Your Most Important Job

Not Everyone Has Their Rusticus — What is the Next Best Thing?

9 min readFeb 4, 2024

RUSTICUS

Have you ever heard the name Junius Rusticus? Very few people have. Rusticus was a Roman general, then a consul, and was assigned as a tutor to young Marcus Aurelius. Rusticus turned out to be one of the most important influences in the life of Marcus Aurelius.

In his Meditations, Marcus Aurelius acknowledges Rusticus’ importance, particularly that he helped him recognize the need to train and discipline his character and to focus on the substance, rather than form. Marcus learned from Rusticus to be ready to reconcile with people who angered or annoyed him — something that proved vital for the emperor, who in his young years struggled to control his temper. Perhaps most importantly, Rusticus introduced the future emperor to Stoicism, specifically to the writings of Epictetus. Most importantly, Rusticus did not hesitate to speak his mind and tell to Marcus what he did not always enjoy hearing, but what was necessary for him to hear. Rusticus was, for Marcus Aurelius, what Seneca, another Stoic, failed to be for Nero, another emperor. A mentor.

Now, it must be great having someone like Junius Rusticus around — someone with the right temperament, experience, and willingness to invest his time in our growth. Someone whose full-time job is just that. But most of us don’t. And while there are surely great resources around us — parents, family, teachers, friends, coaches, experienced work colleagues — I want to talk about arguably the most important “Rusticus” we already have.

THE JOB

Imagine that I hire you to do a job. The job is straightforward (though not simple) — you will be a personal manager for someone. You are to help this person become a capable human being and help them maximize their potential. Your job description includes:

Help this person get disciplined and organized
Help this person get healthy
Help this person read good books
Help this person get better at their relationships
Help this person improve their finances
Help this person combat bad habits
Help this person get good at their work/business/interest and key skills (for example public speaking)

This is the job. You are a mentor, a coach, a babysitter, and an agent all in one package. How would you go about such a task?

First, you will probably want to get “the lay of the land”. What does this person’s life look like? What is their health condition? Their relationships? What do their days look like, what are their routines and habits? What are their skills? Their job? Their finances?

Second, you will try to put together a plan. What do we tackle first? How do we go about it? What the new schedule and routines will look like? How do we track and measure progress? Depending on what the starting level is, how do we get them to start with the appropriate level of intensity and then gradually increase the pressure? How do we periodically review the goals and targets to make sure they are reasonable and achievable, yet aspirational? How do we make sure our client remains motivated to keep going?

Now imagine that not only you are paid to do this job, but you also deeply care about your client. This is someone you genuinely want to succeed.

How well do you think you would do? Would you give it your best shot?

If your answer is yes, that is good enough. You are hired.

Now. Your client (drumroll) — it is YOU.

Yes, you. The person that you often find less time to help than other people you care about. Someone who could probably use a “Rusticus”. Or in the absence of that — the next best thing.

In this article, I won’t go into the discussion of the how. I already briefly mentioned the two steps — do an “audit” of where you are and a plan for how to move forward. Depending on what you want to learn or explore, or what you want to improve or eliminate in your life, there are tons of resources out there. Here are a few of my articles you might want to check out:

In any case, and this is something I think is fascinating, the HOW does not seem to be the main problem. That is not what blocks people from getting their act together. Strangely enough, in my conversations with people who feel they need to fix or improve an aspect of their lives, the main question is — WHY?

Think about it. In this day and age, whatever you want to fix or improve — resources for figuring out the HOW are all out there. But finding a good WHY to get on it — that is something where you need to do some soul searching yourself.

If you have clear goals, priorities, and processes, you may not appreciate that the overwhelming majority of people around you are drifting in life. They either don’t have a sense of direction, or have simply accepted a direction given to them by their family, friends, or society.

Most of us need to find good reasons to start.

And good reasons to keep going.

I believe it is not that complicated. I want to share some thoughts that may help motivate you to want to move forward. To stop drifting. To grow. To become someone who can make a difference. Make an impact.

THE WHY

Here is one practical case. Almost a year ago, on February 6, 2023, two powerful earthquakes hit Türkiye and Syria. This has been the deadliest natural disaster in the region in the last 1,500 years. The official death toll is almost 60,000 persons. Billions in damage.

I remember that day last year extremely well. Pain, shock, and at the same time, extraordinary effort to help those affected. In my team, pretty much everyone approached me asking what they could do, and how they could contribute. Many wanted to go to the affected areas. With as much tact as I could muster, I had to remind my colleagues that unless they were medical experts, knew how to operate heavy machinery, or were otherwise trained in earthquake response, their physical presence was not going to have much impact, but potentially further strain the limited food, water, and shelter available to the people in the region. Instead, I recommended donating money, or items that were needed, such as warm clothing, blankets, sleeping bags, and perhaps dry food or bottled water.

Unfortunately, many found they could not afford to donate much, or did not have the physical conditioning or skills that could be useful in earthquake response. To which my response was — that is OK. Maybe now you cannot do much. But are you doing what needs to be done to be ready for the next calamity? Because make no mistake, there will be another earthquake. There will be forest fires. Floods. Droughts. Conflicts.

Will you be ready then? Will you be in the right physical shape? Do you have the stamina to work long hours and the strength to move and carry physical objects? Will you have sufficient capacity, financially, to make a meaningful contribution to the relief efforts? Will you be in a position of a decision-maker, to be able to mobilize resources and direct assistance where it will be most needed?

There is a brilliant Chinese proverb: “The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.” If you are not ready, then start getting ready. Start NOW. We should not be waiting for an emergency to will us into action.

Work on yourself so you become able to help others.

Yes, the earthquake is, of course, an extreme example. But even in times of peace, calm, and prosperity, there is plenty to do. Our lives do not just belong to us. They also belong to our families, our friends, our communities.

We have to do our duty. We have to take on responsibility. Only then does life acquire meaning. People around us deserve our best. We need to aim at making things better. For the people we care about, for our community, our country, the humanity. And to be able to make an impact, individually, or by leading people to make a change, you cannot just sit and wait for a glorious purpose. You need to develop the capacity and skillset.

The interesting thing is that usually even if you struggle with defining your big goals, you do not need to overthink it. As you build your capacity, as you grow and become a fully capable person — purpose will find you.

As you work to improve yourself, you will encounter challenges. Challenges will be there no matter what you do — you might as well do your best to prepare. But you can go a step further and embrace the challenges. Challenges are necessary — they help us grow and reach our potential. If life was all safe and comfortable, and without challenges, we would probably just all be weak and incapable.

“The mind adapts and converts to its purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” — Marcus Aurelius

Work on yourself so you can handle adversity.

As you grow, you will also put yourself in the striking distance of unforeseen opportunities. Life is complex. Unpredictable. But that is also why unexpected opportunities will always pop up on your radar. The question is, will you be ready when an opportunity appears?

Work on yourself so you can take advantage of opportunities.

Maybe you feel you are constrained by your circumstances. By your genetics. By the situation in your country. Whoever or whatever is the big monster you are blaming for all your problems — your parents, your government, the economy, global warming, there is still something you can do. There are plenty of examples of successful individuals coming from poverty, war-ravaged countries, minorities, and disabilities.

Find your unique strengths in your circumstances. If you cannot grow because of them, grow despite them. As Alex Hermozi puts it: “It may not be your fault, but it is your problem”.

Work on yourself so you can minimize the impact of your circumstances.

There is a laundry list of things worth doing in this world. Whether you are a fan of David Allen’s approach of shelving big questions and starting the “clean-up” of your life from the day-to-day stuff and then discovering the big picture things, or whether you prefer following Simon Sinek’s advice on finding your WHY first — you can use whatever method you like.

Work on yourself so you can make the world around you better.

There you go. Now — approach your life as your own coach or a manager. Think of yourself, as a brand, a company, or an individual you want to succeed. Be your own Rusticus.

Let me remind you of your job description:

Help yourself get disciplined and organized
Help yourself get healthy
Help yourself read good books
Help yourself get better at their relationships
Help yourself improve your finances
Help yourself combat bad habits
Help yourself get good at your work/business/interest and key skills

Get on it! Remember:

It may not be your fault, but it is your problem. Alex Hermozi

One thing to clarify — I am not trying to convince you to be a lone wolf. Do seek mentors. Find people you trust that you can learn from. Even Kobe Bryant famously sought out advice from Michael Jordan, Magic Jordan, Bill Russell, and many other greats.

If you want to explore this issue further, check out Jordan Peterson’s 12 rules for life, specifically the chapter titled — Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping.

If you liked this read, check out my home page for articles about philosophy, learning, self-improvement, literature, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and more. Here are some you may be interested in:

Your Most Important Job

Not Everyone Has Their Rusticus — What is the Next Best Thing?

Written by Rational Badger