Mansplaining

21. When you have a daughter you will become a feminist

Because What The F#%k?!

18. Green poo — too much foremilk

Your baby mumma is more exhausted than usual

7. You feel an affinity with wheelchair users.

They can’t walk. Neither can wheelchair users.

7. Wheelies of the world unite!

Babies can’t walk. Neither can wheelchair users.

3. Three wipes is enough

Any nappy-change can be completed using three baby wipes or fewer — you just wipe, fold, wipe, fold until the job is done.

Any nappy that requires more than three baby wipes will require about half a packet.

2. Adhesive hooks do not work well on the ceiling

And they work even less well if you have wipe-clean paint.

It’s great to have something above the cot for the baby to look at — it helps them to fall asleep and gives them…

1. Clean the highchair before the baby

The order of operations is important.

Clean the highchair tray first — that stops the baby from re-contaminating themselves — then clean the baby’s hands, then face.