Reader Question: Are “Creampies” a Good Idea in the Swinging Lifestyle?
Although fun to give and receive, creampies aren’t taken lightly in the swinging world. And for good reason.
I received an excellent question that I’m happy to answer. Admittedly, it’s not really a hot topic amongst our circles in the lifestyle but Lauren and I discussed and are happy to provide our perspective.
My husband and I have swapped with other couples and enjoy playing with others now and then. Recently, he shared a wild fantasy with me. He wants him and at least three other husbands to each “creampie” me wherever they desire — I mean in whatever hole they want. I read your rules and we mostly have similar rules, which is why my husband’s fantasy surprises me. I’m not sure creampies are a good idea because 1) the pill isn’t foolproof (I’m on the pill) and 2) it increases risk of me getting a disease. Like with you all, I do allow other husbands to cum in my mouth but we need to know them well. Can you give me advice on what I should do?
Thanks for your question. I also learned from you that you’re 35 years-old, and you and your husband have kids and have been in the lifestyle for 5 years.
First, let’s define “creampie”: A creampie is a very enjoyable sex act involving ejaculation in the vagina, mouth or ass without the use of a condom. Although they are most enjoyable to the giver, Lauren would tell you that she enjoys receiving a creampie from me.
The short answer is that Lauren and I recommend you not allow other guys to “creampie” you. That is a privilege only your husband should have.
Now for the longer answer….. Our 17 rules, as you referenced, include the following:
Rule 2: Unless there’s a known exception, condoms during vaginal intercourse are required.
Condoms during vaginal intercourse involving other couples are required not just to prevent disease but also pregnancy. There are exceptions usually for couples we know well so long as birth control measures are in place (e.g., birth control pill, vasectomy, tubal ligation). In those cases, bareback sex is OK but pulling out is a must (easier said than done).
Condoms during group sex involving multiple couples are always involved, and condoms should be changed out between lovers.
Condoms and pulling out with our polyamorous lovers aren’t required. For instance, I cum in Piper’s pussy quite often. No one has ever cum in Lauren’s pussy except for me since we’ve been together.
Creampies carry “risk,” which include unwanted pregnancy (when in the vagina) and transmission of disease (all three orifices).
In our swinger circles, vaginal and anal creampies are not allowed among non-spouses. With couples we know well, condoms aren’t usually required but pulling out of the vagina and ass is must. Cumming on the tits and ass is OK. Cumming on a woman’s face or in her mouth is usually OK, too.
The “easier said that done” language in our no-creampie rule is there to acknowledge that, sometimes, temptation gets the better of us humans. Although I wish I could say Lauren’s never been creampied by another guy in the lifestyle and I’ve never creampied another woman, I can’t. It’s happened, but the rule will never change.
We do also play with lots of couples we don’t know super well and in those cases condoms and pulling out are required for vaginal sex, anal sex is forbidden and there is no swallowing of semen. With couple we don’t know well, accidents must never happen. Ever. All of that’s in the above rule.
Our rules have changed a little over the years, loosening in some areas. For instance, we had a no-kissing-others rule that wasn’t practical and we did away with it. Anal sex with others was forbidden and that rule also went by the wayside so long as it’s with couples we know well. Those are just two examples. One rule that will never go away: no creampies.
Bottom line: So long as everyone abides by the rules, we can all fuck each other, fuck each other’s wives, fuck each other’s husbands…and it’s all good.
In 25 years of polyamory and swinging, we know of no one who’s accidentally gotten pregnant or contracted an STD. I’m snipped so it’s impossible for me to get someone pregnant, but Lauren is technically still able to get pregnant and we’ve had no unwanted pregnancies to date. Our avoidance of STDs is largely because we and our friends have been responsible and all get tested regularly. But we also know that condomless sex, swallowing semen, etc. carry risk, and that’s why we do it only with couples we know well.
All that said, if it’s just Lauren and me, vaginal and anal creampies happen all the time. Rarely do I pull out. They feel so good for giver and receiver and are an enjoyable part of our sex life.
Creampies are also allowed with our polyamorous lover, Piper. Piper doesn’t participate in the swinger lifestyle and is basically an intimate lover to Lauren (you could say they’re in love) who we also share together, meaning Piper and I lovers. I also rarely pull out of Piper, except during anal sex. Unlike Lauren, Piper’s not crazy about anal creampies and I respect that boundary.
All that to say, creampies should be reserved for people who are very intimate and have a special relationship. Prior to Lauren and me meeting, only one guy had creampied her (a boyfriend she dated for a few years), and I’d never creampied another woman.
From our experience, which we’ve shared above, our advice is to enjoy sex with your husband and the other guys but make sure everyone has on a condom or, at least, pulls out.
