Why Psychopaths are Smarter and More Male Celebrities Victims of Abuse
Do these men, Fit the “Victim Profile”?
(still writing and drafting) Note: Turn into 2 article (male celb vitims and part about sicnece of psychopaths and predators)
Below the following paragraphs, I will put the list of surprising male actors and media personalities, who have been victims of horrible abuse, from comedians to former Rockstar's.
I write this, because I know many of us are told by doctors, nurses, and the others, that we don’t:
- Look or “Act Like”, a victim of whatever we were a victim of.
- What we don’t realize (or at least I didn’t), is that after these traumatic events, certain aspects about how we: Walk, talk, respond and think, change
- These changes increase our risk of being harmed again.
- This is why you will see people fall into more patterns of abuse.
I will also point out a number of other cultural examples and DV statistics, that I understand very well too from my experiences.
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Note:
As a male domestic violence victim, I want to make it clear, I think violence against women, is just as bad. Yes, there are some unique challenges I face as a man. And, this blog highlights some of that.However, there are some unique challenges that apply to women as well.
There are also unique challenges, which I talk very little about, that the LGBTQ + community deal with. So, please, let me acknowledge that as well.
My Goal
I want you to be safe, regardless of your gender, gender identification, political views, background, sexual preferences and so on.If you are human, you deserve to be and feel safe. (I extend that to our pets as well).
Where Does My Anger Come From?
However first, I want you to know why I’m get angry, then upset, then hurt.
I will edit it, because I still feel uncomfortable saying everything I want to say.
Still scared, I will be judged, as this or that.
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Media Mogul: Tyler Perry
“faced repeated sexual abuse as a child named Emmitt. When he was about 5–6 years old, he was sexually assaulted by a neighbor, and then a male nurse in a hospital. Then, a man in the church, in the name of God and the Bible, sexually abused him.
Tyler also faced sexual abuse by a friend’s mother. Instead of finding solace at home, he was physically beaten and abused there by his father. His only escape was to mentally get transported to a park until it was over. He found momentary refuge and contentment in the church.”
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My Frustration Towards The Medical-Therapeutic Community
I know there’s amazing doctors and therapists out there. People who have more compassion and kindness, than we can begin to imagine.
I know they go through hell too. So, this article is for them, and how they can stay safe too.
Where My Frustration with them is
Then, there’s some who are: amazing with some and bad with others.
I think the ones I had, were amazing with others, but not so good to me.
Some were quite harmful to my psychological health.
Nothing I can’t get over, but, things are already hard enough for us.
Note to those in the Medical Community:
-Here’s an article I want you to read, because, I don’t want you to accidently cause more harm to someone whose already in pain.
Pain that comes and goes. Pain, that we don’t always show, or that doesn’t match up with how we present ourselves (because if we did, we more likely get attacked again).
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Other Challenges for Victims with the Medical Community
Their Reliance on Books
-Vs Practical Experience and a Wholistic Assessment
I’ve found the medical community is at times, overly reliant on:
books, papers and statistics (police can be like this in certain ways too),
I’ve noticed, intelligent, well trained individuals are less focused on the often:
multi-dynamic, challenging and dichotomous factors at hand.
WHY?
Its harder, requires more patience and time through:
questions, challenging of their assumptions and past experiences.
I’m sure, many other patients lied, had an undiagnosed mental condition and so forth.
But, we don’t, and, sometimes its the abuse of others that caused the condition in the first place.
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My Verbal and Nonverbal Communication in the Past Vs Present
What doctors don't realize, is what I was like, after the worst of the traumas and abuse.
I didn’t walk, talk and look like I do now.
Certain basic functions of mine, did not work the way they were supposed to, which opened me up to more challenges and aggression.
Why We get Repeated Attacks (partly)
Abuse begets abuse…and predators feed off it.
A war veteran told me, I would get attacked again, if I continued to:
-Hunch Over
-Constantly get out of people’s way (make myself smaller)
-Fawn (essentially, appeasing to others out of fear)
- Protect my chest (vital organs) with my arms
(Victims of abuse tend to do this. But this opens us up to being preyed on, often subconsciously by predators)
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I didn’t know I was doing all of this. Then I began to learn, what other affects these events were having on me that others could see and notice.
-In the article: “Don’t Walk this Way — How Your Steps Tell Psychopaths who to Attack”, it says:
“Overall, targets who were judged to be vulnerable to mugging or assault exhibited less synchronous movement in their walk.
A study found that:
“women who had less-synchronous walks were perceived to be less confident and more vulnerable to sexual assault.”
- PS, this isn’t our fault. Abuse, torment, malicious seeds planted in our head, will slowly cause things like this, in any person.
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Psychopaths are better at determining whose easier to attack:
“Individuals scoring higher on the interpersonal/affective aspects of psychopathy (Factor 1)
are more accurate at judging victim vulnerability simply from viewing targets walking (Wheeler, Book, & Costello, 2009)”
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Doctors don’t seem to understand this though
Today, I read this article:
“Another study conducted by Bristol University details how male victims seldom get asked about their domestic relationships by health professionals.
So, there’s likely limited past experience with this on their end.
Effecting the medical community members Mental Schema, what possibilities and outcomes they would consider, for a man.
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More Challenges I’ve (and I’m Sure you too) have Dealt with:
10 Years in 10 Minutes
Complex Violence is Easier to Understand than Buying Jeans?
Last time I checked, when I go to buy clothing, especially a suit, it takes the sales person if their good, at least 20–30 mins to get the right:
size, style, color, and price.
And, they take their time, to help me.
Vs Therapy
A doctor or therapist, will take about 5–10 minutes, to assume you have a mental health problem…
- Not because of the rape, psychological torment, violence you saw or ran from…
that maybe caused it.
No, it’s:
- “You’re imagining it”…After telling them I was in danger, and nothing else about why, what, how it developed over years..in the first 5 minutes, of the first session.
- My past therapist, didn’t know anything about the person(s), that did this too me, 3 sessions in.
- I’m the one whose wrong, I must be lying or misperceiving reality.
A doctor and multiple therapists (not all), have given me an uphill battle.
I find the need to “prove” the evil things I experienced.
and, those that do evil things, aren't going to make that easy, or, you’d put yourself in more danger, trying too.
Remember: You love yourself, you know and you know who you are
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That Changed Though, Some Months In..with One Appointment
Eventually they realized, how serious my abuse was. I don’t know exactly what made it click, but, it clicked.
Then another, noticed something, and realized the abuse was there. They still didn’t fully believe everything, but, some mild changes were made in how they communicated towards me.
I’m fighting for all of us, as we all are.
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Why is the Medical Community the Worst?
I can only speak from personal experience. Usually the worst reactions I have dealt with, when it came to opening up about my sexual assaults and domestic violence, have been those in the medical and therapy community.
Police, after going through the ordeal (during it it was mixed), have been the most empathetic towards me, as well as strangers and other victims.
Although nurses have always been sweet, the male or female doctors, seem to “know more than I do”, about my life, in the first 5 minutes of knowing me.
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Near Flashback
Like when I was trying to escape, I felt/feel sometimes like no one can help.
“The female helpline told him that they could not offer him any help as they did not have the funding to support male victims.”
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James and his Doctors
“the doctor dismissed the bruises and welts on my arms as no cause for concern.”
The lack of empathy and support from this doctor stopped him from seeking further help, and the abuse continued. “It instilled in me the sense that as a man, recognition of my position as a victim of domestic abuse would not be forthcoming,” James told us.
After having thoughts of self-harm, James had to call a female helpline (male helplines do not work on weekends). The female helpline told him that they could not offer him any help as they did not have the funding to support male victims
Cultural Reflections of Attitude
Violence Against Men:
I want to be clear, I do not think this is an evil song, or perpetuates violence against men.
I think it is somewhat revealing though, of what is considered acceptable humor.
The point more rather, is if you were to switch the roles, and the woman was being abused, I think society would react differently.
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Why?
I guess you’re supposed to look, walk and talk a certain way, if you’re a victim
Actor: Johnny Depp
https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/pop-culture-news/male-domestic-violence-survivors-say-feel-depp-heard-trial-turning-poi-rcna29742
Media Mogul: Tyler Perry
“he faced repeated sexual abuse as a child named Emmitt. When he was about 5–6 years old, he was sexually assaulted by a neighbor, and then a male nurse in a hospital. Then, a man in the church, in the name of God and the Bible, sexually abused him.
Tyler also faced sexual abuse by a friend’s mother. Instead of finding solace at home, he was physically beaten and abused there by his father. His only escape was to mentally get transported to a park until it was over. He found momentary refuge and contentment in the church.”
https://www.wonderslist.com/10-male-celebrities-who-faced-sexual-assaults/
Comedian and Actor: Tom Arnold
“portrayed a paedophile, to bring alive the truth of a sexual predator as he had himself faced. At 4, his father, a single parent, used to leave him with a neighbour to baby-sit him, who lured him with candy and raped him, calling the ordeal a game.”
Ozzy Osbourne
“Bullies at his school used to sexually assault him regularly. Two boys waited for him every day, and would get hold of him on his way back from school in Birmingham.
They used to ask him to strip down, and then touch him and feel him up. This happened at regular intervals, and went on for what seemed to him like ages.”
Actor: Matthew McConaughey
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“Recent studies of Homicide Reviews highlight a lack of training and support in the recognition and handling of male domestic abuse: ManKind Charity reports that in 2021, out of 238 refuge spaces for victims of domestic abuse, only 58 were committed to supporting male survivors.
Related Articles
-Are Men More Abusive? Or Less Likely to Report it?
-Long Term Effects of Extreme Pyschogical Abuse and Isolation
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-The Tactical Victim-
It’s a Mindset, a New Way of Life 🔒
