It’s all a mind game, baby

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Image credit: Serena Wong on Pixabay

I’ve been to a dozen professional counselors in my life. One tried to sell me Herbalife. One urged me to consider that I might really be lesbian, despite my many decades of pro-penis adventures. Another literally fell asleep while I was talking.

Consequently — despite my very real anxiety and depression issues — my interest in therapy has been restricted to acquiring new Xanax prescriptions, and scoring HIPAA-protected paid days off from work.

So when the quarantine blues hit me in May, I did not immediately turn to traditional methods of coping, like Zoom counseling, excessive drinking, or Peloton. I took a (virtual) walk in the forest, I journaled at sunrise (okay, it was 9:30), I bought a subscription to Headspace that I used exactly twice. …

In the Spirit of Juneteenth

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Image credit: Anna Shvet on Pexels

“So it’s the very idea that black women don’t even particularly get to dream themselves free for real, for real, because we’re so busy fighting … everything. Who would we be if we weren’t just trying to survive?” — Rachel Cargle

I’m supposed to be in Tulsa, Oklahoma this weekend, covering counter protests for a local newspaper. The plan was to stand up for free speech, bear witness to the breathtaking reach of this administration’s racism and cruelty, and try not to get tear gassed, beat down or arrested. …

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Photo by Erwan Hesry on Unsplash

And a note from Dan (PS… 2020 is almost over!)

Hello friends,

As 2020 comes to a close, many people all over the world are preparing for something unprecedented in their lifetimes: a holiday season without family. Now, not everyone will be cancelling their Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, or Christmas plans this year. But even those moving ahead with downsized or socially-distanced celebrations are grappling with a certain sense of fear and uncertainty — about the virus, their own health, the health of loved ones.

As the pandemic rips across the world, this fear undergirds many aspects of our lives. At PS, we want to hear from you about how you’re managing it in your own contexts. How are you making sense of — and peace with — this unprecedented holiday season? Is a holiday away from family actually something you’re excited about? …

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Photo by Amy Humphries on Unsplash

All the latest news and stories

Hello friends,

It’s our favorite time of year — Cuddle Season! Sunday afternoon football, crisp autumn walks, bonfires on the beach, spicy hot toddies, and curling up with the one you love.

Our favorite movie buff Taylor Williams is back with a fresh look at blockbuster Jerry Maguire. Is it a rom-com? A sports drama? A social commentary on gender roles? It’s a classic, that’s for sure. Check out this month’s P.S. I Love Movies.

Here are some new stories to cozy up to:

Editors’ Picks

Jessica Wildfire, Women Can Get Caught in the Friend Zone, Too

Michael Thompson, The One Small Thing My Wife Does That Gets Me Every…

Things my dog says when I remember to listen

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Image by author

Fergus was adopted from the shelter in August, 2016; he was 8 months old. Despite his size (15 pounds), temperament (Road Runner on Adderall), and original name (Mr. Snuffles), he believes himself to be a Shih-Tzu. We’ve been unable to cure him of this delusion.

Me: (waving the leash) Come on, kid. Let’s go outside.

Fergus: (glancing up) That’s so not happening.

Me: You’ve gotta pee, dude. Let’s go.

Fergus: Maybe you’ve gotta pee. I’m watching Maddow. Also, Pop just fell asleep in his chair. Those unattended chicken wings aren’t going to eat themselves, you know.

Me: Pop! Move your plate. …

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Image credit: Jan Alexander on Pixabay

P.S. I Love You Announcement

Hello friends,

We’re excited to introduce “P.S. I Love Movies” — a new monthly series in which our resident film critic (and hopeless romantic), Taylor Williams, reviews classic films from the Rom Com canon.

First up: Revisiting “You’ve Got Mail”. If you just love to see two fools fall in love — clumsily, and not always kindly — then I guess you’ve got the perfect movie night with this Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan romp from 1998. Director Nora Ephron serves up an examination of digital love, capitalism, and self-identity between all those sweetheart emails.

What’s Taylor’s final take? Well … read the review, and tell us if you agree. …

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Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash

Poetry Sunday

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

How many nights
did I stand over my babies’ cribs
watching them breathe?
Tiny chests rising and falling
in miraculous, endless rhythm,
bitty hearts and lungs

I made you, I’d whisper
Formed your perfect bellies and limbs
of my own blood and bone
fed you with my own body.

How many heartbeats
are you allotted at birth?
How many breaths
until you run out?

Now at my father’s bedside
his breaths slow and weak
his heart running out of beats.
Each one now a labor
a rebellion
a gift.

I watch over him
like his mother surely did
praying his chest would still rise and fall
through croup and hunger
pox and measles and flu
plying him with honey and camphor
and steel determination. …

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Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash

PS I Love You Update

Hello my friends,

In A Letter of Acclimation, John Gorman writes this week that, “The pandemic dragged me, kicking-and-screaming the whole damned way, toward another pivot-point, where I needed to radically reimagine the life I need to live.”

Aren’t we all feeling that? That urge to rethink and redo? To stop treading water and instead, ride the big wave? We’re seeing this, too, in the stories being submitted and the comments from readers.

This is a perfect moment — this moment of possibility — to extend our reach, and reflect on how we are all connected.

Special Event: Twitter Pitch Day!

We believe that building relationships is one way we change the world, and that every voice has a story worth telling. …

#PSPitchDay, #OwnVoices

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Photo by Sara Kurfeß on Unsplash

At P.S. I Love You, we’re all about relationships; we believe that building, nurturing, and leaning on our relationships is one way we change the world, and we believe that every voice has a story worth telling.

We are actively seeking underrepresented voices — Black writers, Indigenous writers, immigrant writers, writers from underrepresented countries and cultures, writers of color, LGBTQ writers, writers who are neurodivergent, writers living with illness or disability — to add their stories to P.S. I Love You.

On Friday, September 11, 2020, from 7am to 7pm EST, we will host #PSPitchDay on Twitter, for story pitches from #OwnVoices writers. Pitch us a story about relationships, using the hashtag #PSPitchDay, and if we like the pitch, we’ll DM you an invitation to submit. …

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Photo by Laura Pratt on Unsplash

Hello my friends,

The world still looks cuckoo crazy outside, but this fierce August sun is keeping me lit up from the inside — how about you? The ancient sun-worshippers believed that the sun’s fire lives in us all, and that the sun’s rays keep us all connected. That sounds pretty good right now.

As our own Dan Moore writes in his essay, For an Adult Child of Sick Parents, the Pandemic is a Crippling Paradox (published in SF Gate) this week:

The pandemic is showing us that what’s really essential to relationships are not lavish trips, but each other’s presence. The instances of easy and unengineered togetherness. The slices of time we spontaneously steal. These aren’t just niceties, things we may one day be grateful for, they’re the things we should treasure most.


Kay Bolden

Managing Editor, P.S. I Love You. Publisher, A Seasoned Woman. Find me in Human Parts, ZORA, London Reader. | Tweet @KayBolden |

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