Mental Illness and Abuse

The perceived link between mental illness and abuse has been something that was unavoidable throughout my life, and has been something I’ve struggled to comprehend for the majority of my life. I’ve fluctuated to both extremes, and finally, I settled on a middle ground, one filled with indefinite answers, but that respects both abuse victims and the mentally ill.

See, this is a touchy issue for me personally, because I exist on both ends of the spectrum. I am mentally ill, and one of my mental illnesses, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), is one of the most stigmatized mental illnesses, as those who have it are viewed as being manipulative by nature. People with BPD are looked down on as being bad people because their symptoms include heavy emotional reactions, such as anger or sadness, and a fear of abandonment, that can cause people with the disorder to rely heavily on others.

I also suffer from Schizoaffective Disorder (SZA), as mentioned in a previous article, which is viewed as a scary and violent due to the fact it involves psychosis. Psychosis, such as hallucinations and delusions, is a condition that is depicted all across our lives as rare and frightening, someone who bears the potential to become a murderer, which is simply false.

Yet, at the same time, I’m also an abuse survivor, and I suffer from Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) as a result of my abuse. C-PTSD is a disorder that comes from long-lasting abuse, as opposed to experiencing a single amount of traumatic incidents. Since my abuse lasted through the majority of my life, and took on many different forms, I was diagnosed with C-PTSD, as opposed to PTSD in general. It’s very likely that my abuser is mentally ill himself, and therefore this issue rings close to my heart as I try to sort through who is and is not to blame for abuse involving mentally ill people.

In Defense of The Mentally Ill

Mental illness is horribly stereotyped in our society, and the stigma that surrounds these disorders is one of the many reasons it’s so difficult for those suffering to get the support they need. The portrayal of mental illness in the media (“Stop Walking on Eggshells”), in our colloquialisms (he’s “crazy”), and even within individual interactions with others (bosses, the legal system, etc.) is filled with ableism, which is defined as “a set of practices and beliefs that assign inferior value (worth) to people who have developmental, emotional, physical or psychiatric disabilities“. The stereotype of violent mentally ill people consumes our society, even though the Canadian Mental Health Association has found the following:

• Estimating the rate of violent behaviour by people with mental illnesses is complex, and a definitive causal relationship between violence and mental illnesses has not been established. There are challenges due to definitions, data gaps and technical issues related to the reliability, consistency and generalizability of available data.
• People with mental health conditions experience stigma, discrimination and social exclusion that significantly impacts on their lives, including fears that they may be violent.
• People with serious mental illnesses are more likely to be victims of violence themselves, than the general population.
• Freedom from violence and discrimination promotes positive mental health and well-being.
  Media reporting and portrayals contribute to public misperceptions about the relationship between violence and people with mental illnesses.

So, not only is there no true correlation between mental illness and violence, but the stigma surrounding violence also causes those who are mentally ill to be at a higher risk for experiencing violence themselves. Obviously, this is a huge issue for those who suffer from mental disorders, and the lack of genuine understanding of mental illness is the cause of many problems for those with mental disorders.

The stigma surrounding mental illness is also one of the reasons that the mentally ill are unable to get help. For instance, think of how many times a serial killer is post-diagnosed with a mental illness because of the stereotypes that go along with their behaviors. Someone who shoots up a school is referred to as insane, or psycho, or other ableist slurs, which promotes the ideology that people who do bad things must be mentally ill, which is not true. Diagnosing people with disorders because they have done something bad is equating mental illness with bad behavior, which is unfair to the mentally ill community, a largely nonviolent community that is simply trying to survive in this ableist, unsafe, world.

There are symptoms of mental illness that may seem abnormal, or strenuous to deal with, but that does not make them abusive. Abuse is an action that hurts another person; being clingy, distant, apathetic, or psychotic does not make someone abusive. Of course, if these symptoms go unchecked, they can become harmful, but there is nothing naturally negative about mental illness or it’s symptoms.

Since we’ve made it clear clear that mental illness does not inherently make you abusive, what about the times that someone is mentally ill and abusive? Where do you lay the blame?

In Defense of The Abused

The short answer is that abuse is the fault of the abuser, but there’s a lot of semantics that complicate and distort that seemingly basic fact. Though a good portion of abuse is done knowingly, and that abuse is something that is unforgivable at best and downright despicable at worst, there is still a lot of gray area when it comes to the psychology of abusers.

For instance, can abuse be unintentional? The short answer is yes, abuse can be, and often is, unintentional, meaning that the abuser does not intentionally plan to hurt the one they are abusing. In situations where abuse is intentional, it is much easier to chalk the abuse up to a “the abuser is the problem” mindset, because even if their destructive behavior is caused by mental illness, they are responsible for handling their disorder in a way that allows them to be a good partner.

Abuse is defined as “a repetitive pattern of behaviors to maintain power and control… behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want”. Abuse also comes in several different forms, such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, and so on. Any of these forms of abuse can be done unintentionally, to a degree, and mental illness can certainly cloud the judgement of someone to the point they may not recognize their behavior as abusive.

Abuse is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can experience, and those who experience abuse often come out of the situation with lifelong wounds that can be physical, mental, and/or emotional. Abuse victims are more likely to partake in substance abuse, as well as to develop different mental disorders, such as anxiety disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, and dissociative disorders. There is no excuse for traumatizing someone, and it is completely fair for abuse victims to want to hold their abusers accountable for their crimes.

So, where does that leave us with mental illness and abuse?

The Intersection of Mental Illness and Abuse

We’ve made it clear that mental illness doesn’t cause abuse, in fact, mental illness makes you more likely to become/have been a victim of abuse. We’ve also made it clear that intentional abuse is something that is incredibly harmful

So, with unintentional abuse, everything becomes a bit more hazy. Though unintentional abuse is still abuse, it usually does not hold the same bearing of guilt on the abuser. It is natural and completely acceptable for an abuse victim to blame their abuser, and their lack of knowledge does not excuse their actions, their mental illness can provide an explanation for their behavior. Now, it is important to note that an explanation is not an excuse, by any means.

I think that’s what abuse and mental illness boils down to — the difference between an abusers mental disorders working as an explanation or an excuse. Though one’s behavior can often be explained by their mental illness, that does not mean that they are exempt from taking responsibility. Everyone is required to be accountable for their behavior, especially after their behavior is pointed out to them. But mental illness is not inherently abusive, and the behavior of those who are mentally ill does not automatically equate to abuse, even if that behavior may seem questionable to others.

It’s an explanation, not an excuse.