What if I’ve been wrong all along and this whole thing is not a game?
What if life is as serious as you thought it was before we met. Let’s suppose it is. Then you must get back to your duty to live. You must defend your beliefs and destroy those who challenge it. You must wage war on lesser people and lesser things. You must ensure that your way of seeing things spreads and that you conquer nature so that it serves you. Once you have done all of that you must make sure that this way of life that you created sustains itself. And you go on and on. Then you die. Don’t you suppose that this too is a game? …
What happens if we took away everything from the man made reality and just let people be? Assuming that there was enough food and water and shelter and this and that, what would we do? Isn’t it obvious. We would sing, we would dance, we would make art and we would throw outrageous parties.
“When you’re in a new city, you should feel excitement. I don’t. I feel tense. I feel anxious. I don’t know things and I feel like something might go terribly wrong.” Chaaya took a few deep breaths. …
“The chains of freedom too expensive for me
Money trees and paper ambitions are the soul of me
Shackles of trading companies to the east follow me
Keep me hungry so in my sleep I cannot dream I only think,
real motivation is family
Cause pictures of a perfect family trip only make believe
Each filter more than a thousand words, more like infinity
My only gift to the generation after me”
S he pressed send. Her words landed like raw meat in an alligator infested swamp. It was being re-shared, quoted, belittled and loved. Within an hour one user had posted a tattoo of the poem on her rib cage. Maadi had cut her hair short. It was dark brown. She felt the ends brush against her neck as she leaned back in her chair. She lived in a different city now but when she looked outside she saw the same tiny streets, dirt embellished window sills and cracked walls you saw in any city. She thought about Lenning and how he was the only human person she might have known. …
Do you confuse emptiness with nothingness?
Observe water. It contains nothing yet it is not empty. Nothing we see or hear can exist in isolation. It is a manifestation of some kind of relationship between the elements around it. When you decide to invoke the feeling of emptiness beware that it doesn’t mean that you are void. Seeing the world as barren is you reaching out to grasp something that isn’t there. You should have learned better than that by now.
M aadi was hanging out with the boys when she began to notice the eyes again. They were at a bar. She sat with Shinki, Ray and Beat. They wore thin oversized polyester jackets with neon patterns. People around them kept glancing at Maadi. But no one seemed to notice except her. Maadi’s 1.0 kept flashing and notifications were pouring in. There were messages from people, bots and companies. They were all the same. They read 😴 dreamland . …
When you have lived long enough you realize that this life is a constant onslaught of unpleasant experiences.
So what do you do?
You undertake an extreme journey to cleanse yourself of all the reasons you suffer. But this is of course, a futile act. Your motivation spoils the project. An ego centric being is always his/her own trap. You clearly haven’t observed things close enough. If you did, you would see that the trapped and trap are one. How can you rid yourself of you?
To understand suffering consider its source. The first part of suffering is a failure to understand the universal essence which is impermanence. Nothing is immune to change. There isn’t a single thing you can hang on to for safety, so why do you constantly try? The second part is considering the you that is attempting this. If everything is in a state of change there is no you. Change is a peculiar word. It means continues evolution. The ‘you’ you identify is simply a process of change. …
S aison landed in Burma. It was warm and his suit was woolen. The sounds of Rangoon were alien to him. He walked into a cacophony of chattering Burmese locals, automobile humming and old speakers blasting music against each other.
“Lola, turn on my Burmese package. I can’t understand anything here.” “Lola?” he called “I’m offline.” he said out loud but none of the vendors really cared. They had seen many mad men before. He stared at his arm. There were no notifications. Just his skin. It was strange to see his flesh like that.
“If I die here no one will know.” He thought to himself. He saw a fruit he hadn’t eaten in a while; custard apple. It was delicious and quite messy to eat. He bought some of it and asked locals about the lab which was a great idea; it wasn’t too far. He walked east and warmed up to the idea of being lost. …
You are god but you are playing that you are not.
I don’t mean God in the sense of being the creator but god in the idea that you are the essence of creation. You are it as much as it is you. If you could go to bed every night and dream a dream of a lifetime.
What you dream of? Countless pleasures….all your materialistic desires fulfilled. What if you did this every night? You would reach a point where the dreams would start to bore you. You’ll want a surprise. You’ll dream of something unexpected. You’d wake up the next day with a “Wow! That was exciting.” Then you’d keep playing this game of not knowing. Your dreams would go beyond your wildest imagination. They would take you to the point where extremes meet. Maybe to the point where you completely disappear into the dream. …
If you are ready to wake up, you will wake up. Or maybe you want to toy with the idea of waking up. Tease yourself a bit. If this whole thing was terribly serious all the time how would you have any inclination to do it?
I t was 5 in the morning. Maadi was still awake. She was writing poetry. She had never been published but she always pretended no to care. “Just uploaded my 459th one.” She said lazily.
She saw a red beep, there was a message from an encrypted listing site. “Are you sure about this?” Maadi had asked Lola with concern. She wasn’t comfortable with jobs from deep web websites. It had too many ill informed people hiding behind too much anonymity. …
Are you striving to control things?
What are you trying to control?
Your ego has about as much control over what goes on as a child next to its father in a car with a plastic steering wheel that is turning the car the way daddy drives it. The circumstances of life have nothing to do with your ego at all.*
Control is logical fallacy. Like you cannot look up at the sky and control the clouds, you cannot decide the outcome of your efforts. The attempt of a species to devise an experience of life with perceived control is cause for a sense of misplacement. It is easier to feel alien in a universe if you impose your own reality. …
Why do you exist? Is it your duty to be alive, to take a name, to be part of a family or to dream of a future you?
Albert Camus says The fundamentally important philosophical question is whether or not to commit suicide. It’s a great question to ask yourself; is your life worth living? Because if you don’t think it is, why are you doing it? What are you scared of? Death perhaps. Maybe you live because you haven’t considered not living. But you must pick. If you want to be alive, then really be alive. If you stay in doubt of this everything around you falls apart. It’s like when you take a step. You can’t take a half step. …