Eric HelmsThe Skies Opened and Put Me Right Inside Magic MikeEvery once in a great while, the suffocatingly thick, black veil falls to the ground. Now it doesn’t happen often, friend. Maybe not even…Mar 16, 2018Mar 16, 2018
Eric HelmsinBullshit.ISTCare Bear Fan FictionIt’s not super important why I was on the Care Bear wikipedia page and took this photo. What is super important — is that someone did in…Jul 28, 2017Jul 28, 2017
Eric HelmsinWords for LifePapa John, You’ve Denied Me As Your Son. Now Take a DNA Test & Prove Me Wrong!Everyone has a favorite pizza topping. Mine’s fatherhood. And since Papa John continues to deny me as his son—I’m guessing his is probably…Jun 11, 2017Jun 11, 2017
Eric HelmsTerror PitchSpeed up the game we love and put terrorists around the world on notice??? Ah yes, check please.Apr 4, 2017Apr 4, 2017
Eric HelmsFor 80s Kids Only…Because either you were born in the 80s, or you weren’t. It’s just that simple.Oct 18, 20161Oct 18, 20161
Eric HelmsinBullshit.ISTTrump Supporter Spotlight: Vladimir PutinNot everyone around the world is completely petrified of a Donald Trump presidency. I know–weird thought, right? So, in today’s blog post…Oct 15, 2016Oct 15, 2016
Eric HelmsinWords for LifePumpkin. Spice. Latte.There’s a storm coming. Can you feel it?Oct 14, 20161Oct 14, 20161
Eric HelmsinBullshit.ISTTrump moves within striking distance of ‘The Chair From Frasier’ in latest poll.I’m not going to sugar coat it for you guys, it’s been a pretty bad week for our man in orange, Donald Trump. From the revelation that…Oct 11, 2016Oct 11, 2016
Eric HelmsinBullshit.ISTFive Times I Caught Tommy Lee Jones Jamming Out to Viagra Style Blues RockViagra. Rock. City.Oct 5, 2016Oct 5, 2016
Eric HelmsinBullshit.ISTGive Me Pocket-Warm Meat Temperatures, or Give Me DeathSo what makes the US of A so great anyhow? Is it a constitution that grants us freedoms and liberties unparalleled throughout the rest of…Sep 16, 2016Sep 16, 2016