#2/30: Self Help
How I transformed Loneliness to Solitude[2/3]
From thoughts of a Murderer to of a Clown.
The paragraphs mentioned below will give you an overview of why I became lonely in the first place. If you don’t want any ‘Sad-Story’ B.S. Just skip a few of these paragraphs.
In the Year 2018, we just entered 11th Grade; I had 3 friends(in total).
In class, we were ‘that’ group; which other students were afraid of. We were infamous for our ‘witty’ comments and delinquent pranks. Looking back, I feel ashamed of who I was, but one can not erase the past. So here we are.
I was the “studious” member of our group; hence I was responsible for clearing any doubts for those 3 numbnuts. And I did it for 2 years but, things weren’t the same in the 11th standard.
One day, I refused to explain one topic to one of my ‘friend’ as I had to complete my own work. And boy-o-boy, the snakes started to shed their skins.
The very next day, I was out of the so-called ‘friend group’. They used curse words for me and my family. I was ridiculed. I was left ALONE.
The 2 most important years of a student’s life became a living nightmare for me. Thoughts went dark. But I never thought of harming myself; I wanted to harm them. I wanted to kill them for how they were treating me.
School Ended. The Pain followed.
I was addicted to my phone, which I used as a coping mechanism; to escape reality. The bitter reality of being alone.
My screentime went to almost 15–16 hrs per day. Filled with exciting aimless scrolling of Instagram, and feasting my eyes on pointless YouTube videos.
The Beauty of Books
My brother intervened. Took my phone away for a week and provided me with these books, which were going to change my life for good. Now, for a person who hasn’t read a single page of any book in his lifetime. These 2 thick books felt like climbing a mountain; bare feet.
But as I didn’t have anything else to do, I gave it a try. It took me 5 days to complete ‘The Magic of Thinking Big’, an impressive book indeed. It made me lose my ‘helpless’ mindset. It only took me 10 hours to complete the ‘Steve Jobs’ biography. I was flabbergasted. I didn’t know that I had the potential of completing a 400 page book in a day.
Fell in Love with Music
I started listening to music that I never heard before. That includes the marvelous creations of Yanni. Just listen to this piece, ‘The Storm’ by Yanni.
Whether it was 80’s soulful Bollywood music or those delightful Ghazals. I heard it all. And believe me, music does have some magic.
Played Around with words
After listening to hours and hours of breath-taking lyrics, it was my time to work my way through some. I wrote. I wrote my first poem, one Hindi, one English. I wrote a Ghazal. Every piece was applauded by the listener.
Son of a B*tch, he was here
So, this cutie-pie was here. He helped a lot in improving my situation. He listens. He doesn’t judge. His eyes are so captivating.
So, that was my story of defeating Loneliness and embrace Solitude.
You could read how you can do the same: Turning Loneliness to Solitude: A Guide[1/3]
The next story would suggest how you could face the feeling of loneliness and eradicate it from within.
Thanks for reading. Did you know that you can press the clap button more than once? Go try it out, I won’t mind.
