Start right now to be the kind that always get what they want in life
Do you know your main qualities?
When you’re asked to name them, are you satisfied with your answer?
Well… that is if you answer in the first place…
To go somewhere, ever, your qualities may be quite useful, though
Whether I train groups or individually counsel, I always start my work with people by asking them: name your 3 main qualities.
3 is not that much.
You have more than 3 qualities, I’m telling you. Way more.
But I guess it is a good start.
In over 200 people I practice this exercise with, each year, do you know how many actually name 3 of their qualities?
This year: one.
I even think that quality n°3 was a synonym of quality n°2…
On the other hand, 100% of the attendees end up naming at least one of their flaws within less than 30 seconds.
And while it was so difficult to dig out one quality, when it comes to their flaws: there is no stopping them.
When it comes to our flaws: there is no stopping us, that is.
I can see where this self-flagellation comes from: its cultural. It’s well seen. Societal.
Well, it’s a lot of things, except for one: interesting (too bad).
So, in reverse: naming our qualities might look quite vulgar… rude, even.
Ok, but telling everyone that we suck… WHAT GOOD CAN COME OF IT?
Once, during a conversation with a colleague, I told him about something I thought myself as « very good at ».
What.
Had.
I.
Said.
What a lack of taste!
My colleague stops me abruptly (yes, in the middle of my sentence: which is quite rude, by the way):
“It’s not up to you to declare whether you’re good at something, it’s up to other people to notice and praise your qualities »
Er… right… but… WHAT???
Thanks to that very conversation, I came to an observation that became essential to everything I aim to do with my work.
It is not up to anyone else but me, to notice my qualities.
It i s up to me, above all else, to know that I am good at this or that;
Then to rely on this knowledge of mine to produce high quality value;
Which might lead « other people » to praise my skills, if they wish.
But I won’t depend on it…
Because I will have accomplished something great thanks to the qualities I do have…
Which is pretty much all that really matters to me in life.
Building a life is not waiting for life to be generous enough to happen to you.
To succeed, I think, is not about being recognized by others.
To succeed is neither about waiting for the wind to blow in your favor so that success can finally occur.
External recognition is a bonus. It’s always nice and motivating.
But it’s not the alpha and the omega to your accomplishments.
Because it comes from the outside. Whereas success is something you build from within.
So let’s forget about modesty. Right away. Forever.
“You do not open doors with your flaws, but with your qualities”
How can we hope for a beautiful and successful life, when all we focus on, all day, is the worst in ourselves?
No one ever builds anything based on the certainty of being a loser: to build something that truly matters we have to believe that we are good enough to deserve it.
Also, we accomplish things thanks to our qualities, not our flaws. So why spending so much time focusing on our darkest aspects?
What I hope to unveil for you is a world where you can give up modesty for ever, and still remain a respectable a valuable person.
You are a few lies away from your own extraordinary self.
Those lies?
They are all the flaws you have identified in yourself. The flaws you give so much importance to that they tend to become your own definition of who you are.
Yet, your flaws: nobody could care less about them, starting with yourself, ideally.
Because it’s not your flaws you need to show and develop in order to build the life of your dreams : its your QUALITIES.
If your flaws have become the definition of who you are that comes prior to any other, to succeed, you just need to reverse things… And define yourself through your qualities. You have so much of them.
“You already are that person who always gets what she/he wants in life”
CALL TO ACTION
If you want to start right away to be that person who always gets what she/he wants in life, here’s a simple exercise you can do.
Grab a peace of paper and list all your flaws. Yep: the ones you hold responsible for all your troubles, your disillusions, your failures… And for everything you haven’t done.
Then, tell yourself the truth about yourself. See: your flaws only hold one side of your truth. You need the WHOLE truth.
So, opposite each flaw: name a quality that you truly know about yourself and that can be associated or opposed to that flaw (same as I did in the picture that illustrates this article).
You already are that person, who always gets what she/he wants in life.
The purpose of this exercise is to start acknowledging it for real.
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🇫🇷 Bonjour ! If you want to practice your French: I originally wrote this article in my actual birth language, en français. Clic here to read it
À bientôt !
Marie-Haude
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