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Gift Ideas for Your Kids If You Really Hate Your Downstairs Neighbor
Never mind the children’s wishes, this is about revenge.
Oh, apartment living. It seemed like such a dream– affordable rent, no responsibility for outdoor maintenance, and a close community of neighbors. Somehow it never occurred to you that those neighbors could be miserable curmudgeons who scowl at your children, leave rude post-it notes on your door, and bash your floor from below with a broomstick.
You tried to be pleasant. You baked cookies for your downstairs neighbors when you moved in. They scoffed and turned them down. “We’re allergic!” They claimed, even though you hadn’t told them yet what kind you made.
Now, there’s nothing left to do but wage war. Passive aggression is key to this battle. There’s no room for civilized conversation and agreed-upon quiet hours. This is your home, and you should be free to stomp! And as the upstairs neighbor, you have the upper hand — or foot!
The best approach is subtle. Maintain your ability to feign innocence. It’s a double win if you can make your kid happy and your neighbor’s blood boil at the same time! What better move than to gift your children the most obnoxious toys imaginable?
Here are some gift ideas to get you started:
A Bowling Set
That long hallway of yours is just dying to become a bowling alley! A plastic set is fine — better for your floors too. Sure, authentic wooden pins are heavy, but the hollow toy pins have a nice bounce to them when they clatter to the floor. Make it a tournament and get the whole family involved in the game — the more the merrier for you, and the more the madder for the downstairs Scrooge.
A Ride-on Firetruck
Sweet siren of joy, this toy is loud. Push toys are always great, but emergency vehicles with sound effects are even better. Rickety tires zooming across squeaky floors are sure to trigger your neighbor’s rage. Really embrace pretend play with your kiddo. Set up a fire station above your neighbor’s bedroom. Perhaps a hospital too? Right above their cozy living room.
