The Danger of Dealing with Law Enforcement for Domestic Violence and Stalking Victims
-The Tactical Victim-
It’s a Mindset, a New Way of Life 🔒
Rule: Escape first, Explain later
When I was escaping, I found law enforcement to be very 50–50, in their ability to help me.
A few, were incredibly helpful and agreed I would be killed (I only had 5 minutes, to tell them what had gone on for 50 years).
Others, were very unhelpful, to say the least. I know they cared and didn’t want me to be harmed, but, the story was just “too much”, for them to handle.
It was too “unlikely”, in their eyes, in their, experience.
Lack of Time
What I learned was, they have a limited amount of time to talk to you, when they are called out.
Maybe 10–20 minutes, before they have to get to the next call (which, may be a shooting, active fight).
Sometimes for DV and stalking situations, there's nothing happening at the month, or nothing that they can actually see happening.
To them, it appears calm.
Also, like therapists, they get called for a high number of mental health related calls.
They may assume, if your stalker/predator, is socially savvy and highly manipulative, that your just another person, with a mental health issue.
Much like my article:
law enforcement, have only their limited training on domestic violence scenarios, and their own experience with it (or lack of it), in the field, and their own life.
They Follow SOP: Standard Operating Procedures (for legal, not security reasons)
One police officer realized from my story, that I was in danger.
He preceded to ask me for the abusers phone number…he was going to call them.
LUCKILY..I asked what he would say
-He said “that im officer so and so, from ABC Town..
Why is that a problem?”
I had to point out that this would reveal the state I was in.
He had NO IDEA..how he would unintentionally, get me found this way.
- Legally, he has to identify himself and thus, my location.
They Project their Intentions, onto Your Abuser (sometimes)
I found it is hard for the police to think in terms of an abuser, to think in the sick and cruel way, that abusers do.
Much like they tell sales people, “not to sell from their own pocket”, I would tell law enforcement, “Don’t project your intentions, onto others, who don’t have the same as yours”.
They Can’t Comprehend that level of Evil
I have heard police say: “Why would someone do that”, “Why would someone go through all that effort to..”, “it just doesn't make sense”
Correct, it doesn’t make sense to people who would never do that.
It doesn’t make sense, to someone with good intentions, who maybe hasnnt seen or experienced it themselves.
We cant use our own view of the world, our own way of handling things/situations, to understand why others do what they do.
They Don’t Understand the Logistics or Techniques of Stalking
I was told by one of the police officers, i’d be safe, if I moved to another city, or, another state.
He didn’t realize how stalkers/predators, use your mail, to find you.
If you buy another car, in another state, get a mortgage for a new home (under your name),even with taking precautions, it is likely your old address, will still get mail.
There are so many ways for that person to intentionally track you, or unintentionally, track you.
Police, don’t realize this.
Even domestic violence shelters, don’t seem to understand many aspects of this.
So, if they don’t believe you (whoever they is)-play it safe, get out of their anyway.
Related Articles:
-The Tactical Victim-
It’s a Mindset, a New Way of Life 🔒
— note to self: Interview with someone about this, read up, find stats
