A Lack of Transparency is the Ultimate Bait & Switch in Dating
If you aren’t being authentic, you’re being manipulative.
We’re making dating harder than it needs to be. I’ve given this a lot of thought. Here’s what happens: Two people go out on a date. They both present their best selves. They might even fudge the truth just a little or put a gloss over a story that might otherwise show some human frailty. Both people show up with the hope that the other person is going to check all of their boxes, and sometimes, checking those boxes requires being creative with truth.
Lying. It’s called lying.
Sometimes, the lie is outright, but much of the time, it’s in the information that’s omitted — information that they are aware would be a check in the box against them if they revealed it. We get the information we want — but not the information we need. The decisions we make at the start of the relationship are the ones based on the very limited information we’re getting from a potentially unreliable source.
