All For The Winner 賭聖
Trying my best to make sense of nonsense in this popular God of Gamblers 賭神 parody, starring Stephen Chow 周星馳.
Introducing the other Chow man I grew up on: Mr. Stephen Chow 周星馳, the king of ’90s HK comedy. While Chow Yun-fat 周潤發 was a benchmark of cool bad-assery and charm, Stephen Chow was a lesson in word-twisting, gut-busting absurdity. Canto humour is already hard to translate. His particular brand of Canto humour — “mo lei tau 冇厘頭” (which basically means “makes no sense”) — is, as its name plainly states, even harder. Its mix of lewd, crude, and witty is very specific to Hong Kong culture and reliant on Cantonese wordplay. In terms of North American counterparts, it reminds me of David Wain’s brand of smart stupidity and deadpan delivery (e.g., Wet Hot American Summer).
But what about Shaolin Soccer 少林足球? Kung Fu Hustle 功夫?? Western audiences loved those! Yeah, but a large part of the comedy was physical and visual rather than verbal. Which isn’t bad, but it’s not mo lei tau in all its glory.
All For The Winner 賭聖 was a breakout film for Chow. A parody of God of Gamblers 賭神, I don’t get why the English title isn’t Saint of Gamblers. Anyway, he didn’t write it (Jeffrey Lau 劉鎮偉, the co-director, got the screenplay credit.), which makes me wonder about the other people who contributed to mo lei tau. Along with Lau, a couple other writers I see pop up frequently in Chow’s movies are Lee Lik-chi 李力持 and Vincent Kok 谷德昭 (SFU Communication alum btw!). My limited Cantonese and the lack of English-written articles/English-subtitled YouTube interviews/podcasts make it hard for me to dive deeper into this. Not to say I haven’t tried, guys. Kok was on an episode of 24HERBS 廿四味’s 24/7TALK and I listened to all 94 minutes of it, but I had to pause every eight seconds to repeat phrases into Pleco to translate, LOL. I didn’t learn much about mo lei tau, but he shared some great insights on being a director and now I hope to decorate the walls in my home with personally written words of wisdom from my mentors and idols someday like he does. Oh, and his story about him and Stephen Chow meeting Tarantino was a fun anecdote too!
I digress. Plot summary from IMDb:
A man discovers that his dumb, lovable nephew can see through objects and decides to unleash him into the world of gambling.
But not only can Chow Sing Cho (“Ah Sing”, played by Stephen Chow 周星馳) see through objects, he can also change playing cards by rubbing them — a technique that I would often try employing when playing Big Two 鋤大D at recess to, no surprise, no avail. Changing stuff renders him powerless for two to four weeks though, so he taps into that ability sparingly.
Ng Man-tat 吳孟達 is the man who plays his uncle, or “Blackie Tat” as the subtitles name him because in Canto, it’s「黑仔達」, which is a literal translation where「黑仔」is “Black Young Man” and「達」 is “Tat”(his given name). Except「黑仔」is slang for an unlucky person, so really it should be “Unlucky Tat”, but I’m just gonna call him “Uncle Tat” because I don’t think “Blackie” works in this climate, and uhhh… I cannot confirm if「黑仔」as “unlucky” is um… inspired by skin colour, but I cannot deny the possibility either, so, “Uncle Tat” it is!
Another thing that doesn’t work in this climate? The rape jokes. Uncle Tat has some congenital disorder that makes him lose all control when Ah Sing calls him “uncle”. But he retains no memory of what he’s done. This sets up many moments of Uncle Tat dry-humping people around him, including one where his friend, Luk (played by Lo Yuen-yan 盧宛茵), who has a crush on him, actually tries to get close to him so she can get humped.
Ah Sing’s from the mainland so he’s a bit of a bumpkin. When his uncle admonishes him about his perm looking like a wig, Ah Sing sheepishly says he thought it was fashionable…
He also doesn’t know or care much about gambling. But Uncle Tat does! He drags him to a gambling den where they clean house, angering the other gamblers and the guys who run the place. This leads to a fight in the alley. Uncle Tat gets knocked out, but Ah Sing gets to kick ass!
Uncle Tat comes to and scolds his nephew for risking a head injury and putting his superpowers at risk by fighting back. As his uncle, he should be the one protecting him, so if this ever happens again, the first thing Ah Sing should do is run. Catching sight of a second wave of angry men over his uncle’s shoulder, Ah Sing nods and runs away. He nearly gets hit by an oncoming convertible, but thanks to some quick thinking, he dives into the back just as it speeds off.
The woman behind the wheel is Yee Mong (played by Sharla Cheung 張敏, who also played Janet, the wife of God of Gamblers 賭神). “Yee mong 綺夢” is a “pleasant and romantic dream”. Wiki says it’s a euphemism for “wet dream”, but I couldn’t find anything legit online to back that up. Good ol’ Pleco tells me “mong wai 夢遺” is “wet dream” in Canto, but in Mando, it’s pronounced “meng yi”, which is very close to “Yee Mong”, so… maybe?! I am spending a lot of time trying to figure out a maybe-dick-joke. This is my brain. For better or for worse, it can’t move on until things make sense.
Yee Mong is also trying to get away, but she runs out of gas and the men who are after her come out of their cars with their pipes, meat cleavers, and machetes in hand. Ruh-roh! Looks like a triad. Ah Sing asks why they’re after her. She confesses she killed their boss. He tries to reason with them, explaining how he understands their anger. When he was three, he lost his older brother, too. Ha! Because “boss” and “big brother” are both “dai lo 大佬”. The men have no time for his nonsense (Literally! #NOleitau). Yee Mong responds with a flying dropkick (I wish I had that response at the ready!) and a fight ensues. Eager to jump in and help, Ah Sing winds up to to unleash his inner Bruce Lee again, but bad-ass Billy (played by Wan Yeung-ming 尹揚明) beats him to the punch.
As Billy and Yee Mong continue kicking ass, Ah Sing tries to get her attention and prove his valiance.
With the men defeated, Billy grabs Yee Mong’s hand and they take off on his bike. She waves goodbye and, in the most bizarre bit of this entire movie, Ah Sing is completely captivated by the mole in her armpit.
Uncle Tat and Ah Sing receive an invitation to meet with Hung Kwong (“Hung”, played by Paul Chun 秦沛), a prominent gangster who’s also known as the King of Gamblers. But with his powers in sleep mode after having changed the number on a horse-racing ticket for Luk to help pay for her daughter’s surgery, Ah Sing doesn’t think there’s a point. Uncle Tat says no problem. All that matters is he look the part. He demonstrates some fancy card shuffling tricks for Ah Sing to show off, pulls out a suit, and dubs him “dou sing 賭聖”, the Saint of Gamblers! Ah Sing’s like, “And which ‘sing’ do you mean? Like how would I spell my surname?” because “saint 聖” and “surname 姓” are homonyms. Uncle Tat retorts, “Sing beng 性病!”, which is “STD” with “性” being another homonym. HA. Sorry, English speakers. I really am just translating for my own knowledge and pleasure here, but Jesus Christ. Cantonese is a ridiculous language and the way Chow and his cohorts wield it in their movies is inspiring.
Anyway, Uncle Tat suggests Ah Sing take cues from the God of Gamblers 賭神. He hands him a trench coat (Mark Gor Lau 哥褸! CYF is an influence on so many levels.) and tries to get him to put on hair wax which Ah Sing refuses. With his lewk locked down, Tat expresses the importance of posture and plays him a video of the God of Gamblers 賭神 making his entrance.
At the meeting, Ah Sing struggles to keep appearances as Hung insists on seeing him gamble. Without his powers, he loses fast and quick. But then! Yee Mong, who turns out to be Hung’s henchwoman, appears, and his powers are instantly restored. He wastes no time in showing off his abilities. And dance moves.
Hung’s rival, Chan Chung (“Chan”, played by Jeffrey Lau 劉鎮偉 — yep, the writer and co-director), finds out about Ah Sing’s supernatural abilities too and wants to pay him a whole lotta money to represent Taiwan at the International King of Gamblers Tournament. This pisses Hung off as he wanted the boy on his team! So he sends Billy, Yee Mong, and his men to Chan’s place in the only way a HK gangster knows how: in over-the-top, guns-blazing John-Woo 吳宇森 style!
Chan, Ah Sing, and Uncle Tat end up completely cornered by the ambush. It also doesn’t help that Chan’s men are dressed in white. But then!
Turns out, Yee Mong is actually Chan’s henchwoman.
As they escape, Yee Mong runs into Billy and shoots him in the leg to stop him from going after them. Chan orders her to finish him off, but she insists on sparing him for saving her in the past. Got to have a code.
And then they make it to regionals! I mean, the International King of Gamblers Tournament! Ah Sing moves through the early rounds easily and spends all his spare time with Yee Mong, trying to win over. But when she gets kidnapped by Hung’s men, he stops showing up to his matches. Without Yee Mong, he’s miserable and powerless. Uncle Tat decides Ah Sing just needs a new muse and suggests their friend, Ping (played by Sandra Ng 吳君如). It works! …But not in the way any of them would’ve expected.
Just like Yee Mong, Ping’s got a mole under her armpit. But it’s not enough they share that in common. Oh, no. Instead, Ah Sing becomes convinced that The Mole is Yee Mong. Ping, after Uncle Tat promises a share of the winnings, agrees to go along with the insanity.
They even go to the beach for some sun.
I know. It’s ludicrous. I’m amazed, confused, and weirded out by it all at once?! Thankfully, the bit stays G-rated and we go back to gambling and Ah Sing winning with his powers restored. He advances to the finals to face Hung. But on the night before the big match, they return to their flat and find Ping’s boyfriend, Shing (played by Corey Yuen 元奎, also the co-director. Look at these guys doing everything!), packing up. He can’t keep watching Ping parade around with her armpit for money. He criticizes Uncle Tat for using his nephew as some kind of golden-egg-laying goose, and Ah Sing for using his powers to get girls and money instead of helping the less fortunate. Ouch. Tru dat, double tru.
Uncle Tat goes to Ah Sing’s bedroom later to apologize. He admits he let his his poor upbringing and desire for financial security for the both of them blind him. Unfortunately, his nephew isn’t there to hear any of it as he finds a note from Ah Sing, informing him he’s decided to return to China to avoid causing any more trouble, but he hopes his uncle will come visit. Aww, what! Guys, this movie has been so goofy and outrageous that I didn’t even think about the emotional stakes. I was fine with just jokes! And here they go, inserting some heart into it all.
Ping and Shing rush out to find Ah Sing while Uncle Tat must deal with Chan. Despite the fact that Ah Sing’s letter says he’s going back to China, no one checks the train station. Instead, they follow a guy who Ping recognizes as one of Hung’s men to see if Ah Sing’s been captured and discover the hideout where Yee Mong is being kept. They decide to help break her out in hopes that Chan will forgive whatever debt Uncle Tat owes. (By the way, it’s total bullshit that Chan hasn’t even tried to find Yee Mong since she disappeared, especially since he raised her after her parents died when she was small!?) As they make their escape, they run into Billy, who offers to drive them. (Okay, I know he’s not as lovable as Ah Sing, but Billy actually seems like the better match. He doesn’t put her on a pedestal. And well, I don’t imagine he’d mistake a mole for Yee Mong. Or even settle for that!)
Meanwhile at the tournament, Chan tries to stall for time, but makes it clear to Uncle Tat that if Ah Sing fails to show, he’s getting snipped! (What is it about castration as a go-to threat in HK movies?) As the clock winds down, Hung grows more and more smug. They’re about to declare him as the winner by default when…
Hung walks up to Ah Sing to shake his hand, but really it’s to hand him Yee Mong’s earring in an attempt to strip his confidence and, more importantly, powers. It works. Realizing he can’t win on skill, Ah Sing bets on luck.
With only 15 minutes left in the game, Hung has no choice but to finally give in. He ends up holding a flush. Ah Sing, holding three Aces, needs a fourth to win. He draws a three of spades. Oh, no. So close, yet so far away. In a last-ditch effort, he squishes the card between his palms and rubs with all his might.
But then!
Awwwwwww yeah. This is it.
Nooooooooo. Hung, smug AF, flips over his final card for the win.
Das right, he ended up changing Hung’s card instead! Hooray! Everyone is thrilled. Except for Hung, of course, who ends up being dragged away by security. Ah Sing finds Shing in the crowd and tells him he was right and from now on, he’ll only use his powers to help people in need. He then turns to Yee Mong and thanks her for spending time with him but he knows it was just business for her and that they’re from two different worlds. She agrees. He’s a world-class gambler now and she’s just an ordinary girl, but she hopes he’ll give her one last chance to have dinner together. Ah Sing chuckles as they perform the ancient ritual of shaking hands. Then immediately asks when, where, what should he wear, and what kind of food.
THE END!
And that, my friends, if our first look at Stephen Chow and mo lei tau! Looking forward to seeing how both evolve, and whether or not my Canto and understanding of the verbal jokes gets better. I gotta admit, I was surprised by that final card reveal, LOL. Well-played. Now, can we just get Ah Sing to rub 2020 and make everything better?
