A Living Flame

You know I imagine we’re born as slight flickers of flame. A small flame, but a light no matter. Just as a candle is in the dark. As we grow that flame is fed by love, knowledge, relationships, and our decisions. The older we get, the more the flame expands, to a fire, and eventually a blaze. The bigger our flame, the more we illuminate those around us. The grander the illumination the more that fire is spread to help expand other flames.

But here’s where things differ. At some point all forms of flame will be extinguished. Whether it be through the slow burning out of the embers and coals of a once bright blaze, by our own subtle or abrupt doing, or by the sudden unexpected dousing of Nature’s rain. A rain that can also signify renewal and rebirth. No matter the cause or action, with any of these methods the extinguishing of the metaphysical flame is final. However with the spiritual flame, though the individual fire is gone, the flames divide, and are transferred to those who benefited from their original illumination. In turn the individual fires of those beneficiaries grow a little brighter. Thus showing that though one’s spiritual flame may be extinguished, the flames from their fire continue to glow brighter within our own ignited souls.

What remains to be seen are the remnants of reminisce, the cinders and ash of memory. These are the signs and symbols that one lived. An indelible mark on the spiritual walking grounds of our lives. For to have those ashen memories a flame must have first been lit, and then fed. These blackened remnants may be spread and buried, but the individual cinders collectively will remain. We then are able to return in the days, weeks, months and years proceeding and recall those pits of nostalgia, and memory. Then, if only for a time, we can rekindle the logs of friendship and love, and spark from within the flame of the departed.

I ’ve recently been to witness to a few extinguished flames. Far too many, but then again even one is too much. They aren’t any easier the older you get. In fact on the contrary. You grow up within the light and illumination of these “spiritual fires”. Gaining warmth from the love, and protection from the flames of family and friendship. Afterward, it’s cold with grief for awhile, until you realize your fire is still burning along with those around you. For most, from that point on you continue to burn for those departed flames, and they continue to radiate within you.

Above: The photos above contain snapshots from the earlier flames of my life; all of which retain one individual each, who provided to me, an illumination that now no longer burns. Left: Little League Soccer picture circa 1999. I’m in the middle row on the far left. The boy on the left in the front touching the soccer ball is Devon Bercot. Aside from playing soccer, I used to ride the bus to and from school with him. His fire was doused on March 2, 2013. He was 21. Middle: All-Ohio State Fair Youth Choir circa July/Aug 2007. South side men’s dorm of the Rhodes Center on the Ohio Expo Center/Ohio State Fairgrounds. I’m in the “twisted” shirt. The young man in the middle (in the green shirt) beside Kaleb (in the white), and holding A.J. (in the yellow) on his shoulder is Daniel A. Duncan. His spiritual fire was doused by the rain of a drunk driver on Sept. 3, 2008. I only knew him for a total of two-and-a-half weeks, but I was able to benefit from light of his friendship. He was 18. Right: Confirmation Day, St. John’s United Church of Christ (Coshocton) circa 2005/06?. I’m in the back row on the right in a white robe to the left Rev. Lance in the blue. I still have the tan shawl and the red carnation pinned to it that I wore that day, folded on one of my bookshelves. The girl to the left of me is Nadine Corder. Her flame was also extinguished in a car accident on Nov. 26, 2014, along with her 4 year old son Aries, and later her grandfather Phil (64). She was 21

One of those many departed flames, who was, in metaphoric actuality, a blazing fire, was Chester Bennington, one of the lead singers, of one of my favorite bands since Junior High, Linkin park. From the flames of his fire were sparked the songs he wrote for Linkin Park’s latest album “One More Light” that came out earlier this year. The title song “One More Light” seemed to speak to where I felt my current internal thoughts were coming from.

The reminders pull the floor from your feet
In the kitchen, one more chair than you need oh
And you’re angry, and you should be, it’s not fair
Just ’cause you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it, isn’t there

If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We’re quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do

“One More Light” - Linkin Park

I do. I do care. I care about those flickers of light. We should nurture those lights, those flames of us. If we don’t, then this world goes to shit. Though it isn’t like it we aren’t already heading that way in some manners. This world doesn’t have to go to shit though. We can, and should, care for each other, kindle our fires, be illuminated and illuminate those of our friends, and families, and acquaintances, and colleagues, and coworkers, and teachers, and students, and bullies, and felons, and those with disabilities and mental issues.

“After all if growing up is war, then those friends who grew up with you deserve a special respect. The ones who stuck by you shoulder to shoulder in a time when nothing is certain when all life lay ahead and every road led home.”

― Kevin Arnold (The Wonder Years)

Children, adults, elders, pets and other animals, celebrities, common people, Republicans, Democrats, Independents, Jews, Muslims, Christians, Atheists, Satanist's, Bahá’ís, Buddhists, Hindus, Taoists, animists, spiritualists, men, women, Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, Pansexuals, Trans People, Blacks, whites, Arabs, Asians, Latinos, Islanders, Natives, leaders, followers, middle-of-the-roads, bystanders, rich, poor, middle class, we are all flames, parts of a larger fire that is constantly burning.

Let us continue to feed it by helping each other. Lets be more empathetic and useful, and less selfish and cynical. Be understanding, listen to each other. Give compliments, and accept criticism. Call those you haven’t talked to in a while. Send handwritten letters. Encourage everyone. Give hugs, say I love you to more than just your family and significant others. Watch movies, listen to good music, write, read, walk, run, pause and reflect. Do what your heart yearns for. Power through the difficult times. Burn for others, burn for yourself. You are a living flame. Spark the conversation, and watch it bloom.

You can waste your money on unnecessary things, and earn it all back through hard work or luck. However, if you wast your time, you can’t get that back. I have a quote I wrote out awhile ago that’s taped to the window sill above my bed.

“The only true regrettable sin of childhood’s youth, is growing up.”

Meaning, we’re only young for so long before the wonder and comfort of our present state is replaced by the next step on the path of aging that takes it’s place. This applies to all walks of life. We’re getting older every second of every minute of every day. We should cherish our time while we can. So, forget about the pains and grievances of yesterday. They have strong grips, but for good reason. To be pained and to grieve, is to have known comfort. Tears and sadness are evidence, that the strongest force in the world, love, has, and ever still, exists. Don’t worry about tomorrow, it isn’t here yet. But today is now. So carpe diem! Seize the day! Be in the moment. Be well, and live. Just Live.

Just Live: The younger years. Elementary -Junior High/Middle School.

A life mentor of mine since I was in the Fourth grade once wrote something I’d like to share in closing. In my years with the All-Ohio State Fair Youth Choir during the Summers of 2007, 2008, & 2009, many friendships were made, and memories were captured. In the span of two-and-a-half weeks (18 days) each year, lives where changed and molded. In the last day or two of our time together each summer, a large canvass size piece of paper would be posted to the outside of our dorm at the Rhodes Center. Written on this paper, most of the time in colored marker, was a phrase, and epigraph if you will, of our time spent there. I’ve carried it in my mind since then, and I believe it applies here as well:

Just Live: The High School Years.

An iteration of the posted form of the quote/epigraph.

You never really leave a place where you are loved. . .

You take a little of it with you as you go,

And leave a little of yourself in its place.

We love you-

-Charles R. Snyder

(Director All-Ohio State Fair Youth Choir 1992–2013)

Just Live: Post High School/College Years

Mr. Snyder is a teacher, music educator, and director of various choral groups for nearly 50 years if not more. To some of us he is another father figure. He has been a friend, and a major positive influence in my life for almost 18 years. Without his continued mentorship even through my mistakes, falters, and stumbles I would not be the striving and continuously imperfect human being that I am today. I might not even be here today to write or share this. Sometimes for a flame to alight and spark, and accelerant is needed. He has been that accelerant.

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”

― Robert F. Kennedy

CRS has said in the past, that at times our spiritual gas tank needs refilling; Or in my own words, our fires need rekindling. This is done through a plethora of ways, such as singing with others, rejoicing in the reunion of family and friends, or in a simpler manner, like Mr. Snyder embracing myself, and reminding me through that embrace, that I’m still human because I fall. Falling means we can rise up again stronger because the experience of failure. What a great sentiment. My tank was filling, and my soul was afire!

Mr. Charles R. Snyder and I throughout the years. L to R: 4th Grade Coshocton Children’s Choir (CCC) —Winter ‘00 or Spring ‘01; 8th Grade CCC — Spring ‘05; Coshocton Youth Choral Senior Year (My fourth and final year) — Spring ‘09; Start of All-Ohio Youth Choir (AOYC) — Summer ‘09 (My third and final year): End of AOYC — Summer ‘09; Presbyterian Church — Autumn ‘13/’14?

I suppose in some ways this is dedicated in honor of him and others like Pastor Jon Carlisle of the Coshocton Presbyterian Church, who continue to help me walk my path through the darkness, and emerge from the woods into the light a of a new sunrise.

This piece of writing is also dedicated in memory of these recent extinguished fires. . .

~ My friend and fellow Scout — Scott Simpson

~ A favorite performer of mine since high school — Chester Bennington

~ My buddy, and pet cat — Nicholas

. . .and to the memory of past extinguished fires who illuminated and/or added to the flames of my fire over the course of my lifetime:

· One of my earliest role models and heros — John F. Kennedy, Jr. ~ (July 16, 1999)

· My Maternal Grandmother — Marjorie J. “Marge” (Flinner) Ely ~ (May 23, 2003)

· The older sister of a friend from school — Keely J. Maxwell ~ (Mar. 7, 2004)

· My Maternal Uncle — Rick G. Ely ~ (June 10, 2006)

· My Friend and classmate — Alana D. Branstetter ~ (Nov. 13, 2006)

· My First pet and cat — Rosey ~ (Summer 2006)

· My Dog — Peaches ~ (2007)

· My AOYC ’07 Friend — Daniel A. Duncan ~ (Sept. 3, 2008)

· Derek A. (Brown) Elgart ~ (Dec. 8, 2008)

· Former U.S. Senator from Massachusetts — Edward M. “Ted, Teddy” Kennedy ~ (Aug. 25, 2009)

· Grant A. Hickman ~ (July 16, 2011)

· Naval Chief Petty Officer — Raymond J. “Ray” Border ~ (Oct. 19, 2011)

· MVSR friend and colleague — James G. “Jim” Perkins ~ (Feb. 9, 2013)

· School friend — Devon E. Bercot ~ (Mar. 2, 2013)

· Younger brother of a classmate of mine — Matthew D. “Matt” Gadfield ~ (Apr. 7, 2013)

· Scouting benefactor and colleague — Richard P. “Dick” Spring ~ (July 27, 2013)

· Church friend and local Choral benefactor — David N. “Dave” Bown ~ (Oct. 4, 2014)

· My 3rd Grade Teacher — Margaret L. McDonough ~ (Oct. 9, 2014)

· My former Pastor (@ St. John’s United Church of Christ) — Rev. Peter S. Shults ~ (Oct. 12, 2014)

· Former Church friend and follow confirmand — Nadine D. L. Corder & her son Aries M. West ~ (Nov. 26, 2014)

· Former follow Church attendee and Nadine’s Grandfather — Phillip D. “Phil” Hackenbracht ~ (Dec. 3, 2014)

· My friend, Scouter, and amazing Father/Husband — Robert “Bob” Brems, Jr. ~ (Jan. 15, 2015)

· My Paternal Uncle — Michael M. “Mike” Kirker ~ (Feb. 20, 2015)

· Scout Leader, colleague, Friend, and personal benefactor — Bradley T. “Brad” Knight (June 15, 2016)

· Former U.S. Senator from Ohio, Original Mercury Astronaut, and Oldest man in Space — John H. Glenn, Jr. ~ (Dec. 8, 2016)

All photos are mine except the coexist banner, and the picture of Chester Bennington, which are in the public domain. Credit for the education quote by W.B. Yeats belongs to values.com. All rights for my photos are reserved. If you wish to use any of them contact me here.