Confessions: 3 Times I Crossed the Line in Our Swinging
The lifestyle sometimes can lure you into flying too close to the sun. Beware of temptation.
Swinging when you’re married is a bit like air traffic control. If a couple communicates both ahead of time and in real-time about sexual intentions and desires, usually the night will bring safe, disaster-free fun.
If, at any time, communication doesn’t happen and the desires of one spouse — or perhaps both spouses —override what’s been agreed to, then disaster can strike.
Lauren and I have 17 rules for our lifestyle that have been very helpful in navigating our non-monogamy, but there have been times when opportunity and selfish sexual desire collided, leading to regretful actions on both our parts.
Here are confessions of three instances when I stepped outside of the rules and nearly caused disaster. I’m not proud of any of these.
The 25-Year-Old Unicorn
In our lifestyle, it’s not uncommon to meet women, especially at clubs, who are unattached, hot and desiring sex with a couple or couples. These women are sometimes called “unicorns.” Similarly, “hotwives,” though married, may come to a club alone looking for fun with others.
In 2019, Lauren and I were at one of our clubs, and she retreated to a private room with two other married women for girls-only fun. She had thought I’d hook up with another couple we knew well — that was the arrangement. As the couple and I were flirting with each other and inching toward sex, a young woman named Cayley, who we didn’t know at the time, asked if she could join us.
Sexually, things with Cayley, who was 25 and quite beautiful, quickly escalated. We retreated to an open-air cabana, where the four of us all had sex together. Then, Cayley and I fucked each other as the other couple made love.
I found Cayley particularly sexually attractive, and I distinctly remember feeling some guilt as I was age 46 and having sex with a women 21 years younger than I.
As Cayley and I fucked — for a second time — in missionary position, Lauren stepped into the cabana and saw what was happening. I had assumed Lauren was OK with it all because she took off her clothes, introduced herself to Cayley as we were having sex, and then proceeded to tongue-kiss our new friend before joining us.
On the drive home that night, Lauren expressed her extreme displeasure in my having sex with a woman who she didn’t know about. Though she admitted she had enjoyed Cayley, my having sex with Cayley was a violation of trust. Plus, the age discrepancy bothered her. She felt like I’d been blinded by, in her words, a “hot, young piece of ass” and “a unicorn looking to fuck someone’s husband.”
Still, Lauren said, she could understand why I’d gotten carried away — Cayley was quite cute, sexy and sensual. And, Lauren added, it wasn’t like I was trying to hide what we were doing. I just hadn’t exercised the self-control required of disciplined swingers who stuck to the agreed-upon plan, she concluded.
We ultimately agreed to use the Cayley incident as a learning opportunity and reminder to never do anything sexual with others without both of us first agreeing. Plus, it caused us to exercise greater care with unattached women and hotwives. We decided to sexually engage with them only in threesome situations with Lauren and me.
Joining with Five Guys in Gangbanging Nicole
In our lifestyle, there is the occasional wife who is over the top in her desire to check every kinky box. Such was the case with Nicole, a 30-year-old wife who fantasized about having group sex with several guys while she teased their wives. It didn’t help that her husband also shared her gangbang fantasy. At the time, Lauren was 39 and I was 40.
At a private party on New Year’s Eve, Nicole and her husband, Todd, “drafted” six guys, myself and Todd included, to fuck her in one of the guest bedrooms. When one of the wives protested, Nicole agreed to do it in the living room while the other wives watched. The wives all agreed.
Over the next hour or so, all six of us guys took turns on Nicole. To her delight, every one of her orifices got penetrated and, by the time the episode concluded, Nicole had cum all over her and, as one of the wives later confided to Lauren, had conducted herself “like a fuck toy and street whore.”
Apparently a few times as she was getting gangbanged Nicole looked teasingly at the other wives. Didn’t go over well with them. At all.
Lauren and a few other wives had found the encounter over the top. Although each of the wives enjoyed sex with multiple guys, six guys having their way with Nicole seemed excessive at the time (since then, gangbangs with five or more husbands have become semi-normal occurrences). All of this from Lauren confused me because, while the five other husbands and I had sex with Nicole, Lauren and the other wives had gotten quite hot and started kissing and touching each other.
The Nicole incident wasn’t necessarily a violation of any rule at the time. Technically, I hadn’t done anything against what we’d agreed to. And Lauren saw it all happen in real-time. The issue was just in how it made her and the other wives feel watching Nicole tease them and us husbands go along with her antics. Lauren didn’t enjoy seeing her husband, along with five other married men, fuck a “slut masquerading as a wife,” as she said, who was, as another friend termed, “a wannabe porn star.” Another wife called Nicole a “skanky cumslut.”
Nicole and her husband never again joined our circles for any private parties.
Holly
This last one is hard for me to write about. Lauren and I met Holly and her husband, both our age at the time (late 30s/early 40s), at a club back in 2013. We hit it off and over the next two years occasionally hooked up for couples fun (read: swapping and group sex).
The chemistry between the four of us was truly special. Not only was the sex incredible but we had so much fun together. Holly and her husband had become our friends.
Here’s where things went off the rails….. Lauren and Holly’s husband had agreed on one occasion to let Holly and me hook up, which we did. We had a night of ravenous sex in my hotel room in a city where Holly and I both happened to be staying for business travel (pure coincidence). That escapade in and of itself hadn’t caused any problems.
What did cause a problem were the four other times over the next few months that Holly and I hooked up without Lauren’s knowledge. I even fucked Holly in her ass, which she’d begged for me to do. And I creampied her, too.
It’s hard for me to confess all of this because, in retrospect, I can see it was cheating, infidelity and a complete breach of our rules for the lifestyle.
The whole situation exploded, and Lauren and I nearly separated. We also nearly walked away from swinging for good after Lauren on a few occasions used the lifestyle to get back at me for the Holly situation, including by getting gangbanged and slathered in cum by five husbands (not letting me participate or even be in the room, but I heard through the grapevine she let them triple penetrate her and each one of them fucked her in her ass)…followed the next night by her casually blowing a total of four husbands and then letting one of them fuck her in the ass.
The worst of her punishments on me? Knowing I’m not into cuckhold, she made me watch her blow a muscular guy with a huge cock, while looking into my eyes as she sucked him off and enjoyed him. Still looking into my eyes, she let him unleash a tidal wave of cum all over her tongue and face.
“You like that bitch?” he asked her as he slathered her face.
And then, to inflict as much pain on me as possible — and with his cum still on her face — she kept looking into my eyes while he ate her pussy, running her hands through his hair as she came in his mouth.
“Dude, your wife is hot,” he told me while he tasted and enjoyed my bride’s pussy. It was brutal.
We didn’t even know the guy.
To this day, we’re both ashamed of our actions.
It was the closest we ever came to marital destruction.
While Lauren’s response wasn’t good — it was actually awful — what I’d done was wrong and it took us a few years to fully rebuild trust.
Incidentally, Holly and her husband completely disappeared from the lifestyle and we haven’t seen them in five years.
So there you have it — three confessions of lapses in judgment on my part over the years. Lauren has also had her lapses in judgment but my goal here is to share where I, not she, erred.
Swinging is a lifestyle that affords a lot of fun. It provides opportunities most couples secretly fantasize about but never do. But it can also cause a couple to fly too close to the sun because sexual desire is so powerful and can cloud judgment. We almost got burned, especially during the Holly crisis, but out of it we have grown stronger as a couple.
