Productivity: Depression Amplifier?
This article was inspired by Rumination: Source of Depression.
Productivity is a key emphasis within the U.S. military. Leaders across the branches of the service are expected to stimulate productivity throughout every minute of the work day, even when there are no mission-essential tasks to be completed. This imperative can be especially daunting during a deployment, when service members are on duty twelve-hours a day, six to seven days a week. The result of this must-do attitude is often busywork — the illusion of production.
When I was in the Army, I deployed to Iraq. During my deployment, I was assigned to a tech repair shop where I had no idea what anyone was doing. My job was to act as a cable repair guy, the kind of job that has nothing to do with repairing satellite antenna or radio equipment or any other job performed in a tech repair shop. My supervisor tried to get me trained on their equipment several times, but usually their most basic explanation flew way above what my experience would allow me to wrap my head around.
Since I didn’t understand the equipment, my job type rendered me useless. Filling a twelve-hour day with tech repair work is difficult enough, but it’s even harder when the person you’re trying to keep actively engaged has no reason to be there. I got yelled at a lot for sitting around. They tried to get me to go to school, but I didn’t like the idea of online work. I attempted to read a couple times at work, but I always fell asleep from the heat and the long hours, so I knew that doing online work would lead to failure.
Eventually, my boss came up with a brilliant way to take up at least an hour or two of my time. He must have been angry, cursing the gods, “How dare there be sand in a desert!?” An unsightly build up of sand covered our driveway and the road in front of our building. So, for the next three weeks, I swept in 120-degree weather.
I swept sand. In a desert. Because I didn’t have a job. Because the Army assigned me somewhere that didn’t need me. Because I wasn’t creative enough to fill my 12-hour day with busywork.
I think about experiences like this and I wonder — is my depression amplified by my experiences as a soldier? I fall into my darkest depressive swings late in the day, when I have already accomplished a lot but there’s still enough hours in the day to do more. Is my depression simply a well-established stress response to the expectation of productivity?
Like NormalAbnormal? Subscribe now and you’ll never lose track of the latest article. If you support this message, be sure to like and share with all your friends.
