How trial makes or breaks our relationships
Ever notice that your best, or at least most interesting, stories with others are the ones that involve some sort of trial?
Like the one where you and your best friend were taken on a wild cab ride in the middle of the night in a foreign country (okay, okay, it was only Canada).
Or the time you drove to Niagara Falls in the winter through a snow storm. Or maybe when you drove 12 hours to stay in Asheville for 12 hours and then drove home 12 hours after that.
You don’t remember all the times when things went right, you’re more likely to remember the times that were difficult or where things didn’t go according to plan.
These are relationship-shifting moments. How will your friendship react to the trial?
Trials Cause Bonding
Whenever you endure a trial with someone and you all manage to survive without wanting to rip each other’s heads off, that trial becomes a bonding experience.
You suffer together, sit bored together, get lost together, or run away together. These moments can be stressful, but if you can handle the pressure, it will turn your grain of friendship into a pearl.
When you’re in a situation that might be deemed a trial, try to stay mindful of the present moment, so you won’t act based on anxiety or emotion. Acting on feelings will cause situations to rapidly turn unstable, which is how a positive bonding experience like a road trip becomes a damaging moment in the friendship.
Trials Cause Division
At the same time, where some relationships become stronger, others bend and break.
Sometimes, situations get really out of control and one person or the other lashes out or breaks down.
These moments can crack apart a friendship that isn’t forged from strong stuff. Some points of instability and potential conflict include:
- The friendship is new.
- The friendship has had conflict before.
- You and your friend hold inflammatory opposing opinions.
Now, these are not reasons to avoid trial and travel with people. You may have a great bonding experience or the tattered remains of your friendship will go up in flames.
You never really know. You never know when something run-of-the-mill will turn into a trial. Just take a breath or two before you react to a situation. It could save a friendship.
Want more daily wisdom?
This is part of a daily challenge where I write 100 words (minimum) per day for 100 days check out some of my favorite posts from the series:
