What happens if it is the End of the World and you *don’t* feel fine?
To say it’s a stressful time is the understatement of 2020. Covid-19 has us in lockdown, and the reasons to feel anxious are too many to list. I personally can’t sleep and decided to stress clean at 4:30am. I was too noisy and was afraid I would wake my kids so I decided to finish this article instead!
Personally, I find it difficult to even absorb everything that is happening. How about you? If you aren’t struggling with anxiety about Covid-19, you are probably in a bit of shock and a lot of denial. As long as you are taking prudent precautions (e.g. social distancing), go for it! Let denial be your Quarantine and Chill partner.
In all seriousness, the statistics blaring from every news channel produce fear. Hearing the facts can spark sadness, especially if our lives are affected by infected loved ones. And if those loved ones are extremely ill, or pass from us, the sorrow can be overwhelming. We’re aware of this possibility of impending loss even if we don’t yet know anyone who is sick at this point. All this produces anxiety. As a therapist, I’m here to offer some suggestions for preventing and managing your anxiety.
1. Turn off the news. Stop refreshing the Johns Hopkins Covid Website (I’m not even linking to it!)
Okay, you can check it a couple times a day. You need to stay informed, I know. But watching endless loops of commentary and the rising number of confirmed cases is not going to help anyone in any way. Get the information you need a couple times a day, and then focus elsewhere. Work. Kids. Partner. Cleaning. Exercise. A creative project. Anything else will do.
2. Follow the safety guidelines, trusting that we will get to the other side of this.
Yet, the facts can also ignite a fire within. A fighting spirit to help us to do our part by following safety guidelines, to grow in resilience no matter what is presented to us. Our lives have changed, to the “new normal” as you may have heard coined. With this being an unprecedented event, once in a lifetime, let us remember this too shall pass.
3. Practice radical acceptance.
Based on my knowledge and understanding of the mind, I believe a key aspect of dealing with life, and now the coronavirus, is radical acceptance. Radical acceptance is a practice that involves forcing yourself to accept the fact that something bad has happened. It’s looking that scary bad thing in the eye and saying, okay, do your worst. I can handle this. This virus is out there and I do not have much control over what happens, but right now, I’m here. I’m alive. And I’m going to deal with whatever comes my way.
4. Do what you can; surrender what you have no control over.
Go within to find the strength and hope that all be okay. Then change what you can and let go of the rest. Some days, the only thing I have control over is my ability to wash my hands and stay sane for five minutes at a time. That’s okay. I do what I can, and that’s good enough.
5. Be proactive in doing practices that ground you.
Find your center in activities that ground you. Think through what you personally need to combat your anxiety, and then do it.
Seeking calm? Walk outside, practice yoga, or engage in guided meditation.
If productivity helps you feel in control, exercise, make a fabulous meal, and do any activities that have been waiting for you to conquer. I have heard many closets are being cleaned out across the nation and I think that’s great. That always makes me feel fresh and positive about the changes I am making.
6. Make a schedule.
Having a schedule is your friend. It helps contain the anxiety. Plan out your days and post it somewhere where you can look at it, touch it, cross things off as you get them done, and add to it as needed.
7. If you are a parent, stop stressing about homeschool.
It is more important for you to be sane than for your 10-year-old to do his online math class. Hate to say it, but everyone is in the same boat and will fall behind in one area or another. I trust our teachers to help our children once we are all back in the classroom.
In 20 years, when your child (who will then be an adult) is talking about this quarantine, are they going to remember you freaking out that they didn’t keep up with their schoolwork (remember, they are stressed out and might need to zone out too) or are they going to remember it as a time you all were together as a family? Choose option B. This is a chance to bond and show your children what it means to be a family.
8. Remind yourself that not everything is Covid-19.
Yes, you might have a sore throat, or you might cough, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you have Covid-19. In fact, many of the signs of Covid-19 are also the signs of a panic attack. Shortness of breath is a very common anxiety response. Don’t rush to the E.R. and increase your chances of exposure.
Remember: you are not alone in this.
Intense situations naturally draw humans together to bond together to fight a threat to their common lives. The hope that has melded people together throughout our existence is still available. As you struggle to find peace, so are others. We are in this together.
It’s my hope that this article helps you feel less alone, more connected, as you realize that many people are feeling the anxiety you are feeling. Share your experiences and advice in the comments. I want to know what you are doing to manage your anxiety. In the meantime, I wish you as much peace and serenity as is possible.
P.S. I’m writing companion articles to this one and will link to them when done.
- How Not to End Up Like Jack From “The Shining”: Tips for everyone on how to stay sane.
- Lions, Tigers, and Zoom Meetings, Oh My!: How to Homeschool your Kids, Work from Home, and Be a Great Partner During a Pandemic
- · Being single during a Covid-19 lockdown
- Getting along with your partner during the lockdown
Check them out, and let me know in the comments what you’re doing to stay sane despite Covid-19 lockdowns.
Dr. Caroline Madden is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and author. Please follow her on Twitter at @CMaddenMFT or visit her website: CarolineMadden.com or https://amzn.to/3dDbftr
