔不對，當然是訓練批判思維與邏輯啊不然要幹嘛！
而這份訓練，絕對不是一個找工作那麼簡單，真正完善的思維訓練絕對比其他什麼職業訓練都重要百倍，因為那才是練武功最重要的「內功」！
所以，按照美國移民局的邏輯，念哲學系的要嘛你燒香拜佛求月老讓你在求學或OPT期間找到好對象，或者想辦法擠破頭努力找到大學裡面哲學系的職位，再不然你還可以想辦法找個公司聘你當哲學家！（記得要確認公司規模夠大或其他有什麼原因能夠說明有聘僱一個哲學家的需求喔）如果以上三點你都做不到，那不好意思你就莎唷娜拉、阿低喔斯、再見再也不相見滾回你的祖國去因為我們偉大的美‧國‧不‧需‧要‧你‧啊（微笑）
Except for those lucky guys who were born to be or acquired the status of U.S. citizen or green card holder, almost everyone graduating from college or graduate school in the U.S. has experienced the hurdles of H-1B working visa.
The first thing and a good thing to know: H-1B working visa is the key to staying in the U.S.
For countless foreign students who try to pursue their “American Dream”, it is the stepping stone to:
option A- obtaining an employment based green card from an employer, or option B- get yourself a true love/soul mate/life-long partner/possible sponsor (and most importantly, an U.S. citizen,) which means spouse in the legal term.
Given its unique importance to foreign students, the difficulty level of leaping the hurdles of H-1B has become unprecedentedly and unreasonably high under Trump administration, which can be broken down to four parts.
Firstly, you need to find a job (of course, I suppose working visa isn’t for you to jerk off whole day);
secondly, you need an employer who is willing to sponsor you and petition for your H-1B application;
thirdly, you need to pray to Jesus Christ, Buddha, Allah, or whatever god you believe in that you can win the H-1B lottery with success rate getting lower and lower from time to time; and
last but not least, even you are lucky enough to win the lottery, there remains traps in front of lucky people like you. During the substance review procedure, if your company is not big enough, doesn’t make enough money or hire great amount of people (in other word, not “cool”) or for whatever reason that may come up in the reviewing officers’ mind, the lottery ticket you got from burning tons of incense even burning the Amazon rain forest can be wasted entirely by USCIS’s single word “DENIED.” (To comfort you, plus a couple pages of reasoning which are mostly done by copy-paste.)
Among all the reasons provided by USCIS to say “NO, NO, America is not for you,” the most confusing and the most troublesome reason is the challenge as to whether the proffered position is a “Specialty Occupation,” which is the statutory requirement for H-1B visa. The feature of H-1B working visa is not only that it’s temporary but also it must be a position that is qualified for at least one of the following four criteria:
( 1 ) A baccalaureate or higher degree or its equivalent is normally the minimum requirement for entry into the particular position;
( 2 ) The degree requirement is common to the industry in parallel positions among similar organizations or, in the alternative, an employer may show that its particular position is so complex or unique that it can be performed only by an individual with a degree;
( 3 ) The employer normally requires a degree or its equivalent for the position; or
( 4 ) The nature of the sp ecific duties are so specialized and complex that knowledge required to perform the duties is usually associated with the attainment of a baccalaureate or higher degree.
These crazily confusing criteria basically means, based on how USCIS interpret and review the petitions, “YOU FXXXING DO WHAT YOU STUDIED AT SCHOOL!”
I have handled a multitude of H-1B petitions and I can almost affirmatively assure you that the kind of occupations that would pass without the authority saying a word are those study field designed for occupation training. For example, accounting major=accountant, law school graduate=lawyer, chemistry=chemist and so on, meaning “Major Matching” to a hundred percent, to the extent that as if you are punishable if you graduate with that major but you get an irrelevant job.
But, wait a minute, is it really what college education about?
I suppose no one would have suggested that college education is just for occupation training. Then why do immigration officers expect any college graduate who just finished a four year baccalaureate degree to study something that would “closely match” their job duties, so close that only “a specific field of study” could fit into the narrow requirement of the position based on its job duties? (Oh yes, certainly that is exactly what they ask for.)
So the question becomes like this: what does the immigration authority believe college education is, and how is it going to shape the job market for foreign students? Are colleges merely occupation training centers that charge expensive tuition fees?
If that is the case, then it’s a fair guess that a great amount of majors should be omitted from the universities in the U.S., including, most notably, philosophy, ethnology, political science, or mathematics, etc.
Let’s be realistic, even among the occupation-training-oriented major graduates, how many of them really get jobs that perfectly-match what they learn from school?
Is the correlation between university and work, besides a few exceptions, that remarkable and important?
Not to mention there are a whole bunch of jobs and positions that would take you a hundred year to come up with when you are in school because they simply DO NOT exist at the time when you are in school!
What’s more ironic, if occupation is so important, then how come some of the jobs would never appear in the list of college major, such as lumber, truck driving, and so on?
So, to this end, what does a bachelor’s degree really mean? And what do we really expect to acquire from this four year study?
Take something really obvious for example: it might not be that impressive for natives, but it has always been quite impressive to me since I received a great part of my education in a foreign system.
In U.S., one cannot obtain a bachelor’s degree in law.
There might be legal studies at bachelor’s level, but it doesn’t mean you can be a lawyer after you get that. If you really are determined to take legal practice for your career, no matter how early of age you determined to do so, you would have to study a major that is kind of irrelevant to law in a college for (hopefully just) four years.
Why? The answer seems quite comprehensible: law school is supposed to be an institution that is specifically designed to deliver career training in legal profession, and therefore what is taught in law school should be specific and targeted, which is something “too dirty (realistic) to be taught” in a college! Shouldn’t our college education remain scholar and purity and refrain from money-talking?
So, what is college really for? If it is not merely for getting yourself a girl/boyfriend, then maybe, we can say with confidence, for the development of critical thinking and the ability to think about the reality and the world.
This kind of college level training never equals job-hunting. Indeed, a real and thorough development of methodology of thinking is definitely more than hundred times important and powerful than occupation training.
Now, let’s see, according to the reasoning of U.S. immigration officers, if you (unfortunately) happened to be studying philosophy in the college, you may wish to pray actively and sincerely to the God and pray for a good chance to marry to someone during the time you are in school, or try to ask your rich daddy/mommy for half a million to throw in the U.S. market for EB5 green card, or you can still try to secure a position in a university or higher education institute that is related to philosophy. Or at the very least, you can try to find a private company that is willing to hire you to do some “philosopher” job. (Don’t forget to make sure the company does have a legitimate business need to hire a philosopher, this is important!)
If you cannot satisfy any of these requirements, then, I must say I feel truly sorry for you dear, but I have to duly inform you the cruel truth, that our great uncle Sam does not welcome you, and please GET OUT!
