Homeschooling
The moment we found out Mateo was on the spectrum, my husband and I immediately agreed that I would homeschool him. It was the only thought that gave us peace. When we would begin to get upset about how people would treat him at school, his spirit getting crushed, him becoming withdrawn and angry because of how he was treated, his teachers not understanding him or treating him poorly, all the fears that spring up when you think about what it might be like for someone who acts a little differently in the public school setting, how that rejection can lead to self-loathing, alcoholism, suicide, we would remember- I’m going to homeschool him. I graduated with an Elementary Education degree; I have spent the last 12 years plus teaching. I love teaching and I am able to be at home with him, so it works perfectly for our family.
My son was only three when we made this decision. He was going to preschool and had ABA therapy daily as well as speech therapy. He had a small stint in special day classes at the public school, and as you know that did not work well for us. He was showing a great deal of progress in private school and we were very content.
Last year when it was time for him to begin Transitional Kindergarten, which he had to do to keep his speech services from the school district, we began homeschooling. Luckily our school district has a Long-term Independent Study program which allows the parents to work with a classroom teacher and school district. We received classroom materials and instructional materials from the school district and used the K-12 online classroom program. Our curriculum standards follows those of public school and federal guidelines and I am able to use my knowledge of what works best for Tigger to provide an optimal education experience for him. He is now in his second year of independent study and he absolutely loves it. He is such an eager learner, that it is quite easy to teach him and most days are quite enjoyable. Of course, there are days when he just doesn’t feel like participating or he is emotional, but I know how to help him through those times, and they don’t happen that often.
He excels at Language Arts and Math and he really enjoys Science, History, and Art. We are happy that he can be challenged and receive instruction at his academic level. We think that may be part of why he loves school so much. He is very inquisitive and that leads us to an even richer experience as he can learn more about the things that actually interest him in the moment. For example, right now he loves to make books about his Science and History lessons. He is so proud to be the author and illustrator and reads the books to us each day. He has made books about different weather phenomena, Africa, Argentina, recycling, pumpkins. Whatever he is learning about- he wants to make a book about it. This is the type of well-rounded education we always wanted for him.
One important piece you may think is missing is the social aspect of his education. To continue to support his social development, he attends an afternoon private school program with his ABA therapists for three hours every day and karate once a week. He loves his after school program, and he says “The morning is just learning school, and the afternoon is playing and learning school.” Luckily for him, the afternoon program focuses on science and physical activity, so he is able to participate in two of his favorite things, while interacting with his peers. His therapists and teacher tell me that he is getting very good at initiating interaction with his classmates, working in groups, and having back and forth conversations about things that they want to talk about. I feel very good about his social development and he is still such a happy, positive, young man who really loves interacting with people. Of course, it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. He has his days where he has major melt-downs and needs lots of help from his therapists, but that is all part of him learning how to regulate his emotions and reactions. You see Tigger is still learning about social interaction and regulation, and his therapist is there to help guide him with specific skills. This is something he would not get by just being in school with a bunch of other kids. He doesn’t learn about social interaction just by watching other kids. That is a part of what it means to be on the spectrum, he needs to learn those skills in a more intentional manner.
I know that not all people agree with our decision. There are so many choices you can make when it comes to your child’s education, and our choice is different than most of our friends. The most common negative sentiment seems to be that homeschool kids do not get proper socialization or learn to work well in groups.
The thing is, we know kids that were homeschooled and they are doing quite well as adults. They are well rounded, social, individuals with many friends and great jobs. So the argument that somehow we will be injuring our child’s social development by not sending him to public school everyday is bogus. We are all about giving Tigger as many social experiences as possible as he continues to develop his skills.
The book NeuroTribes, by Steve Silberman really articulated how I have felt about my son and the way that we should support him.
Hans Asperger one of the first psychiatrists to study children on the spectrum wrote, “The mission of the Heilpadogogik Station (Asperger’s clinic) was to find the individual approaches to education that would enable these children to make the most of their innate gifts while ensuring that they had the resources to cope with the challenges of their disabilities.”
Grunia Sukhareve, a Russian psychiatrist in the mid-1900’s wrote this about children on the spectrum “If they found a teacher who protected them from bullies and encouraged them to cultivate their natural talents, they might thrive, though they would always be eccentric.”
Tigger has such a large group of people supporting his education and development and making sure that he is getting exactly what he needs. He has 2 ABA therapist, an ABA supervisor, an ABA director, a classroom teacher, a speech therapist, and IEP team, an Independent Studies instructor, and myself. I have no idea if we will homeschool him through high school graduation or if he will eventually go to public school. It is completely up to him. If he tells me one day that he would like to go to school, we will get him registered and off to school. Maybe we will find that there is an alternative program that fits him well. Maybe we will do independent study until he tests out at age 16 and he will continue his education at a junior college, and then university or vocational school, or whatever he chooses to do with his life. I have NO IDEA what the future holds, but right now, I am at peace with our decision.
