Wrong Ways Police Handle: Domestic Violence, Stalking and Sexual Assault Victims
And How they Can Improve
EDITING STILL-WRITING STILL
“We have placed out personal saftey, and the responsibility of guarding it,
in the hands of people trained only to respond to crises,not actively prevent them”.
Spencer Coursen, Threat Management Expert
Goal/Intent:
-Improve Communication of Police Towards Victims
-Recieve Feedback from law enforcement on the: why, how this happens, their challenges and what they think might help
-Find and Address Potential training opportunities in Police Academy, after employment, Scenario training
-Increase Empathy-Perspective across professional fields involved in DV, Sexual Assault and Stalking Victims
-Promote collaboration between victims and professional fields involved
(Training program manual, pdf with examples and scnarios)
Not taking them seriously/Not believing them
— In my case, I was laughed at by a couple police officers.
— others before that, took me seriously
What do you want me to do about it?
(find youtube video of this that I saw before)
Issues with this response: Lack of empathy, also, we are coming to you (police), to protect us..
Solution: offer options, choices, ramifications, saftey measures
Or: (Do you feel like you were in danger with a Monotone voice)
(article on empathy saving lives..how it does)
Not explaining the why and reasoning of their decisions. Or saying it in a very emotionless-matter of fact way.
Wrong Way:
“She didn’t say she was going to kills you..its just your feelings..we can’t act on your/everyone’s feeling”
VS
Best Way:
“I realize you feel like you are in danger, and, I wasnt there, so you very well could be. However, we are not allowed to act on something thats not a direct threat.
None the less, here’s some things you can do if you think you are in danger: We can still talk them, as a detterence, you can still file/try to file a restraining order…to stay safer”
Some other examples:
Not explaining the next steps, what will be done with the information, hownit can be accessed and by whom besides the victim, the different options for restraining orders (I’ve heard some requite the victims address, along with police reports).
Keep in mind:
The victim may have been told they will be killed if they go to the police..and hasn’t been..yet..
(Mayne becuase they didn’t, maybe they’ll be killed anyway, maybe they dint know, or maybe, if the abuser finds out, then they will kill the victim)
Example: Police reports
(the abuser will have access to a police report..but not an incidence report as easily)
Using their own intentions, way of emotionally processing conflict and assuming others would do the same
For ex:
Police might say to the victim “why would they show up at your work, over a year later? No-one would do that.
Or, who has the time for that?”
Fact of the Matter:
People that do that, thinking that, for reasons I don’t know either, however, I’ve known people, who work full time, are divorced, have kids, who will re-arrange their entire schedule, to follow or “help” someone they are obsessed with.
Apathetic:
I’ve dealt with police who were very apathetic towards me when I opened up.
The pain this causes and sense of hopelessness, is beyond belief.
It creates a anger and resentment towards law enforcement.
When your brain is in and emotional state, or when you start discussing a very disturbing situation, your brain works differently.
A small percentage of police, will dismiss victims, disregard them, or, have a mixed reaction between caring and not caring at different points.
Sometimes they can’t comprehend that the abuser (who is otherwise a normal person, from what they can see), would do that.
Not all bad
There are some amazing police out there, I’ve had the fortune to meet, who have been incredibly kind, empathetic, considerate and helpful, when I told them my story.
So, for those reading not in law enforcement, do kmow, there are wonderful human beings out there serving us.
I’m focusing on those who may mean well, but don’t realize the potential harm they are causing.
