EURank 2023: 50–41
We’re finally here: The first 10 players of EURank 2023 are being revealed today! Eight different characters from three different countries, so let us have a look and see who managed to sneak into the top 50.
Previous EURank articles:
#50: Squeachu | Score: 51.54
What does it take to get to this level with a low-tier character such as Mr. Game & Watch? Is it the challenge? Extreme patience and dedication? A passion to push the boundaries that no one has done before? I’m not sure, but Squeachu is stubborn enough to try anyway. Starting their competitive Melee journey in 2015, Squeachu has had an impressive career, maintaining a solid placement on every UK PR since the pandemic. With wins on high-level European and American players, they’ve still found time to become the 2nd best Shrek Super Slam player of all time. Without the controller, Squeachu is still a beacon of their local community, putting in countless hours organizing events, creating a local ranking, and actively pushing to make the scene a better place for all players. The Midlands couldn’t ask for a better number 1 player.
- Jaysotee
#49: RestlessWhale | Score: 51.07
The man who does it all. No seriously, he does everything. When he isn’t competing he is TO’ing BunkerSmash biweekly, if he isn’t doing that he is probably recording content or a podcast and if he isn’t doing that you’re listening to his amazing voice as he is commentating your favorite European top 8. And if you think he is simply just “competing” you are gravely mistaken. Not only does this man frequently visit your top 8 doubles with his co-host Xin, he also blows up your favorite top player with style on a regular basis. Just to name a few; a 3–0 win over NekoKaze at DSEA Winter 2023, wins over Xin and Bonjwa at Fete-3, Mordo at Festa 2023, and he has beaten Noon and Happymealz while TO’ing his own weekly. What more can you ask of one person? This isn’t just a competitor, this is a pillar of our community.
- Nuckels
#48: Noxxa | Score: 50.39
Noxxa absolutely loves Melee and you can see that in everything they do for the scene. Not only do they help seeding for most big European tournaments, they also make sure that the Dutch scene stays up to date with the biggest events around the world. Having a big post ready basically every week about whatever tournament is happening that weekend and giving extra attention to any Dutch and European attendance there. They also travel more than most, if not all, other Dutch players, regularly making trips from the South up to some of the more Northern points of the country to attend locals. Not only that, they also undoubtedly have answered hundreds of questions in the scene’s discord server. All of this while having to deal with moving homes.
That love has resulted in some impressive tournaments. Especially at the first Somnio, where the Ice Climbers main got 7th with impressive wins over other high level Dutchies like Xin and Risc. The passion that Noxxa has for Melee and its community is commendable and I hope this infatuation will develop into even bigger and better results for them in 2024.
- Strompel
#47: R23 | Score: 49.57
The eternal UK top 10 threat R23 has long been a pillar of the UK Melee scene. Even more impressive than his longevity is the fact that he’s inexplicably still only in his mid 20s despite having played Melee for over 30 years.
Highlight wins include Pi, Lil Chief and Stranger. Perhaps most impressive is the fundamental Sheik main’s trademark consistency, proving once again that he is utterly incapable of losing to players below a certain level.
Going into 2024 you can expect to see this familiar face at all of the largest UK tournaments showing everyone that he’s still got it, baby.
- 10QuidShoes
#46: Psylo | Score: 48.40
Psylo is the last top competitor from Lille, in the North of France. His relentless laser pressure, on par with his crisp combo game makes him a tough opponent to fight against. Don’t let your guard down as he’s been able to take sets off some of Europe’s toughest threats, such as Aaron and Moe. While singles may not be Psylo’s primary focus, doubles is where his Falco shines the most. With his teammate Mahie, he is able to share the big stage with top European teams. Together, they reached the top 8 of Arcamelee #4 and took the win home at Somnio 2. Even though Psylo occasionally attends his locals and nationals, he does not compete as much as he used to. Nowadays he is prioritizing other of life’s challenges and likes to take a seasonal meditative retreat. But you never know when he is ready to take an 8 hour drive to reach the podium at a national tournament.
- MelvilSmith
#45: mordo | Score: 47.18
An ever present member of the UK PR, British fan favourite mordo has long approached competitive Melee with a big heart matched only by his fear of vegetables. 2023 however marks an impressive milestone for mordo as he makes his first appearance on a European power ranking.
Despite a rocky start to the year, mordo managed to show what he’s capable of boasting some impressive wins this year over Kingu, Happymealz and R23. Unsatisfied with just that however, he saved his best performances for last, eliminating max en route to a respectable 33rd place finish at Arcamelee #4 before following that up just 2 weeks later with a colossal 7 set loser’s run to win the Pantheon Last Chance Qualifier.
Only time will tell how well mordo is able to carry this momentum into 2024. But if the end of his 2023 season is anything to go by, I wouldn’t bet on anything standing in his way other than his addiction to McDonald’s.
- 10QuidShoes
#44: Nuckels | Score: 47.14
Nuckels is a man of culture, one of the foremost doubles grinders in Europe, he grinds doubles all the time with his static partner $TYN. Thanks to his TOing responsibilities, he has to skip the singles brackets for all his tournaments (the Somnio series), resulting in a surprisingly lean resume for such a common presence at Dutch events. This has caused the majority of his results on his startgg page to be doubles results with some sparse showings in singles brackets.
Despite this, he has managed to make the best out of his situation, developing a solid rapport against the rest of the Netherlands and preventing too bad of losses. While his list of wins may seem quite modest, the highlights include a 2–0 record against noon and a win over Spanish hidden-boss Liax. These successes show that Nuckels is no slouch in singles and will not be letting his TO work distract him from his desire to compete.
- nago
#43: GG | Score: 46.62
Some people say that playing Melee is like having a conversation with your opponent. Playing the United Kingdom’s most nefarious competitor, GG, feels like getting squirted in the face with a clown flower whenever you try to speak. Merely mentioning her tag sends shivers down the spines of even Europe’s most seasoned competitors.
It’s not as simple as “people don’t like playing against Jigglypuff” for her — you see, GG is a harbinger of despair and chaos. She psychologically torments foes with her unholy trinity of demonic characters — Jigglypuff, Ice Climbers, and Zelda. She aspires to break her opponents down to the brink of surrender, and her Twitter bio warns followers that “It’s as if [GG’s] goal in Melee is to make her opponent want to quit”. For GG, winning comes second to eroding her competitors’ spirits and draining their joy. UK’s girlboss of gloom has mastered the art of minimizing her opponents’ fun: Just ask Pi, Lil Chief, or anyone else unfortunate enough to wander into “GG’s Fun Zone” and not make it out alive.
Her terrifying play has scarred Europe to the point that simply chatting “good game” on unranked has become a chilling reminder of the terrors she’s caused. That was fun. GG.
- Justin “DarkGenex” Cohen
#42: Fecfec | Score: 46.23
Ever heard of the town of Pau? Don’t worry, few people have. That was true at least until Fecfec and her famelee started showing up during the Slippi era. Tournament after tournament, the Peach player started to make more and more of a name for herself, and it’s safe to say 2023 has been her break-out year.
Whilst more acclaimed for her doubles performances with her sibling i4, Fecfec will still give you a run for your money in singles, and did so this year with wins over players such as Happymealz, Lil Chief and saftblandarN.
She’s a sweet gal on the surface, but those close to her will have no problem letting you know she’s in fact a stone cold killer. Don’t believe me? That’s fine, but have you ever seen anyone so ruthlessly big dog PewFat in your life?
Since her third place finish at Arcamelee #4 in doubles with her sister i4, the two have become an international sensation. Starting 2024 off at Genesis X with a solid performance in singles and doubles, it’s beginning to feel like Fecfec might just become more popular than her own home town.
- Exy-
#41: Xin | Score: 41.96
If you’re a part of the Dutch scene, you’d know Gelderland’s premier Pikachu player Xin is always pushing the biggest threats in the tournament to their limits. Despite his calm demeanor on commentary, he’s always zipping around at mach speed and tapping into an innate sixth-sense to find the perfect tailspike. Don’t believe me? How else he could have clutched a 2–1 victory over the one and only Professor Pro at Fete 3? I rest my case.
In all seriousness, 2023 was only a glimpse into Xin’s potential. Over the season he picked up wins on Nikstrat at Somnio 3, Risc at Vinyl Destination #2, noon and Psylo at DSEA Winter 2023 and Schima (alongside Prof) at Fete 3. Not only that, he’s also an absolute killer in doubles, consistently showing us that Pikachu has way more utility in teams than most give him credit for.
Proud of his accomplishments but not entirely satisfied, Xin’s motivation to grind remains unwavering as he continues to climb the ranks of the Dutch scene. Give it a year or two and I’m sure we’ll be side-betting on whether he’ll be showing up for Top 8 as a commentator, or as the favorite to win.
- RestlessWhale
That concludes our first ten ranked players of EURank2023. We hope you enjoyed, and we will see you tomorrow for ranks 40–31!
The EURank Team
Dominik “Nicki” Kunze — Director
Wout “Noxxa” van Poppel — Assistant Director & Data Lead
Nago — Assistant Director & Data Collection
EuO — Data Collection
Ambisinister — Data Processing
zondy — chill viber
Filip “Flippy” Tengwall — Graphics Lead
Brendan “GimmeDatWheat” Malone — Consultation
